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  #1  
Old Feb 28, 2015, 06:52 PM
Claritytoo Claritytoo is offline
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A close family member said something mean to me today. I told them they owed me an apology and went on my way. I didn't feel hurt, I was somewhat annoyed, Now hours later I am not sure if I should have had feelings of hurt and had turned them off. Or I really wasn't hurt. As I think of the event now hours later I think my feelings were hurt because what was said was mean and uncalled for. But now I am also questioning whether my feelings of hurt are coming from an intellectual introspective assessment of what happened. Or are an actual emotional reaction irrespective of my intellectual assessment. Has anyone had a similar experience?
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Anonymous48690, Ocean5

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  #2  
Old Mar 01, 2015, 06:14 AM
Anonymous200155
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I haven't experienced a lack of emotion, but I often wonder if I overreact to certain situations. Like something will happen that will invoke an emotional response that is out of proportion to the situation, then I spend hours dwelling on whether or not my response was warranted. Similar situation but also the complete opposite. I suppose in a sense it is similar thinking.
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Old Mar 01, 2015, 04:10 PM
Claritytoo Claritytoo is offline
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Thanks. It is similar. I sometimes don't know if what I am feeling is related to the event or a reaction based on what I perceive would be a "normal" reaction.
  #4  
Old Mar 01, 2015, 08:13 PM
Ocean5 Ocean5 is offline
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ChaoticInsanity, "emotional response that is out of proportion to the situation"

I've been told that has been me... I asked an ex in past year if I acted or did anything strange when in college. That's one of the things he brought up.... among some other things that really confused him.
  #5  
Old Mar 01, 2015, 08:52 PM
Dobby67 Dobby67 is offline
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I have this all the time. I never know if I reacted the right way because I was just not effect by what was said at the time. It's like hours later when I start thinking about what was said that I start wondering if it was something I just made up in my head or if it was real.
  #6  
Old Mar 02, 2015, 06:05 PM
Anonymous48690
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A lot of the time, depending whose up front, there is no telling how I'm going to react. Each personality has their own way they deal with stimuli. After a change later, it's like WTF did I behave like that according to the alter next up front.
  #7  
Old Mar 03, 2015, 09:30 PM
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Restin Restin is offline
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I've been there many times, as I do have an alter and there is often confusion about how I really feel or should feel. What has worked best is to follow the strongest feeling Not the logic but the feeling. Then go back to the person who riled me and say something or other. Maybe not too hard, as I don't need a guilt trip. But just telling the person gently that I question what he/she said to me helps both my logical self and the inner child. If I can't tell the person, or am too afraid too, I will work up some anger, beat on a phone book, and cuss, until it gets out of my system.
  #8  
Old Mar 03, 2015, 10:27 PM
Claritytoo Claritytoo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Restin View Post
I've been there many times, as I do have an alter and there is often confusion about how I really feel or should feel. What has worked best is to follow the strongest feeling Not the logic but the feeling. Then go back to the person who riled me and say something or other. Maybe not too hard, as I don't need a guilt trip. But just telling the person gently that I question what he/she said to me helps both my logical self and the inner child. If I can't tell the person, or am too afraid too, I will work up some anger, beat on a phone book, and cuss, until it gets out of my system.
So much of my system is based on logic. I think that is how we all got here. We had to survive so we logically did the only thing we could do to survive make others to take on what was too much. It is interesting that you use reference logic because that is what happened in this situation. I was spoken to in a mean manor but at the time I didn't feel anything. In my head I heard "hey who are you talking to like that" but I ignored it and left telling the person they owed me an apology next time we talk. It wasn't until much later that I started to think of how mean this person was. And how uncalled for the behavior was. I started thinking "shouldn't I have been more angry, shouldn't I have felt anger at the uncalled for meanness. But these thoughts were prompted by "logic". I could not fit my reaction at the time, into what I was thinking was a logical reaction to what was said. Or maybe I just didn't switch when the person was being mean to me. Maybe I would have had to switch in order to feel anger. So not expecting such an onslaught of meaness I didn't switch at the time but later when we go home and started to talk about, some got angry and than I felt the anger. So I wouldn't have felt it at the time if I didn't switch. But felt it later while we were disusing what happened. Weird. Why wouldn't I have switched? I was in a hurry but that doesn't usually get in the way. I did feel a little foggy when I left. I am not sure what happened.
  #9  
Old Mar 04, 2015, 12:01 AM
Anonymous48690
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Claritytoo View Post
So much of my system is based on logic. I think that is how we all got here. We had to survive so we logically did the only thing we could do to survive make others to take on what was too much. It is interesting that you use reference logic because that is what happened in this situation. I was spoken to in a mean manor but at the time I didn't feel anything. In my head I heard "hey who are you talking to like that" but I ignored it and left telling the person they owed me an apology next time we talk. It wasn't until much later that I started to think of how mean this person was. And how uncalled for the behavior was. I started thinking "shouldn't I have been more angry, shouldn't I have felt anger at the uncalled for meanness. But these thoughts were prompted by "logic". I could not fit my reaction at the time, into what I was thinking was a logical reaction to what was said. Or maybe I just didn't switch when the person was being mean to me. Maybe I would have had to switch in order to feel anger. So not expecting such an onslaught of meaness I didn't switch at the time but later when we go home and started to talk about, some got angry and than I felt the anger. So I wouldn't have felt it at the time if I didn't switch. But felt it later while we were disusing what happened. Weird. Why wouldn't I have switched? I was in a hurry but that doesn't usually get in the way. I did feel a little foggy when I left. I am not sure what happened.
I'm so almost split down the middle it's not funny. Most of me is directed by feelings and emotion. Sure some of our members are logical, but the emotional ones have ruled the roost. You say or do something, I come alive like someone instantly took over and is going to kick some butt for dissing us, like someone sprung a bear trap. I can be so wrong at times offering up damage control.

This is much more than quick to anger. We also have "mr cool logic " that you can't piss off that rarely shows up. I wouldn't read too much into this.
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