[TrailRunner14]

Can I just say, if one more person asks me when I think I can just lay this down and move on...... I don't have actual words to describe the anger and reaction that I want to address.

If you share a moment that was more then you could handle and you are stuck there, trying to deal with it and try to explain/share (I hate that phrase!) Share.

Share sounds like being comfortable enough with someone to relate with them what you are experiencing in that moment. Forgive me. Didn't look up the definition. That is my definition.

To have what you have "shared" that is hurtful and wounding, thrown back at you with the comment of "when do you think you can just put this down and be ok? It's been 4 years!!"

There are not enough adjectives or mental curse words to explain what my thoughts are.

PLEASE!! PLEASE!!

Internal anger!! Raging!!

So sorry!! Had to vent. That person felt satisfied enough to go to bed and be ok. I want to set something on fire!!!

Not really, but that is what the anger feels like!!

Thank you for hearing me.

[TrailRunner14]

So. I posted this and now I feel like a whiny kid. An angry one. I was going to delete it but decided not to.

I'm pissed and really don't know what to do with it.

Just saying.

[Luce]

Good on you for not deleting it. That takes courage sometimes.
Not all emotions are pretty, but they are all real.

This is your truth and you're sticking to it (on more levels than one, it seems!) Good for you.

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

So. I posted this and now I feel like a whiny kid. An angry one. I was going to delete it but decided not to.

I'm pissed and really don't know what to do with it.

Just saying.

it's what this forum is here for, to listen to you and support you.

glad you kept it on the site

((((((hugs))))

[elevatedsoul]

God do i hate it when people tell me things like that;
or to be invalidated by my dad when he says things like "I had to suffer my whole life too"
or things of that nature like what i went through wasn't anything bad - because he didnt experience what i experienced yet they make it seem like what i went through wasnt so bad;

wait, i almost died several times, thats not bad? beat all the time? didnt have good parents i could get comfort from? hmmm... assholes

[finding_my_way]

story of my life when people say things like that. i cannot tell you how many times i've been told the past is the past, let it go and move on, just don't think about it, think positive, do this, this, or this to help yourself, and other things that completely minimize my feelings and experiences.

i have also had things i struggled with called phases or told i only had them because i watched too much on TV or read too much online. nope. none of it was/is a phase.

i now just roll my eyes if people say ignorant things and try to remind myself they haven't lived my life and aren't in my head so can't possibly understand...so i try to forgive them for their ignorance and keep focusing on what i need to do for myself and overall mental health.

[TrailRunner14]

Thank you all for validating my feelings here. Thank you too for hearing my rant.

My appt with my counselor is this evening, in 3 hours to be exact.

In the state of mind I was in, I emailed him at 11:00 that night. I vaguely remember sending it. Friday morning it came back to me a while after I got up. I felt like an idiot. His reply was very understanding and that helped my feelings. I emailed him back and broadly explained what happened and asked him to forgive me for sending the email. He is really great and I don't think that he thinks anything bad about it, I hope not, but I'm embarrassed.

Please wish me courage. I want to be "all there" and not let this trigger me. I can't seem to get my thoughts together.

[ruh roh]

Wishing you well for today and onward.

(fwiw, I've sent long rants to my therapist and she says, rant away, it's fine. Sometimes, it just helps to get things out.)

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Wishing you well for today and onward.

(fwiw, I've sent long rants to my therapist and she says, rant away, it's fine. Sometimes, it just helps to get things out.)

Thank you!! You encourage me!!

[elevatedsoul]

ive heard about a lot of people emailing their Ts...

are they private practices..?
or is it just the therapists discretion..?
think im going to ask mine tomorow if i can email her...

i asked one before but they said it was against the rules...

hope all is well...

[TrailRunner14]

Thank you ES!

[Aardwolf]

It takes every ounce of my self control not to give them a good hard whack when someone says similar things. I get the feeling, oh i really do. To top it off, it's not like i'm a bloody minded person anyway !

One foot in front of the other...

[yagr]

When asked,

When do you think you'll be getting over this?"

I respond,

I'm guessing somewhere around the average amount of time for this sort of thing.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

It takes every ounce of my self control not to give them a good hard whack when someone says similar things. I get the feeling, oh i really do. To top it off, it's not like i'm a bloody minded person anyway !


One foot in front of the other...

Thank you! I agree. There is something in me that makes me so angry when they say that! I truly want to hit them and I am in no way a violent person. It certainly stirs something inside of me though.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by yagr

When asked,


I respond,

Thank you Yagr!

You are so factual and to the point. I admire that. I wish I was more that way sometimes. It would be nice to know how long the "normal time" is.

It is what it is and the more I'm asked that question, the shorter my fuse is getting to not erupt externally instead of internally.

[TrailRunner14]

Ok. It's late and I truly need to go to bed. My time with my counselor was forward time. No Explication. It was good.

Thank you for your words!

I wanted to share this. It's in my ears and I was thinking about y'all. I hope it encourages you as you have me! Thank you!

[elevatedsoul]

[TrailRunner14]

Forgive me ES if I offended you. Music encourages me very much and it was just my heart to share the song with whoever would like to hear it.