[hillbunnyb]

ok gang, here's one of my OMG brain cogslipping experiences from the past:

I grew up on one street on LI NY. (We moved across the street when I was 2.) After I moved west at age 23, I went back to visit at age 24 and I could not find my way around. It was a startling experience.

[kimmydawn]

Ugh. Yes!

We grew up all over the country. One thing important to me was to get maps of the areas of the places we lived. It was very helpful and helped the memories as well! It helped the good memories because the great times were AWAY from home...when I was outside.

(((((( hbb ))))))))))

KD

I had that problem to. its perfectly normal. see as kids we grow up in our surroundings and learn our way around by landmarks. ask any child for directions and they will say yea you go to this store and turn the corner and you will be at this park and...

Well nothing stays the same not even our hometowns, people move, places go out of business or new ownership so the landmarks change, trees and grass continue to grow, the earths soil continues to erode and move with rains and normal shifts of the earths "plates" and so on so where what used to be a hill a year ago can be this years mountain or this years flat land and so on. everything on earth changes a bit every day depending on weather, peoples circumstances and so on.

change is never easy especially when we have been gone and come back. I love a song that a country music singer Sylvia Kirby has because it says it all. its a song called you never can go home. its about leaving a home town and going back to visit but everything has changed the school the streets the family home. nothing stayed the same. you can go home to visit but it will never be the same.

hang in there

[hillbunnyb]

myself, hon , it was one year, not that much had changed, except my brain, I had a dissociative thing going down......

(((((hillbunny)))))
So scary----i've gone back "home" and have a similar experience. I'd drive down the back road someone drove a million times and wonder how I ever found my way home---because I couldn't.....yup, scary....glad for the cell phone!!!

[nothemama8]

have gone back home with hubby many times and it just doesn't seem the same, the lilac bush doesn't feel real anymore , soooo foreign (sp), like I'm a stranger in a strange land

((((hillbunny))))
It's a sad feeling and confusing feeling to be sure. I often have to wonder for myself, what is real and what isn't. Listening....

[hillbunnyb]

we are not alone....... you know, i was afraid to ride my bike beyond a very lmited circle of roads. If I went to the new neighborhood where there were curves, instead of simple grids, whew, and I dissociated there, whew, I just had to force myself to breath adn keep going on faith till I came out somewhere where something clicked...... my stuff started stifling me early......

yea that can mess a persons directional system up too. I have gotten lost here in this city alot and I have lived here for 9 and a half years. one night biking home from a support group meeting I ended up I have no idea where and luckily I had a cell phone where I could call a friend who talked me through this street and that one until I got to SKR's house where I could find my way home the rest of the way. Hang in there.

know the feeling. couldn't find the store--sat in a parking lot and started to panic because i thought the store disappeared---or maybe it was never really there. took awhile to figure it out. hate that.

[wanttoheal]

Hi hillbunnyb ,
I have that problem daily. I rarely remember getting from point A to point B. I just kind of "arrive". The other day someone asked me for directions and I couldn't help them. I had to make up an excuse and tell them I would ask someone and get back to them.

I am hoping that as I heal, I will know where where I am going (and maybe where I've been lol). I guess it's all good unless someone else tells me where to go...

[hillbunnyb]

i am so glad we can find our way here
)))))) ) ) ) ) ) PC PALS (((((( ( ( ( are the bestest

This thread has stirred me up something fierce. Keep getting soggy. Shrinky says maybe it's time for me to grieve. Oh yippee. I've put it off for all these years for a good reason--oooOOOWWyyyyyeeeeeeee kaka yukky stinky pooopooo in there.

The thing that's killing me is the perspective, from here, an old lady, looking back at that little kid, soooo freaking alone. Such unbelievable stuff to figure out and survive on such little information, so few skills, no safe space. NO SAFE SPACE....

We don't have to die to go to hell.

[LILITH]

Yikes! that has happened to me too! And it is still happining now..... the brain has always been lost...

[hillbunnyb]

all it takes is a good trigger OR a good integration....shucks, I'll fall off the horse going in either direction!!!! hahaha