Don't wanna go

i don't wanna go there on Tuesday. They say i have to go, we all have to go, but what if the others all go away and leave me again like they did before. There are going to be 4 scary other people there this time and i don't see the point cos the psychologist has already said this will not be a psychology assessment. Feels like it is some kind of test to see if they will give me a psychology assessment, except that they have already said they have closed the psychology waiting lists and aren't giving any psychology assessments or treatments. So it's a test and they already decided I will fail. I don't want to do it. If they make me go I'm going to close my eyes and not hear them all, or maybe hide somewhere if there is anywhere to hide - a table or something.
alice

{{{{ Alice }}}}}

I know your scared. Can you let Caroline do most of the talking to the people?

Caroline should talk but she says she doesn't know what to say and she doesn't understand why she has to go and be told she is worthless either. She wants to get them to talk about us being us but she is not sure how to and she is so scared she might not even be there. She wants to not be there and last time everyone went away and left me and so I tried to go away too and the doctor just ignored me being scared.

(((((((((((((((((((Alice)))))))))))))))))))

{{{{{Alice}}}}}

There's not much you can do really, if the others run away &

leave you there.

Perhaps you should be thinking what to say if that happens.

Keep trying, it will be worth it in the end.

<font color="purple"> Hello. Are you going to see your doctor? I like my doctor and he likes me too. I was afrad of him buuuuttt he is so nice. I do not get to see him much any more. You can pretend to go away too like the others and be very quiet too. I do that. Some body comes any way. jj.

Thank you fuzzy.

alice

Thank you zorah

The trouble is that all of us are scared. Except shula but she is so angry about what has happened she doesn't want to have anything to do with them.

If the others leave me there all alone I won't way anything. I'll close my eyes and try not to hear. The only good thing is that my friends david and lorraine are coming and i know lorraine will look after me. She knows if i get really scared I need her to hold me.
david knows the things to say I have told him.

i think i am just stupid because i know all these things but i am still scared and i still don't want to go.
alice

hi jj

you are lucky that you have a nice doctor. the doctors we have to see are all strangers and the one we saw before was scary and didn't like us. he didn't want to know about us. nobody we have seen so far wants to help they all tell us they won't help us, all for different reasons. sometimes it is because there are too many people needing help. sometimes it is because they say we are already getting help (but the people helping say we need more help). It's confusing.
We do have a nice doctor as well but he is the gp not the doctors at the hospital they are just scary.
alice

((((((((((((((( Alice ))))))))))))))))

No, no, you are not stupid! I think you are very, very brave. I am so glad you are taking your friends with you. Look how smart you are to take them with you. And your friend knows what to say if you can't talk. That's planning. That is being smart.

Keep talking to us. We are here for you.

Hugs,

Jan

Thank you Jan

I don't feel brave.

I just want it all to be over.

alice