Sick and Tired and Fed-Up

T says that if you change the things you focus on, the things you focus on will change. I also understand that neuronets are created with perception of events that happen around us. These neuronets change connections as feelings change and stimulations change.

Why can't I get mine to be healthy? Why are all of my neuronets stupid!

I have a good day and then BAM! I'm right back to someplace other than the pit. I can't even call this place a pit. It's stinks! And I'm getting Fed-UP!!!!!

I want to have a healthier outlook on life but it all seems like trying to fool myself. I could say "look at the blue sky and today I am off and I have two healthy children a supportive husband blah blah blah blah blah blah." And it all seems like crap! Crap Crap Crap!

I am so gosh darn friggin frustrated I could just erupt!

Yesterday, I was sitting on the front porch drawing. While I was doing it, I thought how nice it looked. Later, I looked at it again and thought who the heck am I trying to kid? My artwork is the one thing that has always been just mine - and now it seems to have been taken away from me too!

This stinks stinks stinks double dog stinks!

Songbird

It takes a long time to change the pathways that we have made over so many years. The more you think the positive ones the more they willl be used. That is what I have been told and read. It is so easy and frustrating to fall back into these old deragatory thoughts. Please don't give up.

It sounds to me like your original perception of your work was probably the most accurate befoer you got critical.

Grab a paw and we will get you out of that pit.

For me it is I have been with this for a long time. I think in order to get rid of them totally It will take a lot of practice before I get rid of the bad thoughts. (((((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))))))) as for me reaching out to people is something I am going to have to do. this can be hard for me. but each time i do it it gets just a little easyer.

{{{{{SongbirdandDaisy}}}}} We just can't speed into anything...to many parts want to have their say and way. It is hard to control the others at time. I am hopeing the best for you and the others......
Lilith

Without your neuronets being haywire we would never have met and none of us here would knowall of you wonderful ppl, right? So I for one am glad our neuronets get the way they do
Reah

Bipolar Bear,

I am hanging on with all my might!

You make a lot of sense and T told me to try and change my focus. Sometimes it is so hard. Most of the time. I just get tired of the constant fight . . . . .

I know what you are saying.

I was talking to my sister tonight and she was saying how you just have to change it, basically get over it. I was so angry and then felt bad that I was angry. But she had no right. She knows what I'm going through, she went through it. It is so frustrating and not fair and further isolated me from my family.

sorry for ranting . . . . but she really hurt me.

Songbird

Reah,

That was so nice of you, what you said. It makes me feel welcome somewhere.

Songbird

Lilith,

Thank you for reminding me to be patient. I feel a little better and so I try to make progress and end up messing things up for myself. So frustrating.

Songbird

fuzzy

oh my god, you described the last 8 months of my life. am new to the site. struggling to deal with multiples.

Welcome Deb. Sorry we had to meet this way, but you will find this forum especially to be truly supportive and caring and a life saver - whether they know it or not.

Take your time and get comfortable.

Welcome,

Songbird

Welcome Debb

I am new myself too, but I have already seen that there are some very supportive and incredibly creative people here.
PLUS, there are safe places to go and people who will take the ride with you so you never feel lost.
Storm