Hi, there.

How exactly does one get to know their alters?
I read writing helps. How does that work? What should I do? Should I encourage my alter to take over and encourage communication by telling them?
Do I prepare a notebook where they can write and wait?

How did you get to know yours?

Any tips?

Thank you for reading

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Lexa2526

Hi, there.

How exactly does one get to know their alters?
I read writing helps. How does that work? What should I do? Should I encourage my alter to take over and encourage communication by telling them?
Do I prepare a notebook where they can write and wait?

How did you get to know yours?

Any tips?

Thank you for reading

you do what ever works for you...

some people talk inside, some people write, some people have internal meeting rooms built in to their system of alters, some people buy things for their alters, some people do arts and crafts and their alters communicate through drawings, painting and other crafts ....gosh there are so many different ways people choose to communicate with their alters.

I was unable to for a majority of my alters to communicate with them due to I had limited co consciousness (how much I heard when the alters were talking, how much awareness I had of the alters and of when the alters were in control....)

treatment providers here where I am located do not encourage alters to take control and do not encourage people with DID to encourage their alters to come out or people with DID to switch into their alters because frankly here treatment provider can get arrested, lose their jobs, lose their credentials for encouraging a client to become more dissociating rather than working on grounding and becoming more stable, more focused, more control over their dissociative problems. this is because here encouraging a client to become more dissociative (calling out their alters, encouraging their alters to come out and such things) can cause a client to create false alters for the attention of their treatment providers rather than healing....a treatment provider causing a client to become more dissociatve, create false alters falls under emotional abuse, neglecting a clients well being and other crimes now here in NY.

for this reason my treatment providers and I focused more on my gaining control over my dissociative symptoms, not encouraging dissociation. dont get me wrong the alters took over control still based on what their job, purpose, reason for being was, just like they did all my life. we just didnt encourage them to do it any more than what they were created to do, to be, part of their job, purpose reason for being. my treatment provider told me if they have something to say and its part of their job, purpose, reason for being then they are going to say it regardless of what she and i do anyway, just like they have all my life. thats just part of being DID, some alters have a lot to say and others dont, some are protectors, some handle emotions, some handle specific events\situations\....but they all just do what ever their job, purpose, reason for being is and nothing she and I could do was going to change that. so we just let things happen naturally.

Hi Lexa. I guess that would all depend on the persons. I use to do automatic handwriting then someone had the suggestion of just talking. Being cocon, we are able to talk about things.

I've heard of others keeping a notebook in which each other write things down.

[Kiya]

Yeah I think I started with a journal where anybody could write in it when they wanted. Sometimes I asked questions and waited for replies. Good luck!

[Georgia Bridge]

Be berry barb bor beeb. Bumbime bey bwipe boo beeb. Wai bor bem boo baw... ben bey bont beel bupt. Bay but bunt ben. Not numb! Mart! Urt!💦.

[Ellahmae]

Originally Posted by Kiya

Yeah I think I started with a journal where anybody could write in it when they wanted. Sometimes I asked questions and waited for replies. Good luck!

I did that for the first time this weekend. I wrote a question and it was answered. It was strange. Very strange. This whole thing is strange and I hate it. Hopefully I'll get used to it at some point. I liked it better when I was in the dark about myself.

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

I did that for the first time this weekend. I wrote a question and it was answered. It was strange. Very strange. This whole thing is strange and I hate it. Hopefully I'll get used to it at some point. I liked it better when I was in the dark about myself.

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk

Right there with you! I tried it a few months ago. Freaked out and never tried again! I liked it better when I was in the dark, too.

[wantingtobecomplete]

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

I did that for the first time this weekend. I wrote a question and it was answered. It was strange. Very strange. This whole thing is strange and I hate it. Hopefully I'll get used to it at some point. I liked it better when I was in the dark about myself.

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk

Ellahmae i had to reply to ur comment coz i had a giggle when u said u liked it before when u were in the dark about it,, i felt the same! Its scary but the truth will set us free then we can be fully free to move forward. Im finding writings too with no questions even asked yet.. Im going to write a question now lol. And to reply to the original comment im finding the more i admit to myself the more im shown...im writing in journal every day trying to do at different times as well..but im finding myself looking over at a book (not my journal) with this feeling then i quickle look inside and sure enough another note.. It will happen slowly as ur ready is my guess that seems to me what is happening.

It is weird at first, the other's writings, but when acceptance from most of your others is achieved and y'all become more aware, it starts feeling normal....our kind of normal.

Since I've been fragged for 45 years, it's to be expected now.

[Shaly78]

Do things that elevate your anxiety and notice who fronts or new things (such as going to lounge, a party etc) also talking inside, journaling, listening to the content and taking notes of what each one says.

[Georgia Bridge]

I wrote a post yesterday that was a little one (I'm not sure but I think it may have been Molly... she named herself after the unsinkable Molly Brown) trying to translate what I wanted to say, i think.

Translation of translation:
It is very hard for me. Sometimes they write through me. I wait for them to talk... then they don't feel pushed.They say what they want then. Not dumb! Smart! Hurt!.💦.

Sometimes I write to them, rarely...lots of anxiety attacks when I think about writing them.
I have an alter that has been drawing through me off and on for years. I used to think it was "automatic drawing"... You know just resting your hand w/a pencil or something on a piece of paper and waiting. "Clara" showed me that it was her... not automatic drawing. Thank y'all for thanking me. I was so scared after "we" wrote that post. I didn't want to come back to the thread. 🔏.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Georgia Bridge

I wrote a post yesterday that was a little one (I'm not sure but I think it may have been Molly... she named herself after the unsinkable Molly Brown) trying to translate what I wanted to say, i think.

Translation of translation:
It is very hard for me. Sometimes they write through me. I wait for them to talk... then they don't feel pushed.They say what they want then. Not dumb! Smart! Hurt!.💦.

Sometimes I write to them, rarely...lots of anxiety attacks when I think about writing them.
I have an alter that has been drawing through me off and on for years. I used to think it was "automatic drawing"... You know just resting your hand w/a pencil or something on a piece of paper and waiting. "Clara" showed me that it was her... not automatic drawing. Thank y'all for thanking me. I was so scared after "we" wrote that post. I didn't want to come back to the thread. 🔏.

I was trying to decipher what you\your alter wrote. here in my location its very rare to encounter a child that writes all in B's then switches to normal words.

one of my nieces (aged 8) discovered the the love of starting every word with F after she heard a particular word lol until her teacher thought something was wrong (speech, language, hearing problems are associated with this kind of talk from children as is childhood schizophrenia in my location) then she stopped talking like that and went back to using normal speech and normal language skills again. so when I saw your post it intrigued and peaked my curiosity.

thats really cool that your alter named herself after the unsinkable molly brown. most very young children, rarely get any information about people like molly brown, the sinking of the titanic, and the womens rights movements, the darker times of the 1800's early 1900's that this woman was part of until they hit about 5th or 6th grade in my location. very impressive school systems you have there, I wish they worked on the histories at an earlier age here in my location. your alter must really enjoy history. you can add that to your list of what you know about this alter.

[Georgia Bridge]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

It is weird at first, the other's writings, but when acceptance from most of your others is achieved and y'all become more aware, it starts feeling normal....our kind of normal.

Since I've been fragged for 45 years, it's to be expected now.

O.K., it sounds like it might actually progress. I read about it, but it didn't really seem true... maybe it really will progress... the becoming more aware and whatever else might happen... this disorder is strange and scary. I'm 50 but the journey is still quite new.

[flockpride]

I'm pretty new to this. Dx only 1.5 years ago. We are working with parts in therapy. This gets confusing pretty quickly. I, the host at the moment, did not know there were parts until things happened in therapy. Once that happened, parts would reveal themselves to me outside of therapy. It was like therapy gave them permission to be known. It scared me. I got dizzy and faint. I did NOT go looking for it. I did some writing. I knew there were handwriting changes going way back, looking at journals. And at one point in the journals a different person gave his name and a wrote few things. I had no memory of writing that. Clearly, I had as no other person has access to the journals. It helped to ask questions and see what answers came out in the writing, which was different from part to part. Again, I did NOT look for this. It was like I noticed that it happened.

Now, I notice a bit, who is present with me by what catches my attention. It's pretty obvious. Children's toys, women's dresses, sugary cereal, liquor. It's all over the map. It always has been, apparently. My t wants me to start actively engaging other parts during the day. This is mixed. Last night I could not sleep at all and a little part started telling me things about her life all in the present tense, but referencing what I know is the past. Odd. I took notes. Progress though. Hope this helps.

All I did was start talking to them (inside) and asking questions. Then stuff started to flow. Obviously, not everything. Only what the system considers tolerable. Much is hidden. Much.

[Georgia Bridge]

Yes, it helps slot, flockpride. I was "officially" re-diagnosed with D.I.D.about 7 months or so ago. I had been diagnosed w/bipolar schizoaffective for about 20 yrs. I had had a few experiences that I knew were MPD, but no one would listen to me. I didn't know what was happening; many of the symptoms were obviously PTSD... again no diagnosis...
I've had one therapist addressing the subject who is just awful... so I quit seeing her. Haven't met new one yet. " Not a one of those things happen to me.", says self. Well a few I guess... I think that one is me.. not sure. This personality is saying " Is this really D.I.D. ? Is that what's happening?" All of life seems to be in mid-air right now. Sorry to go on and on, but y'all are all helping immensely... I know no one else w/this disorder ( very small cty. and area). They came tumbling out after diagnosis , but only while alone...it was like the diagnosis and the fact of specialized therapy validated them or something. Therapist wanted me to be an adult and process like an adult until I was alone. Eventually a "leader" came out while alone and told them to all go back inside... pronto! Therapist distrust, I think.
Then when I joined this forum some of them came out... they don't talk to me personally and I am afraid to talk to them. Story for the Littles is when that began. Thank you, Yezeenan. More helpful than you know. I'll try to stop writing on thread... taking up time from y'all. Thanks again. From: In Mid-Air.

Originally Posted by Georgia Bridge

O.K., it sounds like it might actually progress. I read about it, but it didn't really seem true... maybe it really will progress... the becoming more aware and whatever else might happen... this disorder is strange and scary. I'm 50 but the journey is still quite new.

We knew when we were 15. We just chose to ignore it. We just can't any more.

I'm an empty shell where others are the filling. If anything, the memory part sucks. Being able to communicate with your others is a good start. I'm just able too.

I don't mind the switches (others will so disagree), it's just missing memories I hate. It's so obvious to us because we know what's happening, even though quite a few of us don't care because we are used to being "absent minded" as we're often called! Lol

[Georgia Bridge]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I was trying to decipher what you\your alter wrote. here in my location its very rare to encounter a child that writes all in B's then switches to normal words.

one of my nieces (aged 8) discovered the the love of starting every word with F after she heard a particular word lol until her teacher thought something was wrong (speech, language, hearing problems are associated with this kind of talk from children as is childhood schizophrenia in my location) then she stopped talking like that and went back to using normal speech and normal language skills again. so when I saw your post it intrigued and peaked my curiosity.

thats really cool that your alter named herself after the unsinkable molly brown. most very young children, rarely get any information about people like molly brown, the sinking of the titanic, and the womens rights movements, the darker times of the 1800's early 1900's that this woman was part of until they hit about 5th or 6th grade in my location. very impressive school systems you have there, I wish they worked on the histories at an earlier age here in my location. your alter must really enjoy history. you can add that to your list of what you know about this alter.

Thanks so much for sharing that with me. I never understood the all b's thing... trying to correct the all b's physically hurts. She also uses all m's sometimes... sometimes they're all mixed up, etc. My older brother's name starts with a b, maybe that's why. I did go deaf as a toddler and wound up in a school/(living facility is more what it seems, but I don't know) for deaf and developmentally disabled kids. I could hear... then I couldn't hear ... then I could hear again. I have a (5?) year old alter who can hear and speaks sign language to herself alone in her room because no noise is allowed... it is actual American Sign Language, not a sign language she made up. She's quite good at it... the other missing deaf children are her best friends.No one has ever told me that I had been deaf so i didn't know until the memories returned when i was in my mid-late 30's. I didn't know of the all b and all m languages until quite recently. WOW! thank you so much for explaining possible reasons of the strange language, and, quite honestly, I didn't even think it was all that strange until you brought it up.
As far as Molly's name is concerned ... when I first met her she had just become aware of the existence of an historical figure named Molly McGuire. She could not stop crying because she thought that she was the only person named Molly in the whole world (she was already the unsinkable Molly Brown)!
It takes me so long to catch these things; I feel kinda stupid... Self says, " So, if she thought she was the only actual Molly ever... to her, who is the unsinkable Molly Brown?" So, I decided to Google explore and found that a movie with that name had come out the year before we were born. I did by then know she was using movie names as names becase she had named one of her few toys Rosebud (a red icepick) after what we thought was a character from an Orson Welles
movie... later we found out that Rosebud was a movie sled, not a movie person ( i'm not at all sure if that is correct information,either)... also a very upsetting discovery. Rosebud was and still is her best friend (though of course long gone)... she still cries because she is gone. I don't remember seeing the movies at all, just hearing parts of them.
I am so very happy you shared that information with me; you shed a whole new light on things! Thank You!
It is quite annoying not knowing what order the events occurred in.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Georgia Bridge

Thanks so much for sharing that with me. I never understood the all b's thing... trying to correct the all b's physically hurts. She also uses all m's sometimes... sometimes they're all mixed up, etc. My older brother's name starts with a b, maybe that's why. I did go deaf as a toddler and wound up in a school/(living facility is more what it seems, but I don't know) for deaf and developmentally disabled kids. I could hear... then I couldn't hear ... then I could hear again. I have a (5?) year old alter who can hear and speaks sign language to herself alone in her room because no noise is allowed... it is actual American Sign Language, not a sign language she made up. She's quite good at it... the other missing deaf children are her best friends.No one has ever told me that I had been deaf so i didn't know until the memories returned when i was in my mid-late 30's. I didn't know of the all b and all m languages until quite recently. WOW! thank you so much for explaining possible reasons of the strange language, and, quite honestly, I didn't even think it was all that strange until you brought it up.
As far as Molly's name is concerned ... when I first met her she had just become aware of the existence of an historical figure named Molly McGuire. She could not stop crying because she thought that she was the only person named Molly in the whole world (she was already the unsinkable Molly Brown)!
It takes me so long to catch these things; I feel kinda stupid... Self says, " So, if she thought she was the only actual Molly ever... to her, who is the unsinkable Molly Brown?" So, I decided to Google explore and found that a movie with that name had come out the year before we were born. I did by then know she was using movie names as names becase she had named one of her few toys Rosebud (a red icepick) after what we thought was a character from an Orson Welles
movie... later we found out that Rosebud was a movie sled, not a movie person ( i'm not at all sure if that is correct information,either)... also a very upsetting discovery. Rosebud was and still is her best friend (though of course long gone)... she still cries because she is gone. I don't remember seeing the movies at all, just hearing parts of them.
I am so very happy you shared that information with me; you shed a whole new light on things! Thank You!
It is quite annoying not knowing what order the events occurred in.

you are so welcome. tip the key to figuring out ones system is being curious, asking questions, searching for answers. its the building blocks in real life so I applied it to my internal life. Im glad my being curious, questioning searching for answers with me has helped and benefited you and your system too. keep up the great work you are doing.

[knit roses]

My therapist had me, Mama, write with my dominant right hand. Then using a crayon with my left hand my toddler answered. I, too, was surprised. We write each other when she wants.