I had to pretend to be someone else.

The other day I was at session, my sister called a few times so I had to see what was wrong, When I answered the phone sister alter did not come forward so I had to be her. It was me making my voice sound like my sister alter. At first my sister thought I was upset but than I was able to get the voice right and finish the conversation. When I was done I was still at session. Is this something that can happen in DID or is that psychotic. My t seemed to be confused by what I did and I was afraid to ask her what bothered her about what I did. I thought she might make me feel that I was just nuts. If anyone can figure out what I am saying here please let me know what you think. I am having anxiety over this. Thanks.

Hi Claritytoo!

Your biological sister phoned you at your therapy session. Your sister alter usually talks to your biological sister, but you had to do that. And I guess you did not have conversations in front of your T. Or did your T notice anything?

Does your T know you have this sister alter? If she does, you could ask her if you changed to an alter or not during a session. You are seeing a psychotherapist, correct?

If your T knows you have a sister alters or any alter, then your T should not freak out.

Yes I was with my t when my sister called. I had to sound like my sister alter so I did. This is something that I have never done before. It was difficult and took a lot of thought. Sense I posted this my t explained to me that some alters will pretend to be one another. I didn't know that happened. So I am ok and not crazy. It still feels weird that I did that. Thank you for talking to me.

We have done the same thing. A few of us have learned to imitate each other. Most of us cant do it, but a couple of the grown ups/ teens are able to mimic real well. Weve done it for safety reasons and to protect secrets.

That makes sense. My sister does not know about us and I am not going to tell her. I do not want he to see me differently and sometimes she needs me to help her with stressful things in her life. I do not want her to think she can't come to me for emotional help. My sister and I are close. I know she knows that something is out of step for me. She has suggested that I might have PTSD. So at worst I will tell her that. I guess I am not ready for my sister to see me in a different light. It took me time to accept that we are who we are. My sister and I were always there for each other through our childhood. I love my sister. And still want to be there for her if she needs me.

if you are here in New York, which is in the USA no choosing to be an alter is not part of DID nor psychotic..here that kind of behavior is called fantasy play...just like if someone chooses to pretend to be a mom when playing house, or choosing to be a knight in roll playing games.

if I had done something like that my therapist would not have thought I was nuts but she would have realized it was what she calls a fake out...someone pretending to be sick and would have questioned whether any other times that I switched into an alter might have been me faking it for attention, or other reasons. if I had done that my therapist would have been very angry that I had used my mental disorder like that... my therapist is a firm believer in things like being mentally or physically sick is not an excuse for bad behavior. She believes that one of the goals in therapy is to learn how to deal with problems without having to run away from those problems. that having alters alters happens because a person could not handle something and when the alters stop coming out that means the person is able to take on the duty and responsibility to deal with that problem their self.

if this was me I would be apologizing to my therapist for putting her in a position of witnessing me faking my disorder and work with her on the reasons why it happened and it would be hard work because my therapist would not accept the excuse of I did it because an alter didnt pop out.. I would have to look deeper than that to things like what was it about my sisters and my relationship that I felt I needed to fake being an alter for..what is it about my sisters and my relationship that makes me feel like I cant deal with my sister, what is it about my relationship with my sister that ....those would be the questions my therapist would be asking and many others too. she would also be asking me things like do I think so little of my therapist that I would put her in such a position as witness me faking....what else would I be faking/lying about during therapy, and to her face if I could do something like that..doing this to my therapist would hurt her in more ways and more painfully then if I had yelled I hate her and walked out the door, never to return.

my opinion and suggestion...you have a lot of work cut out for you...talk with your therapist,

AmandaLouise, I think your response is quite over the top and judgemental.
Claritytoo, I understand why you felt you needed to pretend to be that alter, and yes, alters within me have done that at times, too. I have certainly had times when the 'wrong alter' was in a particular situation and for various reasons has had to pretend to be another in order to protect the system. What most springs to mind for me is child alters having to pretend to be adult alters in work situations where they have slipped out inappropriately. I totally get that the circumstances that lead to this happening for you (talking your sister in the middle of a therapy session). Your sister alter may have not come out to deal with the phone call because of the therapy situation, and I totally understand that the system as a whole *needed* the sister to remain unaware of your DID, and thus knowingly pretending to sound like her was the most appropriate thing to do in the situation. Here where I live and work that is not considered to be faking in the sense that it casts doubt over your DID and raises questions about you faking the whole thing. Here where I live and work that is considered to be a normal, creative way of protecting the DID system.

[quote=amandalouise;2936037]if you are here in New York, which is in the USA no choosing to be an alter is not part of DID nor psychotic..here that kind of behavior is called fantasy play...just like if someone chooses to pretend to be a mom when playing house, or choosing to be a knight in roll playing games.

if I had done something like that my therapist would not have thought I was nuts but she would have realized it was what she calls a fake out...someone pretending to be sick and would have questioned whether any other times that I switched into an alter might have been me faking it for attention, or other reasons. if I had done that my therapist would have been very angry that I had used my mental disorder like that... my therapist is a firm believer in things like being mentally or physically sick is not an excuse for bad behavior. She believes that one of the goals in therapy is to learn how to deal with problems without having to run away from those problems. that having alters alters happens because a person could not handle something and when the alters stop coming out that means the person is able to take on the duty and responsibility to deal with that problem their self.

if this was me I would be apologizing to my therapist for putting her in a position of witnessing me faking my disorder and work with her on the reasons why it happened and it would be hard work because my therapist would not accept the excuse of I did it because an alter didnt pop out.. I would have to look deeper than that to things like what was it about my sisters and my relationship that I felt I needed to fake being an alter for..what is it about my sisters and my relationship that makes me feel like I cant deal with my sister, what is it about my relationship with my sister that ....those would be the questions my therapist would be asking and many others too. she would also be asking me things like do I think so little of my therapist that I would put her in such a position as witness me faking....what else would I be faking/lying about during therapy, and to her face if I could do something like that..doing this to my therapist would hurt her in more ways and more painfully then if I had yelled I hate her and walked out the door, never to return.


You're an idiot. I was protecting my sister like I have all my life. You don't know a f***** thing about me or my life but you feel free to accuse me of faking it. Maybe you are faking it. Maybe you don't know a dam thing about the therapeutic approach to DID. You reference your own treatment. Maybe you should read more. Educate yourself on the present day approach to the treatment of DID. Maybe than you can offer a more productive and insightful response to the posts on this site. Most of what you say is negative and without basis. You reference nothing but your own experience. Maybe you need a new therapist. One that doesn't get hurt feelings while working working with patients who are struggling with their horrific past. Maybe you should just think before you respond. Or maybe you shouldn't respond at all.

Thanks for your kindness. I kinda lost it with my response to amandalouise. She knows nothing about me but thinks it is ok to accuse me of being fake. I might be a lot of things but fake isn't one of them.

well said claritytoo, by having the dx you have clearly shows you are not faking it or pretending to be sick. 99% of people with mental disorder Dx's are not faking it. those who are get found out really quickly when in therapy. I suspect Amandalouise got a bad therapist because any reputable one would never question whether you were faking it as they would be able to tell right away that you were not.
everyone tells little white lies to protect others they love, what you did was nothing more than that.
some people on this site tend to write before thinking or allow their 'hot headed' or 'young' alters to respond to posts without vetting what they write, which unfortunately can cause upset to the origional poster. i find it best to ignore hurtful posts or report continuing hurtful posters to the moderators ((hugs))

Ummm
I take it you know how my own therapist would react if ....I ...had answered the phone and done what Clarity too had done?

thats what my post was about....what my own treatment provider would have thought and done if ...I...had done this.

you might want to read a posters post closer before you choose to judge someone elses post as being judgemental and over the top.

[QUOTE=Claritytoo;2937357]Im sorry that you believe my post about what my own therapist would do and think about me if I had done what you did is, my being an idiot...I take it you know my therapist and know how my therapist would react?

as for mt referencing my own expderience...um thats how we are supposed to be posting about our own expereinces. if you dont like how my therapist works with me then you dont have to read my posts. just click on the ignore button and there you go, you will no longer be offended by how I post about how my therapist and I do things.

Also could you please tell me when name calling and swearing at other members has been allowed. I will be glad to change my posting style if name calling and swearing is now allowed.

I did not call you faking....I stated if you were here in New York USA it would be called fantasy play, faking.

and if you reread my post you will see everything I wrote was about my own therapist and I if I had done what you did.

I did not say what my therapist would do and think is the same as what you and your therapist would think... I posted only about me and my therapist..

I dont know you so I dont know what your therapist would think...only what mine would..

My t also understands the need to protect those we love. And i am not faking DID either. I wish i was.

AmandaLouise, how your own therapist reacts is not of interest to me. Your response to the OP was of interest to me, however, in that it was invalidating and non-supportive. Of course you did not outright accuse the OP of faking it (ie, you did not expressly state "You must be faking it") but the intention of your post could not really be interpreted in any other way.
I completely stand by my 'judgement' that your post was judgemental and over the top. Accusing others of 'faking it' - no matter how that accusation may be veiled - IS judgemental and over the top, no matter how you look at it.

How is pretending to be an alter to protect your biological sister a bad/negative thing in ANY given context?

To the OP, I dont carry a DID dx, but a close friend of mine does, and I would think that she did a very responsible albeit difficult/awkward thing, had she been in your position.

Sometimes littles need to pretend to be grown ups, so as not be found out. Sometimes one pretends to be the other, because they are with an alter's friend or whichever situation you find yourself in.

Its how you stay safe and survive, and I'm glad your T knows this. (if I have permission to hug)

"Here in new york" is not necessarily true. In the USA, my t would not dare take that stance or say that to me. Nor would the other DID therapists that i know. The whole " here in new york where i live" thing doesnt work for all the statements you make here. Sorry amanda louise but you arent the be all and end all of knowledge on DID in the united states. My therapist, a couple of other therapists that i know, my husband who is a therapist, who ihave read some of your posts, do not agree with everything that you have said here. I understand that you do have some knowledge about DID, but youre ot the authority on it, and you do often come across as extremely judgmental.

And that is all i am going to even say, because i am quite sure you dont care about my opinion or what anyone else has to say if they have a different opinion than your own. So i will probably not even be back to this thread, cuz i am not interested in getting into a war of words about how youre right and we are all wrong. Have a good day.

I'm not sure your T was thrilled that you/anyone took the call during session. I'd ask/discuss it with her. Generally it should go to voice mail so you don't disrupt what you are working on in therapy.

just out os curiosity, why didn't the sister alter take the call? Has the Sister alter not met the T? Why not just tell your biological sister you had to call her back and not waiting for a response. Then discuss with T what just happened...
Just a question.

I don't know much about alters, but if you are faking it in the first place, there is a reason why and if you did there must have been some reason for it which makes me think there is something to it anyway, even if its fake. One reason you may have faked it is because you didn't want to go where the t was going and you felt threatened. I don't think she should have gotten angry, and just realise you have other issues related to the alter and where it came from. I'm saying even if you're faking it, there is a reason you felt you had to fake one anyway.

Where I live and work what AmandaLouise did is called bullying and emotional abuse.

You absolutely said I was a fake because of what I did. You think because you just imply it that it don't count. Your wrong. AlsoI have lived in New York State all my life and most of what you tell others is not what I have recently learned about the treatment of DID. And I am sorry for calling you an idiot and using profanity. I have been having a rough time recently because of the horrific abuse I took as a child and was very angry at you for daring to say that I had should not have tried to protect my sister from my truth. I am still angry at you for that. And I still think you need to educate yourself if you are going to be passing out advice. Because if you weren't intending to be passing out advice you would not be responding to everyone and everything on this site. Hopefully you are opened minded enough to read some of the other posts and consider what is being said.

I agree that perhaps phone call shlould not have been answered during the session as not to interupt the session.

As far as faking the alter. I understand alters can imitate or mirror each other. I have not heard a host can do that.. but maybe with enough co conciousnous one can. ( i am not saying you did not clarity) just theorizing in my general knowledge of DID.

My concern is if you love your sister so much and are close.. why does that not include homesty? If she excepts you for who you are she is probably going to be fine with the DID. I am concerned that uou had to "lie" to your sister by becoming the alter she knows you to be. Maybe sister alter felt you were ready to handle your sister on your ownn with T there. Of course i don't know spdecific like if your sister alter is the one who always comes out around your sister and you never do.. ect. Just things to think about.. keep in mind I'm not a T. Just someone else with a little and suspected DID but i care. But your not nuts or psychotic i don't think. Judt pretending to protect yourself or your sister...

As far as Amanda the way she stated what she said may have been a little forward but guys it isn't fair to attack her. I admit i have been slightly ofended by responses to responses she made to me too. But then i read her about me page. Did you all know she is VOLUNTARILY on moderation so that she doesn't accidently get to clinical or too short with people. As a T herself the reason she mentions New York in most posts is because there Re different diagnostic criteria for different countries. She wants to make sure anybody reading ffrom Austrailia knows she is talking about USA stuff. This is important for some diagnoses. There are some where x is not a symptom if held as normal by cultural standards. In otherwords she is looking at the big picture.
Yes, she has a different writting style. I think espevially since she is intregrated and has gone through a lot of crap in her life like us. We can learn a lot from her as we do everyone.
But if you can't get pazt her sritting style then ignore all her posts with the ignore button. And not everyone is going to agree but it can and should be done respectfully.

Now i really hope all of you will still be nice to ME! I really like it here at PC. i don't like to see people argue. Especially when there aren't that many of us. HUGS to all. I care!

I had to answer the phone at that time because my sister called twice in a row and usually doesn't do that unless there is something wrong. Last week my older brother had choked my older sister until she turned blue. They live in the same house and I know it is going to get worse. I thought my younger sister was calling because of something going on between my older sister and brother. Everyone in my family was abused and beaten and my younger sister and I survived. I watched my brother break when he was in his teens and my older sister never had a chance. I had to answer the phone.

If someone really holds an important job like a therapist, I will assume they are mature enough to be able to follow forum rules without being scrutinized.