Something happened in my last therapy session that hasn't happened in many years. I used to disassociate alot.

This experience scared me and I thought that I would ask what you all think happenned...

I have started to tell my very deepest secrets in therapy (ones I have never told anyone). I mean I have told alot and had a alot of therapy - 20 some years but not these secrets.

As I left the session, I lost time... about 5 minutes worth, as I said goodbye. At the pdoc I normally squeeze his elbow (silly I know but it's kind of a ritual after 4 years) but this was the Therapist - not the Pdoc.

So I kinda woke up to reaching for his elbow and ended by shaking his hand. For a few minutes I felt like and was with my pdoc (who I am very close with - this T is new since Dec) The experience was just so strange - I haven't figured it out.
I think that as I go thru these secrets, I may disassociate alot again.. Do you think that is OK?? to go back to that method?

Sorry for being so clumsy about explaining this. I used to be very separate and that was OK with me. I "knew" what I was doing and didn't "lose" time. Completely,
losing time hasn't happened in a long, long time.

Sorry again,,,, I just would really appreciate your help.

I haven't posted in this forum before.

Sincerely,
freewill

[(JD)]

Yes, I do think it's quite ok..and in fact, might be necessary. For someone to dissociate like this in therapy probably shows that those walled off memories are "kept" by you in another aspect of you... one part of you that knows all there is to know about those memories, perhaps the "one" who got you through them.

I think it's great that you are trusting both on your support team enough to share... and hope you work through the bad stuff quickly. ((((safe hug))))

[kimmydawn]

I think it's OK and quite expected. I'm sure that your t will do just fine in the situation. I do think you should discuss with him exactly what you said here so that he can go back over and try to prepare for similar in the future.

I think you're very brave, and this kind of dissociation very good and necessary. it was for me in my healing process.

Love and Luck.

KD

[sujunew]

The same thing happened to me 2 (or was it 3) sessions ago. I have just started working on some...terrifying...stuff from early childhood, and in this session it took all my effort just to stay 'in the room'...I wouldn't have physically left but I could feel myself blanking out. In the end my t ended the session early to allow me space to 'find' myself (and she probably grew frustrated at practically no response from me for most of the time I was there)! I think that it IS very neccessary if whatever you are facing is too overwhelming, as long as you are safe and with someone. I know for me if I had been alone I would have been 99.9% likely to SI and be unaware of it until I became aware of the pain. My t has not seen me doing this before- she has seen me distancing myself but never to this degree. It was totally out of my hands and I was exhausted afterwards from the effort of trying to stay in the session. Just try to ensure that you are 'back' before you physically leave, for your own safety.
(((((freewill))))) good luck and I hope you can work through this ok.
irish

[Crystal88]

when ever I do something I havent done for a while in therapy like get angry or dissociate more or have a panic attack my counselors first things is to find out and try what has worked before and find out why I doesn't work now so that we can fix it so that it works again for me.

You said you used to dissociate but it hasn't happened for years. What things did you do for years that made it stop. Couldn't you do those same things now and that way it will stop or at least you will have more control over it like you have for years.

Thanks for your help... I made my appointment today - was an hour early but not late LOL...

Pounding headach right now and tummy hurts..

I haven't disassociated in years but am now cause FINALLY all the secrets can come out.. (my dad has passed, my pedophile has passed, my son moved out in Jan so I'm not as worried about him - he's grown 22, I'm on disability so not dealing with working)

So I think I am going to feel this way for awhile as I allow myself to sort thru things... I need to do some of things I used to do when I disassociated before - like the post it's and keeping a calendar always... I don't think I can talk about these "secrets" without disassociating... but that's Ok..

Wish me luck everyone,,,, I am continuing on the healing journey...

I so like this T...

[Crystal88]

Sending you lots of luck.

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((freewill)))))))))))))))))))) Good luck. I am glad you like your T.

((freewill))