Sherry: I'm trying to give up being embarrassed and ashamed over us. We can't help how we be in the public eye. We just want to be normal and behave one way, but we can't.

Steven: yeah me 2. My new co-workers look at me funny because this opposite gender switching thing. Now that I know its not just me...I can tell which explains all the looks and words I've heard all my life like "people like you" huh? Sux.

[Luce]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Some of us feel like we are heading to a breakdown while others think that we are being silly. Idk.

Were trying to stay focused on this because its a matter of survival which takes all of our time.

Maybe some of you really are feeling on the edge of a breakdown.
And maybe others are feeling more in control.
Maybe the ones who are feeling calmer could give the not-so-calm ones a hand.

Steve: this sucks. Just seen the insurance plan at work. It doesn't cover behavorial or substance abuse outpatient. I told my new T and she said "so sad too bad " not in them words, but pretty freaken close.

Its better to quit and just get a pissant job. -_-

This job sucks anyways, pays good but not for what they dumped on me. I'm tempted go back into business.

[Gr3tta]

I took a big step in getting my house under control today. Feels good.

Ok, I'm Alpha and I'm resuming body/mind control and the rest are my advisors. I should of never unlocked the gate in the first place...what a messed up year. But, everyone wanted a "nicer" me....idiots.

So there, let's try this again and fix all the damage.

3 words.

lots, of, blood

what a crappy afternoon..

[lucidity11]

We went to session today. T is talking to the group now instead of only the one at session. She told the one group that the danger we had is gone. It was difficult conceptualizing this. But it is true. I don't think the group ever heard that before. Even now it makes us think.

[lucidity11]

I went to session again today. T thought it went well. Some of us did also. We were very space after session so we slept for a little before we could drive. The rest of the day has been really bad at times. Mostly I feel numb,depressed and self harming. I took a nap for two hours and felt better when I got up. But now the bad feelings are creeping in again. My brain is tired

[Gr3tta]

I had a Really tough therapy session on Tuesday. I am finally feeling recovered from it.

[lucidity11]

It felt like a long night last night. We cried suddenly. It felt good after. We didnt really have a thought asto why we were crying but it seemed to relieve the feeling of numbness. Today we are better, exhausted but better

[Irine]

I think i have dissociation. but not to the extent of DID. I do lose track of time... find it hard to remember what was last day, hour...it feels unreal. Like im somewhere else...like also i feel the energy of mine, and i know....that it is me, but somehow i sense...that "she" is thinking....and i can also sense, know what about. I can sit for lots of time just stating into space and not notice how much time has passed. I would think i was thinking of something but it feels as though "not there". I was told "you stold about my standing and staring into nothing by irritated friends ones. I argued at first, because i could not recall i did. After a while i recalled that it was a possibility, and sometimes i do that. Then i recalled a little that I did. ... I don`t know...also when people talk to me - if its in the family sometimes i would forget what i was going to say, try to recall it and then lose it all. Just look around and feel i am floating...

[flockpride]

That sounds like dissociation, for sure.

[lucidity11]

I started going back to see my t recently, we have been working on my system, trying to better understand how we are. I also notice that I have been wanting to sleep more. It's 9pm and all I want to do is go to sleep. Its not so much that I feel tired I just want to hide in sleep. It worries me a little. Maybe its depression. I don't know. I just want to hide. I don't really like feeling like this.

trying to find the words of what i want to say..

their is something i want to say and create a thread about, but can't find the words right now

Its true, I'm so tired of this condition so that now I don't even want to think about it....just do our day like a switching robot. Sigh. Ignorance was bliss. -Does it matter?

Probably why we drink to oblivion.

was told yesterday... mental illness- the whole thing's a choice!. um, hello... no it's not

no one asks to be MI

god... what is the world coming too

(and i thought stigma was meant to be improving)'

[lucidity11]

I think it is time the medical community redefined the term "mental illness" DID is about survival. It's our mind creating ways to save our sanity. To protect us from someone elses insanity. It is a tool for survival. But those of us who have had to use it don't know how it works or how to put things back into place when we no longer need to use it. DID is not an illness. It's a condition.

Originally Posted by lucidity11

I think it is time the medical community redefined the term "mental illness" DID is about survival. It's our mind creating ways to save our sanity. To protect us from someone elses insanity. It is a tool for survival. But those of us who have had to use it don't know how it works or how to put things back into place when we no longer need to use it. DID is not an illness. It's a condition.

i don't like the term illness, at all

which is strange- because as soon as someone gets going about mental illness and how bad it is, i get really annoyed

(but then maybe that's because i hate people who just can't grasp other conditions)

Hi- Im Steve and Im our new host being anyone else cant handle a bunch of idiot employees. So, thought Id say. Its like this forum is anywhere really up my alley, if you know what I mean.

[kecanoe]

I haven't lost time for 2 months now. Yippee!

[lucidity11]

went to session, I am exhausted

[Kiya]

went to art class... had to draw drift wood. tried it several different ways - each time looked worse. I hated it and the teacher knew it. Trying to make me like it, she finally said (and this is the funny part, since she doesn't see the joke) "It's almost like each one is a different personality (my eyebrow went up), you know, like if you made cartoons of them? Several personalities."
My disorder is showing up in my art

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by Kiya

went to art class... had to draw drift wood. tried it several different ways - each time looked worse. I hated it and the teacher knew it. Trying to make me like it, she finally said (and this is the funny part, since she doesn't see the joke) "It's almost like each one is a different personality (my eyebrow went up), you know, like if you made cartoons of them? Several personalities."
My disorder is showing up in my art

Van Gogh's disorder showed up in his art work. Makes sense.

Originally Posted by lucidity11

went to session, I am exhausted

i hope at least the session was worth it.

(((((hugs))))

[Lost_in_the_woods]

So sick of this crap!! I hate this dx i hate living with all of these opinions and thoughts that aren't mine!!! I just wanna hear one voice one POV and be able to know what is going on!! Not to be constantly having to pretend and defend and deny never knowing if i'm being lied to and blamed cuz someone knows that i am not aware of the outside world always or if one of us truly did something wrong and then feeling guilty about stuff that i have no clue if i should be owning up to or not!!! I just want it to all stop!!!! Aaarrrggghh!!!