Dissociation and Dissociative Fugue

I am not new to dissociation - I guess I've been doing this for a long time. Its gotten worse, though, and sometimes I go into states where I literally feel drunk - but without any alcohol or drugs.

Its tough but I think dissociation is where your mind/body kind of "numb out" and "remove you" from feelings and pain and the triggering situation (am I right?).

I have one other problem which has cropped up a couple of times. I think the term "dissociative fugue" is correct - I have literally kind of spaced out and gotten in the car, and ended up a long ways from home.

I knew what I was doing kind of - I know to drive, put gas in the car etc. But I honestly just wasn't with it enough to know where I was going or why - I end up someplace (out of state the last time), and not really sure how I got there.

This kind of stinks - I'm just saying.

This is one thing in therapy we don't talk about, but I think maybe my therapist talks about it, but w/o using a label - he calls it "being wound up".

and he wants me to practice "winding down" - relaxing - but I'm not sure if that is enough?

Anybody else have a similar experience?

I can definitely relate to feeling drunk without using any substances -- that is how derealization often feels for me. My husband says that my eyes will become very dilated and like I'm looking straight through things. I agree it is a coping mechanism to remove your self from a trigger. This seems to happen to me a lot in crowded stores.
I don't know about "wound up" -- for me it can be both in times of anxiety *and* if I'm relaxed. Sometimes it helps to catch it right at the onset and try to ground myself, and sometimes it doesn't help at all and I just have to wait until it passes.
I hope you can find some good techniques that help for you! It can be so unsettling.

It is indeed a coping mechanism to protect us from a dangerous environment or trigger. With DID, it doesn't feel as much as "being drunk" but rather as watching your body acting "unconciously." For example, think of your heart rate: you don't control it, yet you can observe it. Same when an alter takes control, you just observe what he/she does, while being completely unable to control it. Then you feel like you start to fade and nothing feels real anymore, and eventually the alter in control gains full consciousness.
That's how it feels for us, but remember every system/person is different.
Regards,
Margaret

Have you been diagnosed by a psychologist because those events you mention can also be caused by other health issues like diabetes. Make sure you have a complete physical before considering it is in your head.

Musica

welcome to psych central. one of the things I do when I see a new name here is check out their profile and other posts so that my posts do not go contradicting their own treatment providers treatment plans...

I see you have been diagnosed with Complex PTSD (suggestion you might want to contact your treatment providers to update your diagnostic label, last spring many diagnostic labels have been changed/discontinued/ absorbed into other mental disorder diagnostic. Complex PTSD is a label that has been discontinued due to other mental disorders now contain the diagnostic criteria of what used to be called complex PTSD, updating your diagnostics can help you to get more treatment options that can help the problem you posted about)

I also see in your other posts that you are on anxiety medications and are sensative to side effects....sometimes medication side effects are things like doing things you dont remember doing. my suggestion here is that you might want to contact the person that is prescribing your medications so that they can assess whether the medications are causing this problem, whether the dosage is too high or wrong kind for your body.

You said you have always had dissociation problems but its gotten worse...one thing about dissociation is its a reaction to things...kind of like if someone says something you dont like you in turn feel angry/hurt or humiliated... the saying something you dont like is the trigger and the feeling angry/hurt humiliated is the reaction...

in order for dissociation to get worse something has to happen (a trigger) to cause your body to dissociate (reaction) Find that trigger and then you can control the reaction.

this is where having your diagnosis updated can help... with dissociation the way to control the reaction is called grounding (some people call this self care, self nurturing, breathing, meditation, mindfulness....there are many words for this). Some (but not all) medical plans will pay for treatment options that teach these things like yoga, depression management classes, Anxiety management classes, treatment facilities that work with people with dissociative problems.....

theres also many great books out there for learning how to relax, you will find them in your library under the labling of self help, mindfulness, relaxation,....

but over all how a person learns to relax is by doing something they enjoy. my way to relax is rowing my canoe around the lake, painting and spending time with my wife and children.

I do have problems with dissociative disorders/dissociative symptoms. how I handle them depends upon other accompanying symptoms /why they are happening. ie if the problem is getting worse with me its usually a medication problem. once my medications have been adjusted Im free of the problems.

Hi Childlike Empress,

It happens to me very fast, so its been hard to catch myself before it happens and ground myself.

Sometimes I like it a little - it just deadens the pain some. But I don't like it if its happening to me at work or someplace where I don't wish to be embarrassed or do badly because of it.

Sometimes I like it in counseling, and it happens there once in a while, because it removes me from the pain of what we are discussing.

But I think it freaks my therapist out a little - although I guess he knows what it is - (I'm not sure?) - I know my medical Dr knows what it is very well and handles it very well.

It does help when people are knowledgeable and handle it well.

Amandalouise,

Thank you for your comments which I read carefully. Yes, I knew about all of that except that Complex PTSD had been updated.

My therapist and I only use labels when they are useful. Now, I am sure he has them on record. But they make me worse - why?

Because I have also gone through Domestic Abuse - I am struggling to heal from that as well as all the other symptoms, so I am struggling to regain myself as a person. I don't do well when labels are brought up because I feel they reduce my "personhood" to a "just" a label.

I won't go into that further, except that my ex is actively stalking me (online, in person, through family and friends, etc) and he is dangerous and I think possibly psychotic (I am serious).

So my personal safety is at stake and I hate living like this.

I also moved to another town within the last 3 months. It was a long move and I did it due to ex's stalking and because there was a strict church hurting me in the city I was in - and because I was at high altitude which bothered me too (physically).

I do like my new home but I'm still in temporary lodging, getting used to a new job, wondering about my future.

And I'm new to therapy.

And I suppose those are enough triggers for anybody. At least I think so.

So thank you for your comments - I do not take many meds and have been advised on it, but side effects are so serious, that even my medical providers think I'm right in not taking them if I can help it.

Its a tough way to go, but I'm doing my best to hang in there. I'm a little better as of today.

Thanks again for all you wrote.

One more thing which I think is triggering my dissociation is that I feel rushed in therapy.

My therapist is talking about the end of therapy, and I feel I just started!

I have been evaluating if he is the best therapist for me or not?

But, I have built some trust with him and that's very hard for me in the first place due to my circumstances.

But my therapist says I am in charge of the pace of my therapy - so I decided this week I am definitely going to take charge of it and slow the pace.

Claritytoo,

Yes, I have been diagnosed by a Clinical Psychologist and Physician - both are in agreement.

Musica91

I have never been to this boards before. I thought it was just for people who had multiple personality disorder. I have very severe disassociation issues that I have been in a level of denial about-.I suppose we have to be really. I have played down the severity of it to myself. I have disassociated since I was a toddler and I just put myself into a trance ever since, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. Im 26 now, so I've done what you do for a long time.

Visiting this board tonight has been a painful wakeup call for me...although it did make me diassociate a result!!

it's weird reading your posts because have always done the same thing except with walking, because I dont drive. I also slip into a trance when being driven very easily, so its probably something about the rhythm that does that. Apparently movement promotes dissasociation because it makes it easier to fall into a trance, gence why people often mention driving.

I also have very extreme reactions to medications to the point that it ended up being ascertained that they had caused me mixed episodes of mania for 7 years. I wouldnt say one of the side effects of the meds was disassociation though. I have disassociated to the point of being able to put myself into a trance though moving a piece of string in my hands listening to music, walking nd being driven for years. It causes huge memory blanks. Makes me wonder whether its some kind of sinilar brain chemistry which causes people to diassociate and to be very sensitive to meds, but maybe it's just chance.

I also was involved in a domestic abuse violence for many years, albeit it involved being trapped living with my father until I was nearly 26 due to my issues and the side effects I had on the meds. I have been in a womens refuge in the past to get away from him.I was also involved in a very bonkers evangelical church at one point, which was harmful to me. I had gone to them to be looked after, and it was just pure madness. I have severe post traumatic stress from everything that happened. I haven't been diagnosed with complex ptsd, because it isnt a diagnosis in my country, but there is no doubt that I have it.

I think my diassociation developed due to needing to survive adverse childhood experiences. Fo me, it is more potent and powerful than any drug or alcohol.However, I get dreadful flashbacks now and triggered badly even by certain words or objects, so i still disassociate even though I have recently got away from the abuse. It's like I can't turn it off. I'm not even sure I want to. I can honestly say that the trance I fall into is more powerful than heroin in its effects!

I dont have any advice other to say that I understand what you are talking about, and although every situation is different, I have some understanding of the things you have experienced too . Have you tried grounding texhniques? Is part of you scared to lose the spaced out detached feeling it gives? It is like a drug