[finding_my_way]

is it possible to only know/remember the others during dissociation and then slowly forgetting them/the episode after it (days or weeks)?

during dissociation (depending on the type/severity), my perception of time, self, and reality become extremely detached/strange, etc. and i can sometimes feel one of the others during it but then after the episode ends, i start to forget a lot of it, what happened, what was felt, etc.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

is it possible to only know/remember the others during dissociation and then slowly forgetting them/the episode after it (days or weeks)?

during dissociation (depending on the type/severity), my perception of time, self, and reality become extremely detached/strange, etc. and i can sometimes feel one of the others during it but then after the episode ends, i start to forget a lot of it, what happened, what was felt, etc.

here in my location knowing the others exist is called co conscious. those that I was co conscious with i knew existed with out dissociating. those that I did not know existed i was not co conscious with them even when dissociated.

I had no sense of those that I was not co conscious with even when I was dissociated. example i could sense when rainy was close by, and knew on rare occasions what rainy was saying, doing because I had some co consciousness with her. I had not tell when bear (not actual name of this alter just using this name for this example) was close by or what bear was doing or saying when bear was in control (in other words when I was dissociated and an alter was in control) because I had no co consciousness with this alter..

that said there have been times when I knew I was dissociated (numb, spaced out, disconnected) and could tell it wasnt me talking, me doing something but but because I had that much co consciousness I remembered even after I was back in full control what went on.

I have had times of stress, anxiety, and other symptoms that lead to my being dissociated but not switched into an alter, where I did not remember something that went on. the situation was just so stressful or emotionally charged that I just didnt remember it, using my grounding and other therapeutic tools helped me to focus and remember what had happened during my stress induced dissociative episode.

we can not tell you what exactly was going on with in you and why you are having this memory problem. my suggestion is that if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers, they will be able to help you to sort out whats happening, they can also help you to learn how to stay more present and limit the memory loss's for you.

[CANDC]

I am not an expert on dissociation by any means, but my gut feeling is the details of dissociation experiences dissolve and fade away in a similar way that dreams do when we wake up. What is your feeling about them?

[Shaly78]

Phases like this notebook are essential jotting down everything! Hopefully the notebook isnt forgotten time gets away easy back pedalling.

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

is it possible to only know/remember the others during dissociation and then slowly forgetting them/the episode after it (days or weeks)?

during dissociation (depending on the type/severity), my perception of time, self, and reality become extremely detached/strange, etc. and i can sometimes feel one of the others during it but then after the episode ends, i start to forget a lot of it, what happened, what was felt, etc.

What I experience hun is that the memories the other experiences goes with them. My memories stay with me, and the memories stays with the others which gives us all a really bad memory full of holes.

Same thing happens to us.

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by newday7121

Phases like this notebook are essential jotting down everything! Hopefully the notebook isnt forgotten time gets away easy back pedalling.

i cannot seem to write anything except on this forum or in a chatroom/talk to other people. i am not sure why. so, the only way i can keep track of things is to read through what i've posted. i have journals from years ago that describe some similar things as i am experiencing lately, so i also have to kind of reference that to figure some things out again.

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by CANDC

I am not an expert on dissociation by any means, but my gut feeling is the details of dissociation experiences dissolve and fade away in a similar way that dreams do when we wake up. What is your feeling about them?

that makes sense. i was used to certain types of dissociation where i kind of knew more about after it lessened. i still kind of do....but lately it has been worse. i know it's a coping mechanism..not that knowing it helps. it just leaves me very confused and trying to makes sense of it all when it might not be able to happen. all i know is....i'm kind of there during it...nothing external really happens..it's all internal and chaotic with a lot of things flying around inside my head..and then it lessens and kind of slowly takes it all with it..and at some point, the things i knew (even though i've known them before a few times) just get taken away again...memories i mean..not just random meaningless things..and it takes the feelings associated with it away too.

[flockpride]

I don't remember a lot of stuff at this point. So there is the forgetting the dissociated stuff during abuse, but then there is the super dysfunctional forgetting of normal things because the brain is wired to dissociate. That's the sucky part for me.

Sometimes during moments of internal chaos, there is no memory of what was happening then. It's like when your eyes can't focus, only this is conscious attention that can't seem to land. Frustrating.