Okay, we have more than one other that swears that they are the host and tries forcing themselves in as numero uno by taking over and not letting go. These others are well rounded with much life experiences. A few even resorts to bully techniques that are ogerish in nature (the guys). The one dimensional others don't care because they are just fragments...and most of them know it or aren't aware.

I know by experience that the feel for others eventually fade away to the point that it all seems surreal after awhile, then you wake up gone or triggered out.

We basically powwow in the conscience, but whoever is presenting has the louder voice and final say which causes problems. We seldom confer out of bounds.

Anyone else have similar issues with their others? And have a good idea in handling such?

[scar12346]

Well while we don't fight (yeah sure Wai, talk about not fighting -Scar) (Shut up you have no voice right now -Wai) (Yup.. we don't fight.. who would think that -Vlad) ...I'm not deleting this..
Let me start over.
While we don't fight AS MUCH, as we did BEFORE, we are 3 hosts. I don't know why people think that there should be just one host. If we had just one host it will be a war field here (not like it isn't -Scar) But before we got to all go to an agreement that we shall all host it was hard.
Me and Scar were in a constant fight of who was taking decisions the right way and who was wrong. We had a recorder of who was out the most and that one would be the host. It was impossible to do things because we all "knew the best for the body" in the end we have come to the conclusion that no body knows the best. Soo three hosts it is. -Wai
Oh because that helped so much Wai...
I think the best thing you all can do is work as a team. It will be hard in the beginning and most probably there will be fights. But assign everyone to something. Okay no.. wait, wrong. Don't assign no one cus that will make things worst I don't know how to explain it so I will just tell you what we do. Each one of us comes out at different time during the day of course by asking the one who is out (probably Scar) so the one who is usually out should be the one who the others trust the most. The others should also be able to stay near he/she so that they can follow along. They give their advices, requests and so on but not talk without permission. Then you should have the "bond", in our case that's me. The bond has the job to keep the hosts together. So if they fight the bond has the job to make them stop. How many bonds you have is based on your system. If you have more alters who want to be hosts then you should have more bonds. Of course the bond can go out and interact outside as well, they are just as much as a host. And for final you have the protector host. This one should be trusted with coming out whenever they think it's very urgent. That is Waidth. Sometimes it's not a full "out" it's just controlling legs or a hand or mouth or something.. So for instance, Scar cannot keep his balance and he slips and falls, therefore Waidth will make a connection with the hands and protect the body's head. Or if he cannot connect fast enough, he will absorb the pain. Next one that you can have is the "sponge" once again that is to Waidth or sometimes me. The sponge should be very very balanced and strong. This host will absorb the feelings that the main host doesn't want to feel, or the sponge feels like they will be a trigger. So when Scar was going out with this asshole (excuse the faulty language) Waidth absorbed all the bad feeling when the ***** decided to see her sex buddy which Scar only said that he was okay with because he was scared that she will leave him.. anyway, that is the role of the sponge. And so on. I think you get our point. Have another small system of just hosts. I think this helped us. There is the main system, the inner system and the outer one which are the hosts. But we do work in a team very well. -Vladimir.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Okay, we have more than one other that swears that they are the host and tries forcing themselves in as numero uno by taking over and not letting go. These others are well rounded with much life experiences. A few even resorts to bully techniques that are ogerish in nature (the guys). The one dimensional others don't care because they are just fragments...and most of them know it or aren't aware.

I know by experience that the feel for others eventually fade away to the point that it all seems surreal after awhile, then you wake up gone or triggered out.

We basically powwow in the conscience, but whoever is presenting has the louder voice and final say which causes problems. We seldom confer out of bounds.

Anyone else have similar issues with their others? And have a good idea in handling such?

sorry but my system was one where none of the alters were host. they took control according to what their jobs, reasons for being created were. your past posts reflect that you too have a system where your alters are trigger related and that they take over according to what their purposes, jobs, reasons for being created are. maybe instead of fighting each other you can go back to what has worked in the past...each alter taking control based on what their jobs, purposes, reasons for being created are. by doing this maybe the who is host problem will just naturally work itself out...no one necessarily has to be the one in charge, the one who is in control of the body 100%of the time. I know many people who do not have an alter who is host.

Originally Posted by scar12346

Well while we don't fight (yeah sure Wai, talk about not fighting -Scar) (Shut up you have no voice right now -Wai) (Yup.. we don't fight.. who would think that -Vlad) ...I'm not deleting this..
Let me start over.
While we don't fight AS MUCH, as we did BEFORE, we are 3 hosts. I don't know why people think that there should be just one host. If we had just one host it will be a war field here (not like it isn't -Scar) But before we got to all go to an agreement that we shall all host it was hard.
Me and Scar were in a constant fight of who was taking decisions the right way and who was wrong. We had a recorder of who was out the most and that one would be the host. It was impossible to do things because we all "knew the best for the body" in the end we have come to the conclusion that no body knows the best. Soo three hosts it is. -Wai
Oh because that helped so much Wai...
I think the best thing you all can do is work as a team. It will be hard in the beginning and most probably there will be fights. But assign everyone to something. Okay no.. wait, wrong. Don't assign no one cus that will make things worst I don't know how to explain it so I will just tell you what we do. Each one of us comes out at different time during the day of course by asking the one who is out (probably Scar) so the one who is usually out should be the one who the others trust the most. The others should also be able to stay near he/she so that they can follow along. They give their advices, requests and so on but not talk without permission. Then you should have the "bond", in our case that's me. The bond has the job to keep the hosts together. So if they fight the bond has the job to make them stop. How many bonds you have is based on your system. If you have more alters who want to be hosts then you should have more bonds. Of course the bond can go out and interact outside as well, they are just as much as a host. And for final you have the protector host. This one should be trusted with coming out whenever they think it's very urgent. That is Waidth. Sometimes it's not a full "out" it's just controlling legs or a hand or mouth or something.. So for instance, Scar cannot keep his balance and he slips and falls, therefore Waidth will make a connection with the hands and protect the body's head. Or if he cannot connect fast enough, he will absorb the pain. Next one that you can have is the "sponge" once again that is to Waidth or sometimes me. The sponge should be very very balanced and strong. This host will absorb the feelings that the main host doesn't want to feel, or the sponge feels like they will be a trigger. So when Scar was going out with this asshole (excuse the faulty language) Waidth absorbed all the bad feeling when the ***** decided to see her sex buddy which Scar only said that he was okay with because he was scared that she will leave him.. anyway, that is the role of the sponge. And so on. I think you get our point. Have another small system of just hosts. I think this helped us. There is the main system, the inner system and the outer one which are the hosts. But we do work in a team very well. -Vladimir.

Thanks yeah, we just have some strong personalities in here that feel that they are it, some borderline or total narcissus. When they present they are full of themselves and think that they are all that denying that they are just part of a system like everyone else to do a job. What can one do? Nothing. Just got to let them run their selves and not worry about the rest I guess.

I just would like everyone to get along and be nice to each other, mutual respect all around. I won't bring any of this up anymore.

[Shaly78]

I don't see anything wrong with that. I believe you have to be your loudest coach even if it is an alter. Narcissist I think are just self absorbed, if I didn't know any better I would think my ex-husband is a narcissist. I don't think there is anything wrong with thinking highly when this alter is out are influencing. I'm just a big proponent of positivity and the world and our system has a lot negativity so kudos to that. There are only a few instances where this can be negative, since you have a system it might be next to impossible to have that alter running your life.... Some people prove it then all you can say is give em credit they talk a good game...It might take a while but if this is your best bet make this one your host are your strongest alter ......I'm not saying this is all of what narcissist are.

Oh they are definetly self-absorbed....so much that they can't see me, but I can see them. Besides, if they were representative of us...God help us.

There are words that describe them I won't say here! Lol

honestly, we're not sure who the host is anymore

natalie likes to think she is, but hmm. a lot of the littles are scared of her- and other more protective alters try to stop her from fronting (and protect the littles)

Nobody in us can qualify as host because we are all limited by our job purpose. We/I can feel walls and missing parts of me like emotions I can't access...I can't express happiness, love, sadness, etc. because that's not my job.

So anyone thinking that they are host is just full of themselves. No one of us can fully function as a complete/semi-complete person.

Sad but true.