diagnostic testing

when my t was telling me about getting all the diagnostic testing done she said when we're getting tested we've got to have "me" out aka host me/"original" me and i'm like
????
no offence i have no control over that haha also many of us... don't think we're not... "me"
if that makes sense?
most all of us don't have assigned names/titles yet and so we all answer to the body's name ("our" name)
and it's so silly cause i said the leader's the leader and the leader is the part that we all want to integrate into so i'm guessing when they mean "me" they mean the leader
oh terminology
i'm just worrying about something that hasn't even happened yet~~

Terminology can be a pain in the butt. I tried to explain the leader to my T by calling it the main one and then I found out that it is referred to as the host.

Ask your T what techniques your T wants you to use to bring the leader out. I think people here refer to it as grounding techniques.

No, we can't always choose who is out either. The more stressed I am the more likely it is that the host will be off somewhere else.

Wow, that's a hard one. I've had several host alters out through out my life to fit my life at that time? I can only tell when I look back into the past. Sometimes I don't think we have a host alter, like at our present, we have an alter for everything to deal with life. We just do it.

We have a conscience sense of life direction doing what we do, just living. Maybe this is why we didn't know what to do in the 1 year of college, nobody could agree on anything?

It's usually whoever shows up to do the deal deals with it. People don't realize that they are assigned or meet a certain alter that best relates to them or according the job needed all the time which makes this illness so hard to detect. Changes are so subtle or undetectable it goes unnoticed. At least in my case it does.

We even have my family fooled.

gosh right hey people are so easily fooled (or i guess it's more that our survival mechanism is pretty intense and impenetrable or something haha who knows)
they want host/leader me but that one only comes out when it's safe (aka generally when i'm at home) definitely not at the doctors haha!
but i'm pretty sure ... lol i'm not sure of anything... i need to start journalling more
i'll probably show up on here more, i'm trying to let each part have equal rights to show them we can all work together and one of them really wants to come online...
thanks for the replies

oh but yeah talk about it going undetected because it's so hard to see from the outside and then if you tell them what's going on inside then they think you're lying or something
i've been trying to get some legit testing for a diagnosis since last summer and if i told them anything they kept insisting it was just anxiety or something
(i think i was pissing everyone off cause i have all the time on my hands and so i spent it all researching what i might have haha)
in the end i just had to pretend i didn't know what was happening at all and lead them along to the correct conclusion
sheesh

Lol exactly hun. It's easier to see it in my writing then it is to be physically dealing with it in front of them.

Makes complete sense. That's certainly how I was in the beginning. Then as time went on and we all became aware of each other, "they" either chose names or went by their roles or ages.
Terminology does get confusing. Sometimes I will say "I collective" to indicate that we all feel like "I".

Same here with the "host" changing over time and current self being whoever happens to be in front at the time.

When we were being diagnosed, years and years ago, the psychologist didnt like us much! She was trying to give us all these different tests and we were so stressed that we kept switching. So even on the same question, she would get several different answers