[Tigressnred]

I wasn't sure where else to post this so I thought this would be good. Okay a little history. I have been abused numerous times, in numerous ways from 2-17. I am now 37. I have kind of an odd thing that has happened to me. I have three different personalities inside me, they have different names, different mannerisms, different voices, different ages not to mention the different personalities evoke different emotions from me...ie Tigress-adult (makes me afraid, she is overbearing and controlling)...baby-4 (makes me feel silly and playful) and Katherine-16 (makes me feel grownup like someone is standing up for me) The thing is this is NOT MPD, or DID as I do not blackout or anything like that when the personalities switch. My T says based on the way I grew up, I just see the differences more distinctly than most people. I do know that all these personalities are just me, but the feelings evoked are so real and can send me into a panic very quickly. So I am wondering is this an offshoot of my PTSD or something different entirely? Does anyone else know what I am talking about?

[dramatica]

Well i have boarderline personality disorder and sometimes i have something similar. i reffer to how im feeling as if someone else is feeling it, "she is confused and i think its becuase.. blahblahblah" reffer to myself in third person. or depending on how extreme my mood fluctuations are (with the bipolar side of my schizoaffective) it feels like im a diff person some times from manic (a child, [extreme energy and impulsive]) to depressed (an older person [sluggish, irritable, grumpy, tired all the time and slow])

When it comes to me talking liek that, i do it becuase it gives me a bit of space from myself and the extreme emotions im going through. so with being able to distance myself im able to talk about something painful. and not just be sitting there crying without being productive.

as for the moods, i think i just see it like that. but personally, dont actually reffer to myself as anyone different, just to gauge how im feeling and realizing my mood at that time is not "normal". its how i am able to understand and tell myself that something is seriously wrong.

Hopefully this might have helped. good luck and sorry to hear your having troubles

[Tigressnred]

it feels like im a diff person some times from manic (a child, [extreme energy and impulsive]) to depressed (an older person [sluggish, irritable, grumpy, tired all the time and slow])

Yes this is what it feels like me for too! My Tigress is angry and mean, my baby is impulsive and energy, playful, my Katherine is no nonsense, mellow.......Like yesterday I shared on here part of my story growing up and it triggered me...and baby came out to play.....I know it is directly linked to triggers....like if someone tries to get too close Tigress will come out and run them off........anyway, I am just really trying to figure this all out. I have lived this way for so long. Thank you so much for the response it's nice to know you are not being ignored....

[dramatica]

Not a problem just relating to someone, can do wonders sometimes. i like to go through fourms and do my best to support the people have been over looked. no one should be.

Triggers are a pain in the arse

these are the words of wisdom im giving everyone lately. myself included.

tolerate the situation when it occurs.
accept the things you cannot control
and have patience and hope.
Breathe

<3

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Tigressnred

I wasn't sure where else to post this so I thought this would be good. Okay a little history. I have been abused numerous times, in numerous ways from 2-17. I am now 37. I have kind of an odd thing that has happened to me. I have three different personalities inside me, they have different names, different mannerisms, different voices, different ages not to mention the different personalities evoke different emotions from me...ie Tigress-adult (makes me afraid, she is overbearing and controlling)...baby-4 (makes me feel silly and playful) and Katherine-16 (makes me feel grownup like someone is standing up for me) The thing is this is NOT MPD, or DID as I do not blackout or anything like that when the personalities switch. My T says based on the way I grew up, I just see the differences more distinctly than most people. I do know that all these personalities are just me, but the feelings evoked are so real and can send me into a panic very quickly. So I am wondering is this an offshoot of my PTSD or something different entirely? Does anyone else know what I am talking about?

yes I understand what you are talking about ... here where I live and work the mental health community believes everyone even normal people have different "parts" of their self. these different parts of self are what some people and places call "roles", "alter egos" and "the child within".

the basic premise of this is that everyone acts different ways at different times...

examples

when I'm with my wife hiking or boating Im the calm relaxed part of myself, when I'm at work I'm the professional treatment provider part of myself, when I'm in church I'm the prim and proper part of myself.

some people because of stress, trauma and other factors can tell when their moods change so drastically that they seem to be a completely different person than they were a moment ago..

example

this week is career week at a few high schools and colleges. a co worker and I represent the crisis center I work at. we have to sit at this table 6 hours a day and explain our program and the benefits of our jobs. yesterday I was doing great answering questions, giving info and suddenly there in front of me was one of my clients.

I was very much in touch with my moods and how inside of me I was wanting to slip into the treatment provider part of me and knowing I had to stay with the presenter part of me.

the presenter part of me stood up and calmly introduced myself like I have done other times with those that come by our table. She took my hand and said relax doc (a joke between us because she hates the formalities of seeing a therapist) I just came by to say hi, love to work for you but I cant at this time, Im going out of town for the summer, I leave tomorrow. she had found a way to tell me she had to cancel her appointment and did so in the context of the situation and using her high school part of herself, instead of the familiar client self, so that her friends would not realize she and I already have a professional relationship.

[-jimi-]

Multiple personalities without amnesia is usually diagnosed DDNOS.

[Tigressnred]

Omg! I googled that and guess what? So me!.....including the mixture of PTSD. Now I feel like crap though because I am once again in limbo. Not DID....which is recognized...God I hope this does not mean I have no place here!!......

[-jimi-]

I know the dissociative section on this forum is mainly fullblown DID (Why I can't be there).. so I sort of feel like where do I belong?

I don't even have DDNOS, I only have a really shattered self with personality traits in conflict with each other... no history of abuse.

But part from maybe not finding a good outlet on this forum, DDNOS is a real and recognized diagnosis. It is not a nothing.

[dramatica]

lets raise awareness! flood fourms with the diognoisis! lol naw you could always msg the mod's or what not and ask if they could include it as a sub genre with personality or something

Good luck and lots of love

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Tigressnred

Omg! I googled that and guess what? So me!.....including the mixture of PTSD. Now I feel like crap though because I am once again in limbo. Not DID....which is recognized...God I hope this does not mean I have no place here!!......

oh please dont do that to yourself... anyone can read about mental disorders or physical problems and see their self within them. it takes more than what you read about to have a mental disorder. example having parts of your self can be normal or it can be a part of having schizophrenia, identity crisis, delusions, hallucinations, depression with psychotic features, psychosis... and many other problems.

in your first post you stated

Originally Posted by Tigressnred

The thing is this is NOT MPD, or DID as I do not blackout or anything like that when the personalities switch. My T says based on the way I grew up, I just see the differences more distinctly than most people

go with what ever you treatment providers say it is. they are the ones that are qualified to make the diagnosis.

some added info here where I live and work DDNOS does not include having two or more alternate personalities. that would be DID. here DDNOS is anything that does "not" fit the diagnostics for the other dissociative disorders...

example

having only one alter would fit DDNOS because it "does not" fit the diagnostic criteria for having alters - having two or more that is the alternate personality requirement with DID.

DDNOS can have alters they just cant fit the alters criteria for DID.

if you were here in NY - the memory problems that come with DID that the diagnostics are talking about is different than what the poster has.

here in NY being aware of whats going on when the alters are in control is called - co consciousness.

the DID diagnostic criteria for having memory problems beyond that of normal people is different than having or not having co consciousness. its due to trauma or the event being too much for the person to handle the memory of it is held by an alter. example it used to be too traumatic for me to go to a movie theater because of the darkness. (I was abused in an abandon mine shaft.) any time I went to a movie I would switch into another alter that could handle movie theaters. I gained back the memories of the abuse, movie theater and going to the movies during therapy and after integration of the alters that did those things.

when diagnosing mental disorders they look at each diagnostic criteria to see if you fit the criteria.

this may be changing soon depending upon the revisions in the proposed but not yet finalized diagnostic criteria for dissociative disorders in the DSM 5, and other locations may believe differently..

but seeing your treatment provider has already told you this is just because you see things more distinctly than others not a dissociative disorder, go with what they say.

[-jimi-]

You can have DDNOS of the type of any of the dissociative conditions (or a mix).

You can have DDNOS of the DID type, if that is not a bad wording. Some have interpreted that as having different states with no names, they are all you but feel very distictivly different with different habits, some interpret it as lack of amnesia during switches... and other variants.

DSM is a little odd that way. The current one says about DID:

The presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states

and

At least two of these identities or personality states recurrently take control of the person's behavior.

and

Inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.


How to really interpret this? The easy and stricter way would say that there are like "people" inside, and they "take control". "Take control" and "distict identities" are strong words. The amnesia in most cases I heard has been connected to the switching, but DSM really doesn't say that. Or does it?

Changes in diagnosing often comes before changes in DX manuals. This is what is suggested for the next:

1. Disruption of identity characterized by two or more distinct personality states (one can be the host) or an experience of possession, as evidenced by discontinuities in sense of self, cognition, behavior, affect, perceptions, and/or memories. This disruption may be observed by others, or reported by the patient.
2. Inability to recall important personal information, for everyday events or traumatic events, that is inconsistent with ordinary forgetfulness.

It does seem like more people could get diagnosed using that manual.

I have a friend who was DDNOS now diagnised DID and I'm starting to understand how that could happen, because he doesn't have anything near alters, just states of being.