Fragmented to the last tiniest bit.

I would like to report that it seems for every change of thought, feeling, emotion, idea,....there is an other behind it.

To answer a question from out there, this is why we delete posts a lot. We are under internal censorship I suppose, and if an other presents a differing opinion, the post is changed or deleted. At times it's like "OMG, who wrote that?". This is why most of my entries have "Last edited by AlwaysChanging2...." (See below :P).

I can't help to feel totally exhausted to the very last period. We collaborate or switch several times in a sentence as we wrangle over how to word it the way we it should to best express a thought or an idea. Like, this sentence has been edited several more times already and add-ons have been added and I've already have written several more paragraphs...pressed save...

I've been asked, "well isn't that what normal people do?"...and my reply is "yes it is, but I always feel like a different person when I do so", or another voice chimes in and makes the changes. It takes an hour to write a simple post because everyone has their own opinion. Picture everyone jumping in gang style over talking each other instead of in a civilized manner taking turns. Only on intense technical and important stuff do we behave that civilized way.

I feel like this is very extreme, we get "lost" in our day and things don't get done. Like right now, we were suppose to be gone job hunting and here I sit on here undressed doing my thing (been up since 7:30)...ooops. Yesterday a teen watched "You Tube" for 12 hours instead of us doing.

Can we make others do? No. When one presents, it's like they lock in and take over fully immersed. I can hear the head chatter but some can't. You got to literally tear them off there or wait till they let their guard down. Picture a teenager with their headphones on....yeah.

I feel like a broken person. If anyone knew what goes on upstair....

Anyways....shower then out that door.

We are succeeding today, finally. Gotta get the kid to ortho later and as described above, I concur...it's messed up.

No one of us is in charge, so it really needs to be a disability thing.

School or work? On websites like this? I'm mean yea, its a problem right? Are you seeking disability? No, one wants someone that might not make deadlines if it's work/school right? It improves though intense therapy twice a week might be helpful....

I know! I was just denied disability

We've always been self-employed, much easier to hide, but we can't do it anymore. So we are trying to find a job...not all of us is thrilled about it, quite scared actually. :/

Yea if it's self employment or paid under the table THE MAN, might not find out...Well I guess if the system is open you might get anything! lol....I'm not saying this is WHY I got approved early, but someone typed that try not to make the disabilities the worse thing ever like try not to embellish it as a 24/7 -365 days problem...Do with that what you will....

i get this. i used to think i couldn't keep up interest in something. other people said it was because I'm so talented and smart--good at too much, too many things, to commit. but that's not it. there is this inner conflict even at the level of getting dressed or ordering off a menu etc. frustrating.

LOL I *so* get this. Just picking what sandwich to buy can take forever! I dread having to pick from a menu in front of people - although my friends know now to just accept I will take a while! Have kind of gotten over the getting dressed issues, by creating a uniform. Day/ night whatever the situation, I just wear variations on a theme.

Lol, making clutch decisions under pressure is the worse. Like people waiting for your final decision and then flip flopping about 5 times in a roll. Yes...wait...No...wait...I mean yes.....wait... NO...YES!

We get overwhelmed w day to day tasks, from that lack of being able to make decisions because of too much input. One of our most commom complaints is that it can take anything up to 2 hrs to stack - just stack - the dishwasher. Let alone sort clothes for the laundry to be done, deciding on making tea, or what room to vacuum first. As a consequence, alot doesnt get done at all, much to the angst of my husband. My mother helps me sometimes, but she has stopped as she thinks shes enabling me to have a dirty household and to be 'lazy'. If only they had the constant debating going on in their head. Glad you guys here understand.