dissociative symptoms but not did

hi all. i just need some support and validation (if it's possible) in some of the symptoms i experience. i don't have did, i've never lost time, but i spend a lot of time floating around not really landing in a solid sense of self or a strong feeling of self or of a solid "I". does that make sense to anybody? it's as if i can't really land and feel whole and i feel fragmented and distant a lot. it's really uncomfortable. i don't think i'm doing a very good job of describing it. i've been in therapy for about 15+ years now and have had a therapist and psychiatrist the entire time. i only recently (last fall) went on riperdal and that seems to help the "splitting" feeling i get inside. it gets so isolating feeling to feel to "cut off" from myself. can anyone relate to this?? any support would be greatly appreciated. thanks for taking the time to read this.
susan

Hi Susan27-- welcome to PC.

Yes, I can relate to this. There are different types of dissociation, and it sounds like you're describing depersonalization.

Derealization is a similar term to depersonalization, and the two are often used interchangeably. However, more specifically, derealization is the feeling that "nothing is real," while depersonalization is the feeling that one is literally "detached" from one's body or world.

There is more info on the web, even support forums specifically for these disorders.

Hope this helps a little.

Petunia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization

thank you petunia. i'm so tired of living with this and so freaked out that no one ever knows what i'm talking about and it just gets so exhausting and upsetting. thanks for responding

Well, you've come to the right place. Lots of us "get it."

Me Too!!

I'm new here and I really do understand what you mean. I have been having a problem the last year or so feeling like I was watching myself in a movie. I have been so frightened of this and told NOBODY cause I really believed I was going off the deep-end. Felt I couldn't tell my DH cause I have had Major Depressive episodes that have put me in hospital and I'm afraid he'll get fed up.

Several months ago, I had this "movie" experience and watched myself cut myself. Anyway, finally told my therapist and at least I now have an idea of what is happening. Or at least a word for it.

No words to describe how out-of-control this makes me feel. Never know when it's going to happen.

thanks to all of you for responding. i feel so isolated and alone in all of this. i am frustrated cuz i have no friends and i'm not even sure why except for the fact that i'm oftentimes in withdrawl and over the years have lost touch with any friends i had or might have had. it gets unbearingly lonely to suffer with this stuff. thanks again. at least i feel a small sense of connection through you answers.

I too experience the feeling you are describing, at least it seems to be similar.
You are definetly not alone!

(((((((((((susan)))))))))
Sending my thoughts your way.

Hey. Did any docotr tell ya anything at all about how you feeling? Man, when I dissociate no tell who comes around just as long as I'm not feeling the real crap, you know? nona