[scar12346]

How do you even explain an in-system relationship to people who don't even believe that you have DID???
I just get carried away and talk about her as if she is another person and when my "friends" ask to see her I always think that it's a joke, but it isn't! And then I'm scared to say "Well she is within the system" because people will laugh at me. What do I do in this situation? Step forward and come out or just hide in and pretend like it never happen?

Wow....first off, after all of family laughed at me...I pretty much keep it to myself, so I really wouldn't know what to do in a situation that I immediately doubt that I'd ever be in, but...

First off, they think we're crazy to even be talking like that to begin with, so anything coming out of the mouth is going to be laughed at anyways, so it sounds like it doesn't matter what anyone says because anyway you look at it, it's a no win situation.

Just tell em, "well...she don't want to see you!" (Of course I like to color things up a bit)

[pegasus]

Yes it is very difficult to explain to people. Have a look through this >>> Resources for Trauma, Dissociation, and Treatment Maybe if your friends are truly interested or confused you can show them a link on the internet.

[amandalouise]

scar you are 15 years old according to your profile right...something you may not know...you cant force people to believe the same things you do. some people are going to not believe you and some people are, just like if you told someone you have a million dollars. someone is going to believe you and someone else is going to not believe you. just the way life is.

the trick to handling something like is is not to tell everyone you meet and are in your life that you have DID. the only people that need to know you have a mental disorder is your parents if you are still living at home and your doctors. and in this case it would be the doctors job to tell your parents. problem solved. they can think all they want but its what the doctor is saying not you.

and in the event that a doctor hasnt diagnosed you, well its no wonder people may not believe you. in some cultures and countries things like this are not believed until an actual diagnosis has been done. its horrible I know but thats how things are in some cultures and locations.

my suggestion is let them be, so what no one believes you, you cant make them believe you so you will only be fighting a losing battle. if I was 15 and no one believed me on something I would not be telling people about it. I would instead be talking to my parents saying things like I feel something isnt right can you get me in to see my doctor. and instead of talking about hey doctor I think I have DID. talk about your symptoms and problems without putting a label on it. the psychiatrist gives you a bunch of tests then tells your parents what the diagnosis is.

your friends reaction is normal for teen agers. most teen agers do not have the availability and contact with diagnostic manuals that tell about mental disorders. teen age years are all about questioning, peer pressure and who will tell the biggest stories to impress their friends.

having DID isnt something most teen agers know about and tell all their friends about. usually when a teen ager is telling they have a mental disorder or a health problem its seen as an attention getter rather than truth with friends. I know it shouldnt be this way but thats how a teen agers brain functions.. be in the in crowd or be larger than life to be accepted.

my suggestion is maybe giving it a break on how much you tell your friends. keep the big disclosures about health issues with your doctors and parents. maybe this will help settle things down with your friends.

[peaches100]

I don't tell anybody. The only ones who know are my husband and therapist. I would not tell anybody else either because most people don't understand anything about dissociation and think that everybody with DID is like Sybil or is totally crazy, or worse.

[Shaly78]

Please find a way to refrain how your speaking in plurals for your own safety. That is what I would do. It is really sad, because I denied and basically thought it was no big deal about being plural, but as soon as I got online to discuss and embrace DID and PTSD I got a plethora of situations like this....People in passing would ask who will stay with you where will this one stay, what will this one eat, who works where who is scared who is anxious. That only drove me to learn names and used them, but then it went even further to well are you a criminal now people with DID getting off with insanity pleas no one can keep up with all the names in public is your life divided with your alters name in everything you do like openly, which is a stupid question and assumption knowing there is only one social security number connected to one name, the only thing that changes in marriage is the last name on the social security card. It was very conniving and embarrassing. In my personal story, it was just another way to blame someone that was ignorant to what it even means to have DID. If you explain make sure you do it for the right reason so that singular people understand. We are not that different from a singular mind is what I subscribe to if not then people will want you to assess them, like we are in to diagnoses or something.

Kinda of like in the United States of Tara season 1 where the town seems to have know what she was and embarrassed her during that fight at her sons school. How could everyone stand back and let her switch like that!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by newday7121

Please find a way to refrain how your speaking in plurals for your own safety. That is what I would do. It is really sad, because I denied and basically thought it was no big deal about being plural, but as soon as I got online to discuss and embrace DID and PTSD I got a plethora of situations like this....People in passing would ask who will stay with you where will this one stay, what will this one eat, who works where who is scared who is anxious. That only drove me to learn names and used them, but then it went even further to well are you a criminal now people with DID getting off with insanity pleas no one can keep up with all the names in public is your life divided with your alters name in everything you do like openly, which is a stupid question and assumption knowing there is only one social security number connected to one name, the only thing that changes in marriage is the last name on the social security card. It was very conniving and embarrassing. In my personal story, it was just another way to blame someone that was ignorant to what it even means to have DID. If you explain make sure you do it for the right reason so that singular people understand. We are not that different from a singular mind is what I subscribe to if not then people will want you to assess them, like we are in to diagnoses or something.

Kinda of like in the United States of Tara season 1 where the town seems to have know what she was and embarrassed her during that fight at her sons school. How could everyone stand back and let her switch like that!

the tv series did that because it is a comedy show not meant to be taken as a representative of the disorder in the literal sense. the show purposely takes pot shots and uses humor thats what the show is.

but I do agree that its better in general for people to be very selective on who and what they tell about their mental disorders. Here in America there are privacy laws so that no one needs to know anyones mental health issues unless the patient chooses to tell others that are not their treatment providers.

in general when a person tells about their mental health issues its pretty much expected that the reaction can be negative or positive. Even the best of friends may not accept a person has a mental disorder. I go according to the saying you cant control others you can only control your self.

I did tell some people but it was an as need to know standard, for example I needed some time off after witnessing a crime because I had severe PTSD around the problem. in order to get the time off I needed I had to disclose to my boss that I had some mental issues to deal with.

my parents obviously knew because they were part of prosecuting my abusers when I was a child and the system placed me in mental health treatment.

I told my wife only a short time before we moved in together as partners. I felt she did not need to know until we reached that point. when we made plans to move in together as a couple thats when I sat down with her and explained things and invited her to attend some therapy sessions with me so that she could get all her questions answered and be comfortable before we actually made that move in decision.

my other friends well some know some do not, some will never know. I am very selective on who and what I tell people. I mean its right up there with who I discuss my sex life with , i dont just go around telling everyone about my private life.