[MisfitAmongstMisfits]

I have a problem communicating with t while at the office, but over the phone its much easier, and through e-mail even easier, but how do I learn to let go of all this shame I have built up inside of me so I can try to open up more in the office visits?? Do I make sense?? I get the shame from my actions in the past working with t, and shame of how I feel like about my emotions, that one I dont understand yet, its just thier, the feeling...anyway...any ideas...need some help...thanks

[withit]

You can write it on a piece of paper and hand it to her to read. Or, you can decide that, 'today, no matter what, I am going to talk about this.'

[MisfitAmongstMisfits]

hand her a piece of paper, infront of her , have her read something, no, cant do that, to scary....and deciding today is the day sounds real scary too....sorry.. ...just not ready for that yet.....still need help with those things...

[pegasus]

Hello MisfitAmongstMisfits,

Make sure that you feel comfortable in T's office, you can take something with you that makes you feel safer.

You could just jot down one word on a notepad to prompt you into talking about things. I take a notepad with me too.

Remember that T is there to help you and understands how painful this is. Maybe you could explain to T that you find it easier to write things down and then you could discuss this at length.

Take care.

[MisfitAmongstMisfits]

I think by now T realizes how difficult therapy is for all of us.....when we sit in silence i just zone out usually, its just so hard one on one, i get so nervous my hands sweat, and the leg starts shaking, T knows im nervous, i just wonder has anyone else ever been still so nervous after all this time....or am i just keeping a wall up for some reason....i dont know

[bipolar_bear]

For a very long time I would go into T office and not know what to say (I still do many times). I finally started journaling at her request and have found it to work very well. I still feel very nervous when she reads it but it is better than trying to speak it. Good luck on how you decide to handle it.

[MisfitAmongstMisfits]

i just started kinda journaling...recently offline and sharing that with her....but that makes even all the more afraid sometimes, feel like we let her in on too many secrets, or i dont know, just makes us very nervous.....thanks for your thoughts...

[SongBirdandDaisy]

In my experience, writing that stuff down or trying to say it out loud makes it real and that is where my resistence comes from because that means then I have to deal with it and I've been working all these years to not deal with it.

It's hard to get some of that stuff out there. A lot of self talk and nurturing from the T finally allows some of that stuff to be addressed. It takes time so please try and be patient with yourself.

Journaling: I journal lots because that's how I get stuff out. But it's private journaling, not on line or anywhere else. I do let T read some of it but he always asks me where he should start and where to end. Unless he's concerned for my safety, then he reads more.

Just remember to be patient with yourself and what happened isn't your fault. It may "feel" like it is, but it wasn't.

Songbird

[MisfitAmongstMisfits]

Thanks SongBird....