Little one scared, Monster wreaking havoc...T not responding to me

It is hard for me to connect the Little Girl with the woman's body I am currently living in.
The parents of the little girl never nurtured her. They never would have understood. They wouldn't even understand today if they were told all the bad things that the church man did to the Little Girl.

I have spoken with my T since I abruptly hung up on her.
I know she cares so much. At times it is a very confusing concept for the Little Girl to grasp. She needs so much attention and when she is really hurting and gets no validation she pushes the Good People away. She is so afraid she is going to be abandoned again that the thought of it nearly sends her running scared.

Have different 3 "parts" live in one mind is so draining.
And sometimes I just want to give up because I am not sure just how much longer I can go on.

When I spoke to my T this morning she said that sometimes the battle just seems tougher then other times and I have to keep fighting...I am doing all I can.
I have good thoughts then horrible thoughts then semi okay thoughts. It is so jumbled at times in my head.
And, believe it or not, it is a very scarey and unsure feeling to "feel good" because it is such unfamiliar territory.

((((((((((((((soul))))))))))))))

It sounds like you are doing a GOOD job! My T says, "things can and will continue to get better as you work toward it. And you are working toward it." It always gives me a little confidence.

It is hard to continue with "others" in your head. You're doing a good job. Be safe and gentle with yourself.

Anne and All The Others

It is difficult for all members here who never had real nuturing growing up, to accept that any T could care so much. IMO it would also be difficult to understand that there is such a thing as love, and real caring from safe people.

T's fall under that category, imo... ppl who really do care, and can be patient and understanding. Sometimes patients push the limits, push against the caring, to "prove" that it isn't real... yet they find it is real. A good T understands the testing that must take place by you who have DID. You have to try the waters, you have to make sure you can trust.

It's a new concept to all parts of everyone, sometimes.... trust.

Sky, excellent point. I had forgotten that. I had that discussion with my T once. Thank you for reminding me. Anne