Mourning... and scared of pdoc..

I am in mourning.... forever plus a day...

I am so sad for all the events that happened in my life to make me DID..

The pdoc.. scared me to death.. he did this.. so that he could effect a switch... I did not appreciate that.. even if it was effective.. it was NOT fair.. Now.. that "moment is frozen in time, his face, my reaction (protecting my face- because I was hit alot by my ex husband)"... no more safe place..

Everytime I see him.. monthly.. he asks me.. "and doesn't THAT.. make you angry" and I say "no, why".. I still don't know why I should be angry...

I am not mourning being DID - that is ok with me.. finally.

Does no one care? Does no one understand?Does no one "get it"?

(((((((freewill))))))
I definately can understand why you would be sad at many of the events in your life. I hope you can feel safe here. Sending you my support.

Thank you....so much...

(((((((((( Freewill )))))))))))

T took away your safe place to help you heal and grow and in a way, that was totally unfair. We who have been abused need to have a safe place. I'm so sorry for your pain.

Hugs,

Jan

I'm so sorry that happened freewill. There are other ways of witnessing that without deliberately scaring people. It may take longer, but it would have felt safer for you. It happens to me a lot, but never intentionally. I can't even imagine the fear and trust issues this brings forth. I hope you will be able to move past this soon. Please take care.

as far as i know, no one cares, no one understands except those who've been and are in this place we are in.
it stinks big time, but that is what i have found.
no one gives a *****
and no one even cares to TRY and understand.
vicki

I decided I hate the world.. and my pdoc..

(((((freewill)))))
that's a big broad statement--that you hate the world. sometimes i find that making a list of things i hate--specifically---helps to sort things out. what is it that you hate and upsets you so much??

we get mad at our T alot. she often doesn't listen or even have a clue of things. then our ajna will write to her specifics. she's the only one who can do that for us. then WI usually discusses things with her to set her straight or work it out or whatever.

your pdoc did something that scared and upset you. he needs to be told and he needs to know how you are dealing with it--and so does your T. otherwise nothing will get resolved.

you can do it.
Prism