[Lost_in_the_woods]

We are broken. Everyone we have ever tried to trust has hurt us, blamed us and left us. Is it all or any of our faults? Idk... My SO, soon to be ex I feel, told me that everybody hurts us because we make them. That it's no one's fault but us and it will always keep happening. I was the strong one... I never allowed myself to love. I had to protect everyone from the world. I was fun carefree probably the most functional... met him long ago.. tried hard to fight myself from wanting to be with him.. it was no use and then my counter part, she loved him too. Our fate was sealed. Now decades later, I don't reconcile him. My sister is beyond broken she can't take anymore pain. I cant even console her cuz we have been cut off from each other for yrs now...but her pain and sorrow reverberates thru out every realm. Idk what to do anymore. I know I should end it. The majority is angry and wants vengeance. My half sister is the dragonslayer... she says she will do it for me... but it is my love and my problem to deal with. But I'm not the same as I used to be. And I don't understand why he turned on us. He is treating us as badly as everyone else had, but keeps saying he loves us or me? Says he still wants a life with us.. but doesn't show love or concern anymore. I look at him and see indifference. I always have been desired, pursued, wanted or straight up hated. I don't understand indifference. Nobody has a ever ignored me before! He says that's not true, I'm just being too demanding... but I know that reading verbal and non verbal cues has,always been a strength of mine as has being able to shrug it off and move on...but now I can't summon that 2nd strength. What do we do?? And how do I even really know what's true? I don'tknow what the others have done or not... I don't even always trust or believe what they rely... Are we truly unlovable? ~♦

[lucidity11]

I realized when I was very young that all that mattered was we loved each other and didn't hurt each other. When we did hurt each other it was not directed at us it was usually the result of behavior by one of us. You are lovable. You saved yourself because you are smart and strong I think being loved by someone else comes when we truly themselves. I love us. I am proud of what we have accomplished despite the abuse. Love yourself, see your strengths, and goodness, and you will see that you are lovable. I think we all tend to focus too much on the negative when usually there is more positive. No matter how small there is more positive. Feel better.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

We are broken.

People are like nuts; you can't get to the good stuff till they are broken.

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

Are we truly unlovable? ~♦

No. Very little of what passes for love in the world is truly love. Very few are actually able to love. Love cannot be destroyed, it doesn't fade with time, it won't tire. If someone claimed they loved you and now they don't - they were mistaken, they never loved you in the first place.

[Fuzzybear]

I agree with the post about love, it doesn't fade, wither or any of those things. Many times it takes people a lifetime to learn what love actually is
So no, you're not unlovable

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

We are broken. Everyone we have ever tried to trust has hurt us, blamed us and left us. Is it all or any of our faults? Idk... My SO, soon to be ex I feel, told me that everybody hurts us because we make them. That it's no one's fault but us and it will always keep happening. I was the strong one... I never allowed myself to love. I had to protect everyone from the world. I was fun carefree probably the most functional... met him long ago.. tried hard to fight myself from wanting to be with him.. it was no use and then my counter part, she loved him too. Our fate was sealed. Now decades later, I don't reconcile him. My sister is beyond broken she can't take anymore pain. I cant even console her cuz we have been cut off from each other for yrs now...but her pain and sorrow reverberates thru out every realm. Idk what to do anymore. I know I should end it. The majority is angry and wants vengeance. My half sister is the dragonslayer... she says she will do it for me... but it is my love and my problem to deal with. But I'm not the same as I used to be. And I don't understand why he turned on us. He is treating us as badly as everyone else had, but keeps saying he loves us or me? Says he still wants a life with us.. but doesn't show love or concern anymore. I look at him and see indifference. I always have been desired, pursued, wanted or straight up hated. I don't understand indifference. Nobody has a ever ignored me before! He says that's not true, I'm just being too demanding... but I know that reading verbal and non verbal cues has,always been a strength of mine as has being able to shrug it off and move on...but now I can't summon that 2nd strength. What do we do?? And how do I even really know what's true? I don'tknow what the others have done or not... I don't even always trust or believe what they rely... Are we truly unlovable? ~♦

You are not unlovable. Clearly he loved you and most still does. Have you tried couples counseling. Sometimes it helps each person to express there thoughts and feelings in a structured setting. I hope you start to feel better.

I skimmed your original post and this is my 2 bits because I'm fixing to divorce for the fourth time.

Yes and no.

Behind my one that loved is a bunch of unloving ones. I get hit with "why did we marry her? The *****"... and so on non stop. We have more haters then supporters like 100 to 1.

I truly feel that I'm totally like non-relationship lke, or even a one night stander.

It is what it is. Whatever.

Thats just me/us, just go okay.

[Shaly78]

Take back your power even with words. I don't think you make people hurt you, love you . The next relationship get to know them enough know what you need and want first so that isn't a issue and require what is important because you never going to find the perfect mate.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Thanx 4 all the support guys n gals I think my SO n us r gonna be ok. We been thru a few really rough yrs n he had a bad break earlier this yr. Somethings but the way he acts is different now.. some might never be the same, but we've all been there in sure. There's still a lot of healing and understanding happening long process. Got so used to him being our rock even tho he always had his own stuff but then his stuff jus changed nobody saw it coming maybe ♡.. she is Co conscious w/ Dr. B. and understands all the psych stuff best. Me, when ppl act suspicious I think the worst.. guess cuz my original prime function was the protector, so I I aways on high alert for ppl hurting us in someway. I don't love easy. Our SO is only the 2nd person I can say I have ever truly been in love w/ the other was my 1st GF in highschol. I thought I left a lot of that baggage behind yrs ago but it never really goes away...but yeah in general, family, friends, exes, I've always been the one mostly to bear the front seat to all the mean awful stuff and generally have jus repeatedly been told we're jus not loveable, not worth the trouble.. I know I don't bear it all alone ♡ feels it deep to, but she's real quick to love and breaks easy. I am more jus worn down and this is the first relationship that when stuff gets bad actually hits me deep. I hate feeling weak like that. ~ ♦

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Wtf..why is my diamond emoji black on this phone?