[SongBirdandDaisy]

I woke up in a cold sweat - literally. My T is away on vacation and he said if I needed to I could email him. I did yesterday because of the bad thing that happened last Wed night. I had a nightmare that he called me and said "what was so important that couldn't wait until our session?" In me email, I had explained briefly what happened. I was devistated, and very confused by his response. And began to think that I was over reacting and that it was no big deal. Then I thought that I am supposed to be "available" whenever H wants it. That that is my purpose in life, just like dad said. That's all I'm good for. And that ppl are supposed to treat me like that.............

I can't go back to sleep. I'm so confused
The littles are scared, upset, and going berserk.
Anne and All The Others

[hillbunnyb]

Bambino, oh so sorry you're scared and having nightares/night terrors. I had them from when I was still sleeping in a crib....... m parents would find me trying to "get out"" ie, climbing the windowsills or wrapped in clothes trying to bust out of the closet.....

I would be totally disoriented, sweating, panting, etc. They followed me into adulthood. I still have remnants though I wake up before I get up at this point. Bad things happened to me at night by my father.......

I'm sorry your t didn't come through for you. Sometimes they just don't get it. They can't understand what they can't imagine. That's what PC is for: us'ns who know, and can share the support and learning with each other.

How's about some cocoa and a slice of peanut butter toast?
Be gentle with yourself, "stuff" must be near the surace.......

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Bunnies

Thanks for the good wishes. Lots of stuff at the surface right now. I did notice in your post about my T. Those things happened in my nightmare - he's out of town right now and doesn't know I'm having a rough time.
Isn't that just the way - a bad thing happen the exact day they go out of town? It bites.
And you're right, thank God for all of you -
I miss my Bunnies

((((((((((((((((((((hillbunnyb))))))))))))))))

Anne

[hillbunnyb]

Oh good yer therapist thing was in the nightmare.......
One of the darndest things, I have found in this life, that is a bitter pill to swallow, is that nomatter how well I plan to take care of myself, set up support, make plans, prepare, whe the time comes to need them, poopoo happens and I end up alone to go through whatever it is. I figure it's gotta be karma.
What will be will be....... my job is to learn to ride it, whatever it turns out to be.......

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Bunnies,
i had bad dreems last nite

annabubbles

I too wake up in panic from nightmares. Though not about my therapist. what helps me is I write down at one word from what I remember. (When I try to write out what I can remember about the nightmare I end up off floating in la la land so now I stick with one word) then I walk away from it by going in the kitchen and making me a mug of goodnight hugs (hot chocolate made by hursheys that does not contain caffiene), sometimes while in the kitchen I also take a couple benedrys ( allergy medication that is also prescribed as a sleep aid by doctors here ) then I take the hot chocolate with me into the tub with a bubble bath. The benedryl kicks in within 15-20 minutes so when I get out of the tub its working. Then I go back to bed with a relaxation tape. The one my therapist made works terrific for this.

I hear those same type voices of memories of my abusers. I counter them with writing over and over they are just memories. Anyone that can abuse a child like they abused me dont really know what I am good for. They didn't take the time to get to know what Im good at like and then I make a list of all the things I am good at - writing, drawing, can play a variety of musical instruments - guitar, piano, claranet, flute, recoder, organ, kazzoo, cleaning, my therapist tells me I have great organizational skills, and so on. I usually end up with between 10 and 50 things other than sex that I am good at. I once had a boyfriend that told me that - that was the only thing I was good at. Im a stuborn type person and when I get mad I get even . I showed him a few time how I could be absolutely terrible at it including not performing at all suddenly he was complimenting me on my cooking, and cleaning, anything to not tell me what he thought about my sex skills. LOL He later appologized for making those type of sexual statements.