Why

How come if I have a part that wants to drink, but we all agree that drinking too much is not good for the body or for the medication we take, this part still wants to drink. I don't get that. The part knows that drinking too often could become a problem for us because of our family history. And that sometimes drinking causes us to have feelings of anger and depression. I don't understand why if the part knows this. Why does the part want to drink? When I just asked I got a no explanation just that it is none of my business what he wants to do. What kind of a response is that?

Lucidity, perhaps you did not like the answer of telling you NO you cannot drink, so you refuse the explanation of why. We do that as avoidance tactics to refuse the truth so that we subconciously can continue to do what we know we should not do and not feel quilty about it. the only thing you can do is not do what you should not do and then you will accept you cannot do what it is you are not suppose to do. i hope this helps and dont drink over it cause it really isnt worth it.

This is why it took us forever to quit drinking, drugging, and smoking. It just takes one to get us drunk even if the rest of us wants to quit. It's like trying to convince a bar room of drinkers to quit drinking, it takes awhile.

Some of our others are teens that want to party; some still are living the hurt of abuse; some don't want to quit; some don't think that they are that bad; some rather be dead; some don't want to remember; some are still locked in a lifestyle;...

It took a year of extreme misery for the desire to quit to filter down through the ranks, and a lot of *****ing, pleading, and crying from the rest of us.

It can be done, but like an AA support system, we have to have an inner support system, also. What a novel thought....I need to go back to meetings.

The coolest part is, if you add up every alters sobriety, you can get a year coin in no time!

Oh I so know what you are going through. Honestly is better to get no response than "Because I can, I am the oldest, I do what I want" Everyone in the system knows how bad drinking and drugs can get for us. The paranoia and depression heighten and it gives the littles anxiety. -Scar
Your part is doing it because he/she/they want something to be in control with. Thou this is not the reason that I am doing it, it sure might be the reason that they are doing so. Give them a job. A hobby, some time for them. Wear something that they would want. It might also be connected with your past. Maybe that part is born a drunk, like me. If so, don't fight them. Explain to them how much it is important for you to not get that drunk. Maybe next time give them regulations on how much they can drink. It's entirely to you what you do. -Waidth

I can have a glass of wine or a beer and be done with it. This part is younger, maybe in the teens. The other day he/she wanted to have a glass of wine. All day he/she was thinking about getting home and having wine with dinner. When we got home, I walked past the refrigerator and suddenly he/she opened the door grabbed the wine bottle and drank out of it. I haven't drank out of a wine bottle since I was in my teens. The desire was deep and driven. Without a thought he/she opened the refridgator and drank the wine. That feeling of desire and control frighten me. It is a feeling I would sometimes have regarding sex. (years ago). This feeling of needing to have the drink that moment and acting on it. We talked among-est ourselves stating how disturbing that action was and how we don't want to be out of control. It was a feeling I thought I had resolved. I actually avoid dating because I am concerned that sex would set off this feeling. If we are all better off not drinking, doing drugs and having indiscriminate sex than why can this part understand that? Why try to pull us back into the dark.

Not every part is a good one and not every part will be there to protect you. Same issue, different theme with Noah. He would do everything just to make sure Scar will be in pain, therefore we will all be in pain. For the longest time ever (well about 2 years but it didn't feel like that) we've struggled with keeping Noah away from Scar. We tried so hard but each time he would slip and do something bad. Try to find a part that is willing to talk with him/her. Maybe a stronger or an older part will do. Maybe a little, who knows. If that doesn't work tell your strongest part to keep him/her away as much as possible. Block their way. It might sound hard at first but if a 6 year old could do it, everyone can. Hang in there!
-Evee

I don't see my parts as bad. Some do things that are bad for us or would seem bad from outsiders but they were original created to protect. that is how I see them. That each one is a part of me or another part and that they were created by the original and later by other parts to protect us from physical and mental pain. There is were I have a hard time understanding why a part would hurt the body or us now that they know we are a system. And that we need to work together to keep us safe. He/she knows that becoming dependent on alcohol would drown us. Why would he/she want to drown us after we have all worked so hard to function in the world. To have a close to "normal" life. It feels like the order of things is becoming undone.

Alcohol is a harsh theme for half of the system, but what I can advise you is to talk it out with that part. Maybe he/she doesn't fully understand the system part? Or maybe he/she is rebelling against something. Maybe there is another part forcing him/her? Talk it out with them. Explain them what DID actually means. Explain to them that what they do is not correct and should have limits. Then again you know your system the best. When Waidth started drinking it was because they found peace in the alcohol. They found PEACE in the alcohol... And they didn't fully realize what harm they were doing until Evee explained it to them. In our system talking is key to success. Except with Noah.. If you feel that this part is protecting instead of harming then talk it out with them. If you have a therapist you might also want to share about it with him/her as well.
-Vladimir