false memories

how do you know your trauma memories are real? i keep assuming mine aren't because i can't prove them and dont fully trust my alters right now. also any way that you learned to trust them?

here in america the therapy approach is that it really doesnt matter if the memories are literally real. its more about how the brain stores memories... memories now dont have to be "real" they can also be a brain conjured \ false memory built on an emotion\ feeling. let me show you what I mean..

I have a memory of jumping out of an air plane. this memory has all the elements of reality... the plane is real, I found it in an air plane encyclopedia, the location in this memory is real, the people in this memory are people from my life. problem I never jumped out of an air plane and never even had the opportunity to jump out of this air plane. so why do I have this memory... it holds my fear of heights. it is my brains way of dealing with being afraid of high places. the feelings in this memory are real.

many people have false memories that embody their emotions/ feelings. its actually quite normal to have memories that are not literally real in the physical sense but are real in the emotional sense.

many people also have false memories from hearing stories that is part of their family history, what we see on tv and all kinds of things. this is completely normal...

so in my location my treatment provider focuses on the emotion, people and events of that memory rather than whether its a real one or not.

I struggle with that concept a lot. The only time they ever feel real are when I'm having flashbacks or remembering them in a dissociated state. It makes me question their validity... along the lines of what amandalouise said, unless you are trying to prosecute for the abuse, whether or not they are real doesn't really make much of a difference for therapy. T and I focus on how I'm dealing with the images in my head, and how to heal from them, even if they are exaggerated or stories.

thanks guys. this makes me feel a little better. im not alone in my fear that my memories are not real; and even if they are not real they are still worth working through. thank you <3

Its hard to know eh. We have gone from belief to utter disbelief so many times. And through so many years.
It shard right now because ex t is sharing info with new t and some of the info she wants to share with her is not real. I only want to deal with real stuff. not the crazy stuff. I am so tired. How on earth can you tell what is real or not? Yea I think it matters. wasting life on stuff that isn't real matters. But I don't know how to tell the real stuff from the not real stuff. I don't wanna be no crazy person.

that sounds really difficult. i could see why that's hard to handle, can you tell your ex t you only want certain things shared?

im just annoyed because i think some of the alters are from false memories and i dont understand how that even happens but i can't believe all they say happened has actually happened. its so much stuff.

There was a case of a mental health professional using hypnosis to plant false memories in a female patient. This happened up in New England somewhere. The professional lost his license but he did it to make a point that memories can be planted using hypnosis.

You have heard of the "False memory syndrome" group of mental health professionals. These are the people who refuse to admit that dissociation is real.

Dr. Colin Ross talks about this. He only uses hypnosis as a last resort. He also has other mental health professionals present when hypnotizing a patient and I believe he video or audio tapes the session so the patient can hear the dialog. If you, as a patient with a dissociative disorder, ever choose to be put under hypnosis for your therapy, make sure that the therapist is as professional as Dr. Ross.

The human brain is the most complicated system that scientists have found in the Universe! The brains of us with a dissociative disorder are even more complicated.

Hi!

Since we don't really have memories....we get flashbacks which are real because experience dictates so. Now what we call "false memories" tend to come out of dreams.

Watching dreams of Others can make it seem so real....but the give away is feel....if it doesn't feel real...it's probably not true.

For all the flash backs....I can feel that they are real. The fakes tend to raise red flags...for us that is.

My earliest "true memories" are from my teenage yrs. I do not share consciousness with any of the childhood parts.. nor would I think I would care to. The only memories I have of our childhood are from family stories linked with pictures and/or occasions. These types of "false memories" once learned become part of our collective knowledge pool. Something that helps use with timeline consistencies. I suppose this is a system function that evolved for our overall protection?

Dissociation and trauma memories are so tricky to figure out. Ex T had a whole lot of old stuff written by us that included lists and writings about alters and memories of horrific abuse that we no longer believe is true. Mixed in amongst it all are more typical abuse memories that are infinitely more believable.
The problem is that none of it feels real to me. I 'know' of it. It doesn't feel real to me in any sense of the word. It does feel real to these alters, though. The ones that say the 'normal' stuff happened and the ones that say the extreme stuff happened. To them it all feels real.
I don't know how to sort it out. I just don't believe it. It doesn't seem plausible at all. I really don't want to work on stuff that isn't real.
Anyway, I didn't let ex T share all of the info with new T, because I don't think it would have helped, and it certainly might have freaked new T out enough to not want to work with us any more.

I don't know what happened to us when we were little to make us so fragmented. But I get these awful indescribable feelings every once in a while. And random flashes of incoherent images wi th that feeling sometimes too. I don't know what happened but those feelings are indescribably intense..so never doubted tha whatt where and when ever it was that they ripple out from..100% certain that it is connected to a very true very very traumatic awful very early memory. but the fact that it's so well buried i guess is a testament to how well our systems really do in fact work! Despite all the bull that comes with it!
Other later compounding traumas I know about..or at least some... but still there is a strong barrier of protection there! Because while I did on the front lines personally live thru some of our traumas, I have almost always found that I have no true emotional memories or wounds. They are just factual accounts...like any other boring event. I know they are true memories because I can remember every tiny detail down to the pile of the carpet or what have you... but I do always feel a tinge of sadness and guilt because I understand why I hold no emotions to these events...because somewhere inside there is other part (s) that absorbed the worst of it for me, hidden deep living with that pain alone!! ... and that's what makes me cry... because there are parts that were willing to jump in front of a bullet for us! (figuratively ) sorry if that is triggering to anyone :/ .....whatever this craziness that we have is...it is selfless.....

If it's real for part of you, doesn't that make it worth working on? Just a thought....

That is what I try to do. There is some cognitive dissonance to work through there. Like, when the inner ones come forward I accept them as true. I accept their stories and experiences, because I feel and know that it is their truth. I know they are not lying.
So in those moments it's all good.
But.
That stuff did not happen to me. It is not possible for it to be a part of my story.
I accept both of these positions as personal truth.

I was skyping with my DID friend the other night about this very topic. Her front ANP feels the same way about it as me. At least that helps me to know that this cognitive dissonance about trauma memories is a real 'thing' in DID. Because I KNOW my friend's experience was real, even if she doesn't.
I see the whole picture of her and her alters. My ANP friend, like me, only fully sees hers.