I just told my boss everything. He was lovely. I cried a LOT. I'm guessing my boss is googling PTSD as I type this.

Am completely drained and comfort eating on the credit card now. Then the job hunt starts

Originally Posted by CassyO

I just told my boss everything. He was lovely. I cried a LOT. I'm guessing my boss is googling PTSD as I type this.

Am completely drained and comfort eating on the credit card now. Then the job hunt starts

crying is good for you

everyone needs a good cry sometimes

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

wow, the check in thread has been pushed to page 2 (sigh)

anyway, currently fed up of some people who still wish usd a happy birthday in january.

i can understand that ojn the birth certificate, that's what is.. january is our birth month

but for heaven's sake... we prefer it in april. why can't everyone just see that... april april april!. not january!

even when websites ask us for our birthday we say it's in april. and i know this sounds a stupid rant (partly because, even when we prefer to celebrate, we don't actually celebrate at all) just think over the last year and how depressing it's been.. but it still gets to us.

apart from that, not much has changed.

still struggling with sleep, and still reading the same book (you know, the one we were meant to finish months ago)

hope everyone's okay..

Ya....we kinda started our own dumping grounds! Lol

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Ya....we kinda started our own dumping grounds! Lol

sort of like in tracey beaker?

lol, that's the first thought that pops in to my head when someone mentiojns, " dumping ground"

we finally started our new book. yay!. we are reading the perfect holiday by cathy kelly. (a shorter, much easier book to cope with)

[lucidity11]

wasn't able to learn my new job. I will be getting transferred next week to another job. In all my life I can't think of a time that I couldn't learn a job. Maybe it's because I am older. Maybe it is because my part that did most of the office work only helped a little. I couldn't remember from one day to the other. This has upset me greatly. I can't have this be my life that I can't remember from one day to the next. I won't allow that to be my life

[IB splitting]

I'm really trying to stay co.. But when I can't because of (no fault trigger) I lose days at a time. I never know what day it is.. Frustrating..

Im a complete wreck

WTF is happening to me?

Originally Posted by CassyO

WTF is happening to me?

Susie:

What's the matter hon? I hope that you get to feeling better.

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Susie:

What's the matter hon? I hope that you get to feeling better.

Thanks Susie I just don't know what is happening. Im so permanently confused. Everything is changing, and Im scared but making things change faster and I don't want them to. I can't predict what Im going to say or do or be from one second to the next. My body is just awful, the aches, the tummy problems, the weakness, the exhaustion, the insomnia. Im so so confused, but not depressed (except when I am) and even though I don't feel depressed Im just constantly trying to fight off the sui and its getting so hard. And because of that effing T, now I want comfort, and to be with someone who cares about me, and for the first time I care that Im on my own and I hate this. Why am I even doing this to myself? Its all so helplessly self induced and I don't understand why I can't just make this all stop.

Steve:

Finally, tomorrow is the first time that we get to work for someone in a lifetime. I hope the others don't muck it up.

[lucidity11]

Just got home a short while ago from a crazy job I have at the moment. Had a pork chop, sweet patato and some red wine. Feeling very relax. All in all a good day.

Shelly: Work has kept us so busy that we are like not here all the time!

barely anything to report.

got through valentines (really lonely and depressing time) especially since most people i know, or speak too, have a valentine- and i don't.. and it kind of defeats the object of the day

had some pancakes during pancake day (which were actually not bad), seeing as for the first time in years i actually got them right (success!)

weather's been cold, but summer depression has all ready started (despite summer not being for another few months)

started a new book, " be carefull what you wish for", still not sleeping, you know.. all the usual stuff. barely anything ever happens in my life

[ChildlikeEmpress]

Wow I haven't been here in a long time. I just didn't feel like talking online anywhere. I've been slowly learning to deal with my physical issues with P.O.T.S. and do things when I have energy -- sleep when I don't. We've been through so many tests in the past year!! Getting real tired of doctors. But it's good to keep on top of things I guess.
Emotions are still really blocked off except for sometimes like when my kitty disappeared overnight and I thought he died -- thankfully he is ok but I sobbed all night before he showed up again! That's the most emotion I've showed in awhile.
In general just trying to get back into life. I feel like everything has been on hold for a year!
CE

[Debaser]

Have to go visit grandmother later, to wish 'happy birthday'. An evening of being touched, being called >birth name< and being pestered for pictures of their 'grandson', oh joy.

[kecanoe]

Not switching very much

[Gr3tta]

I missed t 2 wks in a row. Now i don't want to go back. :, (

[lucidity11]

I freaked out last week and went to see my t. I have another appointment this wednesday. Not sure if I will see her again after that.

we told someone new (someone we don't really know) that their were insiders.

why we told them.... no idea.

but he seemed a little interested in how it worked- and so it wasn't all bad (though he was confused by the whole idea of someone having a system)

not much else to say. we've not made much progress on anything- reading (can't consontrate), tv (can't consontrate), sleep (none at all), and more importantly- know idea about what we're hoping from life

Hi yall, work has been so hard on us. Its a system shocker. Its like being in high school again, dealing with all the other persons and yourselves.

Some of us feel like we are heading to a breakdown while others think that we are being silly. Idk.

Were trying to stay focused on this because its a matter of survival which takes all of our time.

We are still cuckoo as ever, so not much has changed our way. I hope that its all treating you better than before.

[Gr3tta]

Had a good 90 day review at work. All are working together pretty well right now. Having sadness with difficult flashbacks though.

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

Had a good 90 day review at work. All are working together pretty well right now. Having sadness with difficult flashbacks though.

(((((Gr3tta)))))

[lucidity11]

Not the best day. I got things done but battled anxiety all day. I had to stop and take breaks to be able to remain focused on what I was doing. I am done for now but feel shaky and spacey. Along with plenty of fear. These feeling exhaust me.

we had an interesting (and rather worrying), experience today.

an alter of mine (a rather dominent alter) has her own email address, individual from the rest of us

and we saw an email in her sent items (that was meant to be from us)

though we're hoping it's all a big miss understanding and actuallyy their's something i don't know about (like she knows the website or something)

new it would finally happen