questions: dissociative disorders version

Merry Christmas to you, TR. Enjoy your day with your boys.

question:

are their any christmas movies/ tv shows on today that you want to see.

Christmas Vacation.

My favorite part is the squirrel.

What is your wish for the New Year?

I have a couple.
1. That I can find a way to be successful in my studies.
2. That I can find a way to be successful in my new and very demanding role at work.
3. I am not the part of us that deals with parenting, but I wish that we can also find a way to be a better parent as well.
4. That I can find a way to balance study, work and parenting with the need for therapy, which is taking priority over all else at the moment.
5. Hmm, I know selfish to have so many wishes, but I do have one more: That DT doesn't find a way to bring the world to war.

Question for the next person:
What are you most hopeful about?

that our mental health manager toyah will be able to suggest other means of support (and continue to support us herself, too)

do you currently have anyone in your life who is causing you issues?, (someone you need to cut ties with)

Yes. Yes there are people that cause me issues and I need to cut ties with them.

I don't know how. I don't know how to value myself enough and decide that I am worth better.

Actually I just recently came to the decision that I don't like myself very much at all. I question strongly, whether my brokenness can be fixed. It's hard to see it from where I'm looking right now.

I normally consider myself a positive person, but this last blow was about all I want to take.

So. What do you do, when you figure out there are people who need to just go away? How do you do that?

((((trail runner))))

we all love you here!

now to the question...

just ignore them. don't talk to them, don't hang out with them, don't even acknowledge them.

they'll get the message eventually

are you religious?

I was religious until my former spiritual leader emotionally attacked me. That was two years ago. It initiated the breakdown that lead me here, and in my current situation. I've learned a lot about myself and have found a great T, who I think finally gets me. So there is a good outcome. I don't feel the same way about religion anymore though.

I'll repeat the question about wishes for the new year.

I guess my only wish for the new year is to feel better than I am now and that my life has some sort of purpose.
what were some good parts of 2016

There were four good things for me in 2016. In order that they happened:
1. Getting back in contact with ex t. We had a skype session. I hadn't seen her for nearly 10 years.
2. Moving house. Our old house was awful and bad things happened there.
3. My DID friend contacting me. We hadn't seen each other for it turns out nearly 20 years!
4. Finding our new T. We really like her and she is really good.

There was not a single thing else that happened this year that was good. It was a horrible horrible horrible year. But those four things all came because of that horrible stuff, and those four things were really good.

What were some good parts of 2016 for the next person?

those are some good things indeed

hmm, good parts of 2016

finally watching all episodes of united states of tara

having the meetings with the protection place about our family and their plans to make us leave the country (so hopefully that's all sorted now and we won't hear from our family)

discovering a new christmas song (once apon a christmas song)

the end of summer (as it was far too hot)

do you prefer the term, " alters", or "insiders"

Insiders. Or parts. Or others.

What is your most prized possession?

Things are just things, you know...but there is this one thing, and I'm a bit embarrassed to say it even anonymously on a forum but here goes:

There's a stuffed animal that I sat down and talked to for fifteen minutes every night for thirty nights back a quarter of a century ago. I was trying to start a dialogue with a little alter who I knew was there but there had never been any co-consciousness. We broke through on the thirtieth day. We knew the stuffed animal wasn't her - but didn't know where to focus our conversation internally so having something external gave us something to focus on. Ever since then, she has come to think of that stuffie as the personification of her - a body she could imagine her own.

We know it isn't her per se, but we both have a lot invested in that idea and it brought us together - so it means an awful lot to both of us. Steal my car...I might just watch you drive off because really, it's just a thing and people are more important than things...but touch that stuffed animal and I don't trust what I would do.

What is your dream job?

That is the most awesome response ever.
we have one little part who has been very badly triggered by the stuff that happened this year, but we haven't had the time or space of safety to get to her and help her yet. We felt the need to get something to help her in some way and we were drawn to a certain idea that we spent many hours looking for all over town. We eventually found it - a soft toy hedgehog that can curl up and stay curled up. it has been curled up in a ball since we got it and if we ever come close to uncurling it we just know it is the wrong thing to do. We sleep with it at night to keep it safe.
The little one has been much more contained since we got it. Next year when we get back we will take it to therapy sometime and find a way to uncurl it with t.

My dream job is helping people like me. That's why I'm in college.

What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but haven't yet?

visit disneyland. I think it would be fun.

have you watched, "the 3 faces of eve?"

Nope. but I have watched Sybil (both versions) and the untied states of tara.
Have you ever milked a cow?
(I know, random, I'm sorry)

I have not ever milked a cow. I have fed a squirrel with an eye dropper though. (I like random too!)

Are you planning to say up to see the New Year in?

we will be up because we are always up at that time. But we will be avoiding any reference to celebrations with noise cancelling head phones and course work. We do not celebrate anything.

I have never ever seen a live squirrel before. But I have fed baby birds and baby hedgehogs before

How many pets do you have?

I have a real inside pet. Bella is a miniature schnauzer who is beyond rotten. She thinks she's a person. In reality she is. She has outside friends



They play chase and she acts so bad when we are outside with her. She's so lame when we aren't outside. She secretly hangs out with them.

I feel something good coming for the New Year, something I can't put my thoughts on just yet. Do you, and do you know what it is?

Woah woah woah stop the bus - from your description I can't tell if Bella is a real indoor pet or a real inSIDE pet!

Yep something good is coming. In a couple of days we go away to a soothing relaxing beautiful peaceful place to stay for two whole months. There is hard stressful stuff there too but there is so much good. We hope our soul will be reinspired and find new life for the coming year. We hope hope hope.

What is one thing you won't miss about 2016?

Bella is a real life indoor schnauzer. . The squirrel in the picture is on our back deck. She plays chase with the squirrels in our back yard. It's fun to watch them!!

I'm so glad you are getting away to a peaceful place! I hope you are inspired and rejuvenated for the up coming year. You will be missed greatly!

The one thing I won't miss about 2016 is - 2016!! 2017 is hopefully going to be a better year. I truly have that hope!

What is one thing from 2016 that you will take with you into 2017?

Hopefully my selves. Yup. I hope they'll come. And the new T.
Looks like it's all about relationships, baby.

Do you live near the ocean?

Before I moved to this state I lived here:



It was seven miles from the ocean. Now I live about 300 miles from the ocean but we live a half mile from here:



Can you swim?

Did you live in that cabin? it is lovely. The place we are going to is like that with lots of little cabins in the bush. And with bigger lodges and stuff too.
We miss you yagr.

I can swim and will swim lots when we are away. The pool has a waterslide and I like to go down it. It has a slackrope across the pool and I like to try to stand up on it. Some of the adults get embarassed when I do that cause they think I make the body look silly. Luce is embarrassed now cause I am writing this.

We you embarrass each other a lot? ever on purpose??