[likewater]

A couple of my alters want presents. This has never happened before. Makes me feel weird like i will be buying myself presents and what if everyone else starts wanting them toi? I can't do that. I guess i could get something everyone would like and could
share. Has anyone else's alters wanted things for Christmas? Usually mine want cookis abd crayons and to keep stray animals and to rent movies but haven',t asked for presents before.

[Luce]

My system went through a stage where it was important for us to acknowledge each other by sharing gifts. I recall it was weird at first, but as we became more and more coconscious we truly wanted to give and share with each other. For us it was healing, and a part of developing greater communication and respect with one another.
I understand how it feels a little weird to buy presents for 'yourself', but for my system was it wonderful way to develop acceptance and caring for each other.

I want to add that sometimes it was really cool to buy special presents to help some insiders, like with something that we knew would be really meaningful to them. Especially for the llittle ones that had lots of trauma and never really had good things. It helped them feel safe and like someone cared about them. It was really nice to help them.
Maybe some of your people would want to give something special to someone else inside too. Its nice for the little ones that never come out in the outside world to have something special that is all their own.

[yellowted]

everyone deserves a treat now and then, how many women do you know who buy themselves an un needed but wanted pair of shoes or new hand bag, a bar of chocolate etc! the only difference is you are aware of which 'part' wants the gift where those without 'parts' simply buy it for the whole 'me'
gifts help with reassurance and feeling loved, wanted, security etc so if they are asking then go for it, gifts do not need to cost a fortune, it is the thought that counts and the benefits will cost you less than a session of therapy!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by likewater

A couple of my alters want presents. This has never happened before. Makes me feel weird like i will be buying myself presents and what if everyone else starts wanting them toi? I can't do that. I guess i could get something everyone would like and could
share. Has anyone else's alters wanted things for Christmas? Usually mine want cookis abd crayons and to keep stray animals and to rent movies but haven',t asked for presents before.

I never bought christmas gifts for my internal system...

for one thing I didnt know they were there until I was in college psych class that required the students to obtain a therapist and psychiatrist, go through diagnostic testing and continue in therapy for the duration of the semester. therefore they had already been functioning on their own since, obtaining their own needs/wants/...... before I was 5 yrs old in regards to the holidays or any other day of the year.

Second it was normal for me to find things around the house that I did not remember buying. that told me my alters were quite capable of functioning on their own with their own job, purpose and reason...as a result of how categorical they were, that told me they were quite capable of going out and buying what ever they needed when ever they needed something new (and did as evidenced by my finding things around the house I did not remember buying)

that said I do know some people with DID that have bought/supplied their internal system of alters with gifts for birthdays, holidays.... with some it was very beneficial to their systems for others it was not.

We get presents for the younger kids. They make out lists for santa, and go through the toy catalogs, and cut out pictures of things they want. My sister and husband make sure to get the kids a few toys, and even our t makes sure to get the kids some special little gifts for birthday/ Christmas.

[Switch]

I've bought things for some of my alters, and once I had one alter give a gift to another alter, but not too much. One alter keeps pushing me to buy her a dress because she doesn't want to be the one buying it on her own I think. Idk. But asking for Christmas gifts... Not that I know of.

[Bloem]

It would be so much easier for me if it went that way, that i 'decide' what we buy and what not. Especially some 'older' alters are always have been able to buy what they want, and they did, and sometimes still do. We are working on that now. I've always found things in the house that i could not remember that i had bought it. If I find that kind of stuff, I know it 'belongs' to someone. I find it difficult because the money could be spent better on things that we need, but it also learns me more about the others.

What i bought as 'gifts' are children's books. What i already bought for myself before i was aware of the others. Only now I know that the little ones enjoy the books also.

For me it would be a good thing, that we buy things in consultation. If parts ask for a present i think Its good and see it as a positive step to acknowledge everyone. And also to work together.

[Claritytoo]

Christmas is a confusing time for me. Presents remind me of how bad the holidays were when I was little. Always something violent happened on, during, before and after the holiday. Any holiday even birthdays. But when I had my son I found great job when he opened a present he really wanted. He would look suprised and a big smile would come across his face. He is 30 now and that still happens. I now also have grandchildren and we love to see the joy on their faces when they open something they really wanted. It brings a warmth to Christmas. But the thought of buying me or the others a present brings back the dread. So we agree that Christmas presents are better when we are giving them to others. It just makes us feel good inside.

[Crew]

What a great question!

All holiadys were really bad for me, I would have to sit in the corner and watch the other kids open stockings and presents. Santa knows we were bad. we just never did anything bad. After being dx'd I moved to a whole other state where I knew no one and barely my T. She wanted me to start celebrating it. WE spent many many therapy appointment with my T starting to help my change how I was thinking. Finding my new life with out ppl hating me. So the 2nd year, my T helped me get a fake tree and we make 500 teal castles and simply put there names on each one from the list my T had. I didn't know they so I thought. Around July start putting money away so when the time is right you and your T could shop togeher.

Our kids get hotwheel cars. candy a pen some homemade candly.
the girls can pick a hot wheel car or stickers (everyone gets paints and journals

This is the way we do it.

***It is so important to start doing what the abusers said no to. Your healing and now your writing the rules not the abusers/
Happy Thanksgiving to all Crew

[Fuzzybear]

[possum220]

Cookies and Crayons sound great and maybe the young ones could adopt a couple of nice stuffed animals from charity shop cos maybe your littlies wanna play with them an have cuddles. Cuddles are great for little people. They wanna play.

[Bloem]

Thanks for starting this thread!

It has encouraged me to ask the others what they would like to have for Christmas.
And the reactions were very nice, we have made a list. And even discussed who gets what. Even though most alters are able to care for themselves. Christmas is a good way to take care of each other and have fun.

Thanx

[Luce]

I totally agree, Bloem! we don't do it anymore but it sure was fun! The inside kids loved changing yukky days into good days, now they have lots of good memories about christmas to replace not so good ones. it was really fun to get little presents that were truly for them, like for real for them. they were little presents but they were treasures.