questions: dissociative disorders version

or in my case, (if it's a little), offer them a ride on the bouncy kangaroo

it always works!. i'm not sure if it's the annoying song, or the "boing boing boing" sound, but it always works.

what has been the biggist change in your life since tyour diagnoses

My Rockstar☆☆ is gone.... don't know if he's coming back this time....I think he seriously doesn't want me anymore...and he has always hated dealing with all of us...we F'd things up royally this time. I don't want a divorce...just want my Rockstar☆☆back ....(he was the only person I ever truly trusted.)
~S.

does anyone have any goals for the new year

Damn S! Pull it together sister! That boy turned you into a freaking pansy! You used to be a freaking Queen! Now look at your sorry arse...what a Waste! Snap outta it! All this whining and crying has gotta stop!! He was a freaking A-HOLE!! I vetted him myself! You should have left his sorry arse forever ago. I did my job now stand up and do yours S!! I'm not playing. I will lock your arse in and run this boat myself if I have to!! I'm drawing a line. Step the F up or if you want to continue being a sorry puddle then Let Me Lead! I'm not sorry at all. Truth hurts sometimes S. ¤H.Q.

Sorry. Didn't realize this was a question thing. Goals for the New Year....Get this boat running smoothly again. Get us out of this funk and back into the world. A job would be ideal to start with. Wish us luck¤H.Q.



Do you work? if so what do you do?

hey,

yeah this thread is a rather cool thread where someone asks a question, then ext person answers, and asks a new one

we don't work

stacy likes to think she works as a therapist, but no we stay at home
did you struggle through school?

Yes and no. Didn't go to high school, then whipped through a four year hs program in nine months, took 13 years to get bachelor's degree, and then 3 for masters. I didn't understand until recently that the d id was a contributing factor. Too many interests, too few coping skills, and a lot of unexplained, untreated meltdowns.

Do any of your family of origin know your diagnosis? (If so...what was their response like?)

it's why our family won't talk to us, because they don't believe in mental/ physical health, so as soon as they found out they kicked us out.

it's a subject I don't dwell on.. family is a trigger for me
do you see a time where you'll be happy and stable

Thank you Luce for the video. It is inspiring me to unedited journaling. If I can connect on that parts level, not on mine, maybe understanding will happen.

Thank you really! It did open my mind.

Sorry to interrupt the flow here. Just wanted to say thank you.

ETA typo

There is a "time" in my mind that I imagine, when there will be contentment that the past is the past and cannot be rewritten, it can't be fixed and I can't go back and have what I did not have. I do long for that. A part of me "imagines" a time when that will be a reality.

Of the people you have chosen to share your dissociativeness with, have you ever had someone disagree with you? Have you had someone tell you that what you experience is not real?

most deffenetly.

how much time loss is typical for you in 1 week?

I have no idea. I experience the majority of my time loss as an inability to remember rather than an abrupt shift in time and space.

Are you doing anything pleasant on Christmas day?

That is mostly how it happens for me too. I don't realize what has happened, and I'm not really sure anything has happened until a bit later, then it comes back to me in pieces and I'm questioning whether it really happened or not. I spend quite a bit of time in a very anxious place trying to fit the pieces together and figure out what happened.

There has been one time that I lost time and was aware of it right after it happened. To me, that is more disorienting than it happening and me piecing it together after the fact.

This year we are having a family Christmas here at our home. It's going to be different this year because we are not making the rounds and being at everyone else's house.

It was hard for me to tell my mom what we are doing this year because I've always done what was expected of me. But. I did it!!

So this Christmas it will be us. My babies that I love so much. The grand dogs. The new inlaws. I am hoping it will be as wonderful as I'm imagining it to be.

Do you have a part of you that feels very young and old at the same time? Not maturity wise. A part that feels like it's een here a long time, but still feels young too. I guess a young old soul?

hmm

unless you count the lady who owns the body, not really

but she does feel like she's been here for ages and is tired of stuff, but she has a fun young side too

will you eat christmas turkey this year?

we have ham for christmas dinner, with maple sugar instead of gravy.

what's the best present you ever got?

Maple sugar sounds so yummy!! I prefer ham over turkey too! We like to smoke them on the grill with pineapple and brown sugar.

The best present I ever got was from my boys. It wasn't for any occasion it was a random gift from their heart.

We had a concession trailer when they were younger and we had it at a festival one weekend. I was trying to make snow-cones fast enough to keep up with the demand. It was hit that day. The boys were running around to the different booths at the festival and kept coming and asking me for money. After several trips, they came back and wanted more, stressed out I lost my temper with them and told them no.

I saw them talking to their dad and I figured he gave them the money they wanted. He's a push over when it comes to them and it made me angry because they had gotten enough money from me and I told them no.

After the festival, I was cleaning up the sticky mess from the syrup drippings, and the boys, and their dad, walked up with a box in their hands and gave it to me.

I opened it up and it was a decorative wall plaque. It was beautiful! It IS beautiful!! They knew how much I love outside and the flowers and birds. It was a heart shape entwined with flowers and a hummingbird. Their dad told me that they wanted to the money earlier to buy it for me. My heart melted, I felt horrible about how I had snapped at them. It is something I will keep always.



Do you believe in Santa Clause?

The best present was when we was a kid still. Another kid who we didn't even know well heard it was our birthday and gave us the bag of candy she had just bought for herself from the store. And said "Happy birthday"!! it made us cry that a kid we hardly even knew would do that for us.

Santa Claus no. we just don't like anything about Christmas or birthdays much at all. but that one present was a good thing.

Are you gonna give someone a present?

That is so beautiful Luce. That is Christmas. My heart feels it for you, and if it's ok, with you.

Santa Clause, I believe, is about love given to someone who is in need. Needs are different for any person. That was a memorable gift that you remember. Santa comes in many different forms and persons. You were blessed.

I am going to give a present. To my babies, it will be a Christmas here at home, without having to make the rounds. I pray it's a good day and that there are many new memories made.

To my mom, it will be a present of my learning boundaries. It probably won't be a nice gift to her, but it will be a gift of something to me that I've not known.

Do you believe Rudolph really has a red nose?

I suppose he must. Perhaps he has a bioluminescent staph infection or something.

Do you switch a lot - as in frequently - or only every now and then ? I guess I am asking do you slip and slide around each other all over the place or are your switches more discrete and clear cut?

that sounds scary!!

You make my heart laugh!!

I've only talked/seen one therapist/counselor and it's been .. I think about 3ish years. Not really sure. Your question made my answer kind of hazy.

Didn't ask a question.

Do you like fruitcake?

Luce. I just went back and reread your question. Sorry I missed it.

Much on my mind and a bit of self meds. I hate this. I don't want to be this person.

I want to go to be at 10 o'clock and wake up at 6, start my day and be good. Right? !!

Sorry. I am going to bed.

Switching. ? I'm still trying to figure that out. I do know when it happens, no one knows but me after the fact.

Too late for a question. Night.

not a fan of fruit cake (any cake)

are you finding you have enough support over christmas?

No. I don't feel like I am finding enough support for this Christmas. My family is delighted that I stood up to my mom and told her that we were doing Christmas here, and not attending the traditional Christmas Trail Roast complete with an over abundance of negativity and bewilderment, of how I could possibly be a part of this family. They are happy for the fact that are not required to attend this year. I don't think they have any idea what the decision is doing to me internally.

I'm sure they can still roast me whether I'm present or not.

I hope that it will be a good Christmas here and I can let it go. I have a tendency to focus on the guilt, and let it take me away. I want to stay around and enjoy my family here.

Do you ever wonder how in the world you could be part of the family you were born to?

ETA. I wanted to add that I'm very thankful for the support I find here. Sorry for my rambling last night. I let myself get pulled into one of those places. ((( hug )))

(((HUGS)))
Good for you Trailrunner for standing up to your mom! It takes a lot of courage to break away from "family expectations " especially during the holidays! Roast Beast is the best!
And yes we wonder all the time how we ended up with our family! They have never understood us, protected us, or even liked us as far as I can tell It's hard especially when you see other people you know who's families would do anything for each other...makes me jealous

If Christmas miracles are real...what would be yours?