Re:diagnosis

Does anyone else sometimes get confused or shocked at "learning" you have a dissociative disorder?

I know I've had the diagnosis for several years now, but I still sometimes go through a period of "forgetting" I have it. Most recently, I was thrown off in session on Monday when t referenced if. For some reason I thought it was something just I believed, not something she agreed with. I thought it was a self-diagnosis, though I couldn't tell you why I thought that in the moment; I didn't think it had basis in reality.

Similar stuff has happened a few times over the years. Once I called t in a panic asking if she also thought I fit the diagnosis for what was at the time ddnos (current t at the time had brought it up). She was really good about it and explained that she agreed I did, why she agreed, then asked if I remembered talking about it with her in the past. I didn't... another time I was talking to a pdoc about history, and he mentioned seeing dissociative disorder in my records. I was shocked and confused. I told him I knew I was forgetful at times, but didn't think I fit a dissociative diagnosis. He kinda just nodded and moved on. Apparently we had tasked about it several weeks prior.

So... is it normal to freak out about this diagnosis over and over again? I feel like it keeps happening, but I should know it by now.

only you and your own treatment providers can say whether this is normal and part of you having dissociative disorders..

in me when I fell into times of not believing or holding false beliefs in regards to my mental disorders it was called selective forgetting, denial and delusional beliefs, MS (A physical health problem) depending upon other accompanying symptoms/problems.

my suggestion to find out if this is your normal contact your (or a) treatment provider in your location. they will be able to answer your question as it relates directly to you and your problems.

Thankfully my treatment providers have never felt the need to slap a label on every single experience I have. Yes, I too 'forget' I have a dissociative disorder a lot and like with you, when this happens my ts have just acknowledged my experience and moved on (or engaged with it a little more, depending on what felt appropriate in the moment).
But yeah - it happens a lot and seems to be a normal part of the dissociative experience.

Ever since i was five i knew something was wrong with me. for many years i thought maybe i was schizophnic. i was
relieved, but not at all surprised, to get diagnosed DID.

this reminds me of something that still kind of confuses me to this day. i started seeing my current psychiatrist in 2003. i don't recall way back then what all i said to her or if i mentioned dissociation and other parts. for years, i was scared to say anything about the others to her for fear she wouldn't believe me. but when going through a few records i had from her (not sure why i had them), in one letter to another doctor, it mentioned possible DID in 2003. when i read that, it shocked me because i still have no idea how she came to that conclusion, and over these last few years i did not say much to her about the others and she didn't outright ask me either because she wanted me to tell her when i was ready, if ever.

when i finally did start talking about the others to her, i was freaked out and still thought she wouldn't believe me because i somehow forgot she already knew even without knowing much about the others. it still is so strange to me. and it still is weird for me to talk about the others with her, but it has also been a relief because i don't have to censor myself anymore and can say whatever without it confusing either of us since i worked so hard to try to keep things together and hidden...or so i thought...i don't know. i sometimes still feel like i won't be believed or maybe she'll think i am making it up...but so far that hasn't happened...

It's such a disconcerting feeling to forget something like that... my t has asked my at times if I was aware of the diagnosis, but the times I remember her asking were all times I was aware of it.

I can totally relate to being worried about telling t something only to find out later she already knew because I had mentioned it while dissociated.