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#1
Oct 04, 2016, 03:40 PM
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what the **** happend everything I know is gone, everything i had is gone. what the **** am I doing here. my dog needs to take a ****. i guess that is what I am doing here. it's not enough. it all gone and i know I should start over but not as me not again. its all ********
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 Anonymous48690, catman8989, Luce, Out There, ruh roh
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#2
Oct 04, 2016, 04:06 PM
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Hug.
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#3
Oct 04, 2016, 04:49 PM
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Take deep breaths, Lucidity. I don't know what has happened, but it will be okay. It will come back.
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#4
Oct 04, 2016, 08:00 PM
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Quote:
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| Anonymous48690, elevatedsoul, just2b, Out There
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 just2b
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#5
Oct 04, 2016, 08:43 PM
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i know what you mean...
the everlasting waking life... exist between plains of existence... is it to dream? or is it to life? im sorry...
__________________
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| Out There
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#6
Oct 04, 2016, 09:20 PM
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Quote:
May I just sit with you and say that I understand in a way. Not in the exact, same way as you, but what you said sure hits home with me too! I don't want to burden you with why I say that I understand. If it's a comfort, please know that I'm here with you. May I share this? Your realization, and mine (in the process of coming to light) is not a door shutting. I know - it probably doesn't feel like that right now. It doesn't really feel like that for me either. But. There is a part of me that believes that. Really wants to believe it. And. I would like to believe it for you too. If that's ok.
__________________
"What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
| Out There
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#7
Oct 05, 2016, 07:16 AM
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Thanks for your kind thoughts.
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#8
Oct 05, 2016, 07:18 AM
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I do have this question. Who the hell am I? Will I slowly fall back into the fog that has been my life for at least the last ten years. Right now I am ****ing furious. And what about my parts. Am I a part?????? I don't fking know. I am ****ing furious.
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#9
Oct 05, 2016, 02:25 PM
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I understand what you are saying. I also think that I understand your anger.
I've found myself wondering, "When am I going to feel OK again?" "When will I feel normal again?" You described it very truthfully to me. "Will I slowly fall back into the fog that has been my life for at least the last ten years." I feel that way with you. My fog has been my whole life. I'm feeling pretty pissed off myself!! Maybe this is a good place to be. I've never been ok or felt safe being pissed off about anything. It was not ok and I've never experienced the feeling of it the way I am now. I'm angry because of the fog of my life. I'm angry that I've come to this point of realizing it. Like you, I find myself wondering, "Who the hell am I?" It's hard for me to hang on to "me" and know it's "me" and not a part of me too. I'm not really sure right now who that person is. I do know that I can't go back. It's strange that a part of me looks back with some feeling of wanting to go back to what I thought was normal, but I can't after what I've walked through this far. That also makes me really pissed!!! Maybe if I just let the anger out, all of it, and quit trying to push it down or ignore it, maybe that would - I don't know. I don't know what it would do actually. It sounds freeing in some way. Honest. Almost strong. This place that I've come to is a hard place, and I do want to believe that it's a place of something new. Forgive the rambling. You have been in my thoughts today. I hope you are feeling better.
__________________
"What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
| Out There
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#10
Oct 05, 2016, 02:50 PM
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I know this and its difficult.
__________________
"Trauma happens - so does healing " |
| TrailRunner14
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#11
Oct 06, 2016, 05:36 PM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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