Little ones wanna ask...

if it will ever be possible to have someone to really snuggle up to in RL, a safe place to fall, someone to love us and care about us for who we are.

Yes it is possible. in general many survivors connect with people that they feel they are safe with and can allow that person to hold them. I am very safe with quite a few of my friends and have no problem with allowing them to hold me for example best friends and therapists. As in having that special signigicant other in an intimate relationship again yes it is possible. I know many survivors that are able to have and feel safe with their boyfriends, girlfriends, life partners, husbands and wives.

Personally I have a few best friends and or significant others that I feel comefortable with that I know I am safe and loved and have no problem with them holding me for example my best friend who lives in the next town over and my ex therapist best friend SKR just down the bike path from me, I have also had a few therapists that I knew I was safe and comfortable with t hat I had no problem being held by for example my first tharapist Pat G, my third or fourth therapist JEH, my sixth therapist Patty R, my seventh therapist Pat S, my 18th therapist and now friend SKR. Though LL has never held me I know that I know that I am safe with her too because there have been times when she has sat next to me and it felt ok, and on a few occasions she has touched my shoulder or arm when talking about something in depression management class and or in sessions and it felt comepletely safe to me. I have also met many survivors in my public speaking days and in therapy and support groups that became my friends and best friends that I felt I was and am completely safe with and have no problem allowing them to hold me.

I think we have to get our tail unstuck first.

Hugs,
Anne

Hi woundedhearts. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now. My t gives me hugs "from afar" so to speak. I have never felt safe enough for anyone to give me a hug and even though t is safer to me than anyone else, hugs are still out. So she tells me to imagine her giving me a hug and know that if she could, she would. Sometimes it makes me feel ick and I can't do it, but sometimes inside I feel that yes, it's okay. Maybe you can imagine your t hugging you for times when you don't have someone in real life. Younger parts here apparently do not want anyone near them let alone touch or hug them but sometimes the thought of a hug from a distance helps.. sometimes not. Eh, I'm too messed up for hugs mostly lol. Sorry wounded hearts. I so hope you find what you are looking for. I wish you so much peace during this time.

We have finally come to understand that our T is someone who cares for us unconditionally though. That's almost like a hug. I wish the same for you soon.

Awwwwww the littles wanted to make you something with your picture Anne. Hope you like it.