Coexisting - dissociation or DID?

I was wondering how "our" run was today.

I hope this is in line with your topic. Last week I went on a pack trip. Instead of riding my horse, I rode my daughter's. For the last 30 or so years, I have been riding a breed that is short and stocky. Daughter's horse is a Thoroughbred (as in former race horse). He is very like the horse that I had when I was a teen. Same breed, same size, same feel, same color. Very much longer legs, back, neck, stride than my horse. So as I was riding him along the trail, I noticed that Natalie (the teen, who owned the horse) was present. Not taking over, but definitely speaking up. And thinking that she was pretty cool to be able to manage the horse. And I just let myself feel all cool and powerful and in charge and full of myself. But I wasn't dissociated. T says that is a good thing-she described it as feeling the energy of the part without switching. It felt pretty good. I didn't lose any time and Natalie had fun. So maybe what you are experiencing is part of co-consciousness? In other words, what you are feeling sounds like progress. I hope it is!

Yes, my Ts have said that different handwriting is different parts and to just let them do their thing when journaling and see what they have to say. That makes it sound so normal. It doesn't always feel very normal.

You've described our basic paradigm. There are two of us and we call our experience co-conscious. There are times that we are not, but it is few and far between these days. I just spent two days and three nights in the hospital, my lil disappeared during that time. The moment we got out she knocked us so far to the back of the bus that we missed some stuff. But like I said, it's rare these days. Back to our bus description:

You described the idea as being a passenger. We see it more or less the same way. Our home is a bus. Most of the time, I'm driving. Sometimes my little is sitting on my lap, sometimes she's in the seat behind me. Sometimes she's three seats behind me and occasionally she retreats to the back of the bus where she can no longer see through the windshield.

Obviously, when she is sitting on my lap, she's going to see everything out the windshield that I do. If she's a seat back, she'll miss a little bit but still catch most of it. Three seats back and she misses more - much further back than that and she has no idea what's happening outside the windshield. The situation can reverse, with me retreating as well, but it doesn't happen that often these days...though it could, she is an awesome driver.

Anyway, even if I am sitting right next to her, if she's got her hands on the steering wheel instead of me. There is no way I can correct our course as fast as if I am holding the steering wheel. I have to get back in the drivers seat first and that takes time. The further back I go in the bus, the longer it takes me to get back to the wheel.

So yeah, most of the time we have a choice who is driving at some level, but until we reach the wheel we're powerless to do anything.

omg...I posted without reading all the other responses. I almost never do that but honestly, I was a little scared to be judged for description of my experience. I know it's different than many peoples and I didn't want to feel like I didn't belong. But then I read the co-conscious article on page two and her Hope's description was almost exactly like mine above. I didn't know I needed that validation till it came. Thank you for the link!

"Our" run today was sunshiny and breezy. Dragonflies and the smell of the woods.

Thank you!

Your description of you riding the horse reminds me of who I am when I go to my trail. Not sure how to explain it, but I'm free, much like your description of being powerful and in charge.

There was an event that created "the runner" and for a while, I would "go away" when I went on a run. It was an escape. Now it seems that it may be a more "blending" as I've worked through it. Me there, but maybe not 100%. For me, that ok for now. I did lose time before when I ran, but I think it's getting better.

I'm so glad you had the experience you shared. It feels amazing, I would think, to feel both at one time! That sounds like a picture in my mind when the "12 year old, pissed off" part of me took my hand. There was a feeling of "OK" I'm with you.

The word "co-conscious" was my ticket!! So trying to understand and validate what I felt and knew/experienced. I'm so glad it helped you too!!

When I read Hope's description I almost feel out of my chair!! . My counselor likes to use a "boat" and every part of me in the boat. That is everybody working together to keep it balanced. It has always felt more like "me" to picture "all of me" in my Pilot. I "me" am driving and there's a part of me (right now the Runner) in the passenger seat beside me. There are 3 parts of me in the back seat and a couple in the very back.

I have described that to him and THERE it was. And, here is yours!! Thank you for describing yours. It is helping me piece together how it happens (the wheel getting hijacked) and I'm seeing it more clearly!

I'm sorry you were in the hospital! I hope you are well!

I am beyond thrilled to both be of help and to find someone with a system that so closely mirrors mine in concept.

Couple of heart attacks and heart surgery...but yeah, okay now. Thank you.

There is comfort in company!

So glad your surgery went well and you are in the mend!

((( hug back )))