[monarch_butterfly]

Over this week my boyfriend is staying with me a lot as I have discovered in therapy I have 3 alters. Anna, Klara and Nellie. I don't have coconcious with any of them. I can only feel if Anna is near by.

Despite my T and I telling him DID CAN'T be fixed over night. He appears to be trying to do just that! Any time he gets an alter out with a trigger or she just comes out on her own. He's asking questions. Everything fron what are you out for? To How many are there of you? To where dobyou live. To what happened to Kerri? To Why do you have to help her now. I know this because he has told me in detail every converzation he has had with them minus triggers and theorises about how various people in my life will react to the alters but runs interferance for me when people that don't know come and meet a 4 year old girl instead of a 35 year old woman.

I am getting overwhelmed with the alters and tired and confused. He wants to FIX me. But i don't want him too. I kerp telling him he's messing with fire but i don't think he realises that. And what do i tell people anyway? I have NO control over when these guys switch with me and no forwarming either. Since I haven't had the tests yet it isnt yet in my medical records. That and what do i do with my boyfriend? The alters are overwhelming him. He cries after they visit sometimes. (They do like him) and he asked them to stay away for the evening politely.

[MomgaJupiter]

Wow. That would make me incredibly uncomfortable if my BF/husband did that to me. It sounds like he is trying to wrap his mind around the DID - trying to figure out how it all works. Remember that he just found out that he has four girlfriends now, instead of one. (Yes, I know alters are all a part of the same person, but I'm just trying to take it from the perspective of a BF who just found out about DID.) It will probably take him a few days to find his feet with all of this. If he doesn't ease up soon, then maybe just start thinking about what boundaries and limits you would like to set for him so that all of your parts stay safe and comfortable around him. If he is getting overwhelmed, then maybe just tell him not to ask so many questions but just enjoy hanging out with a different part of you.

[monarch_butterfly]

Yeah the sucky part is. My alters can't remind him of any boundaries we'd set because i can't communicate with them. Apparently they don't answer all of his questions.. but still. Him not knowing much about DID qexcept what he read online is why I had him at my last T session. It kindaa helped. Kinda not. It does drive me nuts. I will see how the next few days go
i haVe to call my T to set up a time for our next apointment so I'll bring it up then too. Thanks for your support!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by monarch_butterfly

Over this week my boyfriend is staying with me a lot as I have discovered in therapy I have 3 alters. Anna, Klara and Nellie. I don't have coconcious with any of them. I can only feel if Anna is near by.

Despite my T and I telling him DID CAN'T be fixed over night. He appears to be trying to do just that! Any time he gets an alter out with a trigger or she just comes out on her own. He's asking questions. Everything fron what are you out for? To How many are there of you? To where dobyou live. To what happened to Kerri? To Why do you have to help her now. I know this because he has told me in detail every converzation he has had with them minus triggers and theorises about how various people in my life will react to the alters but runs interferance for me when people that don't know come and meet a 4 year old girl instead of a 35 year old woman.

I am getting overwhelmed with the alters and tired and confused. He wants to FIX me. But i don't want him too. I kerp telling him he's messing with fire but i don't think he realises that. And what do i tell people anyway? I have NO control over when these guys switch with me and no forwarming either. Since I haven't had the tests yet it isnt yet in my medical records. That and what do i do with my boyfriend? The alters are overwhelming him. He cries after they visit sometimes. (They do like him) and he asked them to stay away for the evening politely.

if you are here in the United States of America...anyone doing anything to you physically, mentally, emotionally, with out your permission is called abuse and is illegal... unless you are a treatment provider and that treatment provider thinks you are a danger to your self or others...in which case a treatment provider can physically have you taken to a mental health unit/facility...

i wonder if this guy who thinks he can trigger you, make your alters come out with out your permission understands he is committing the crime of physical and emotional abuse..

if you are here in new york, your options would be ...

going to a friends house where you feel you would be safe from this kind of physical and emotional abuse this guy is doing to you,

going into a shelter program for people who are being physically/emotionally or sexually abused

have the guy arrested / press charges for abuse.

have the guy arrested/press charges for practicing mental health treatment with out a license/ certification...

or you can choose to stay with this guy, talk with him and take the risk of whether or not in the future you will be safe from this kind of abuse from him.

or you can talk with your therapist and your therapist can report the abuse on your behalf and go with you to obtain a protection order so that he cant abuse you this way again...

here in america we have the freedom to make our own choices so I am unable to by law and by the rules of this site tell you what you should and should not do...

only you can make the decision of what to do..all we can do is give you some suggestions..

if you want to know what ...I...would do, if this were...me...

if this was me I would be out the door and into a shelter where my wife could not do this to me if I had this situation, and my wife would be facing abuse charges...good thing my wife has more respect for me, my body and my mental well being,....my wife would never think to try and trigger me into becoming an alter and would never ever try to perform therapy/mental health care on me..she leaves my health care up to my treatment providers..

Tell him that you dont need fixing, because youre not broken. You have DID, and theres nothing wrong with that. Its a coping mechanism.

Have him read stuff like this
The Manual

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by monarch_butterfly

Over this week my boyfriend is staying with me a lot as I have discovered in therapy I have 3 alters. Anna, Klara and Nellie. I don't have coconcious with any of them. I can only feel if Anna is near by.

Despite my T and I telling him DID CAN'T be fixed over night. He appears to be trying to do just that! Any time he gets an alter out with a trigger or she just comes out on her own. He's asking questions. Everything fron what are you out for? To How many are there of you? To where dobyou live. To what happened to Kerri? To Why do you have to help her now. I know this because he has told me in detail every converzation he has had with them minus triggers and theorises about how various people in my life will react to the alters but runs interferance for me when people that don't know come and meet a 4 year old girl instead of a 35 year old woman.

I am getting overwhelmed with the alters and tired and confused. He wants to FIX me. But i don't want him too. I kerp telling him he's messing with fire but i don't think he realises that. And what do i tell people anyway? I have NO control over when these guys switch with me and no forwarming either. Since I haven't had the tests yet it isnt yet in my medical records. That and what do i do with my boyfriend? The alters are overwhelming him. He cries after they visit sometimes. (They do like him) and he asked them to stay away for the evening politely.

I forgot to add, I went back and re read your other posts/threads and profile.. I think its great all the progress you are making in such a short time. In just a couple weeks you went from having a therapist who would not discuss or label you with dissociation, and you only knowing one alter, to having a therapist work with you not only on dissociation but DID too, and your therapist discussing DID with your boyfriend, and you being able to identify three alters...goes to show anything is possible even healing from DID at amazing speeds. just do me a favor huh...dont burn yourself out..its ok to go fast but only if your mind can handle healing fast. keep working with your fantastic therapist and between the two of you set a pace that will both be healing and right for you so that you dont end up crashing and burning.

[monarch_butterfly]

I don't think he'll believe me. I am pretty physicallly disabled. He knows my abuse history. Cognitively he knows DID is real and that I've had enough stuff happen to me thaat i know of to have DID haappen. But in his heart he doesn't waany to believve i have another mental illness that is severe and will give people another reason to judge me.

I know he loves me and Klara hoas told him the three girls like him. He has always said nothing would break us up. Tonight he said a tiny peice of the logic side of him is telling him to leave me. But his heart won't listen to logic. And i said good cuz i love you and we will be ok. We have been through lots of stuff... then he said casually that his heart could change and go with logic... really????!! I don't want that! I love him! We would be married if SSI wouldn't lower us. Yes he's disabled too. Physically with some depression at times but mild... i know tjings seem worse at night right? Why does he feel the need to protect me yet he's freaked at the same time?

Oh and i did try to get him to read that manual but it was too much for him tonight i think. Hopefully tommorow. I am going to read it at least..

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by monarch_butterfly

Yeah the sucky part is. My alters can't remind him of any boundaries we'd set because i can't communicate with them. Apparently they don't answer all of his questions.. but still. Him not knowing much about DID qexcept what he read online is why I had him at my last T session. It kindaa helped. Kinda not. It does drive me nuts. I will see how the next few days go
i haVe to call my T to set up a time for our next apointment so I'll bring it up then too. Thanks for your support!

Sometimes you can keep a journal and write things down that you want the others to know and they can do the same. I understand the little one may not be able to read or write but some of the others may. I hope thing work out

[monarch_butterfly]

So i got a second T apointment this week. Met with T and BF and came up with bpudariess ee are all going to follow. I think as long as we keep reminding eachother. We will be ok.

[shortandcute]

I don't have DID, but I have dealt with people trying to fix me too; I won't go into details but it was very frustrating and didn't help.