[Amyjay]

I have been in therapy since early this year. During this time I was diagnosed with severe PTSD and dissociative identity disorder. Sometimes that doesn't feel right or real AT ALL. I feel so confused right now and don't know why I am writing this post or what I want. Does anyone else ever feel this way? That their diagnosis is all wrong and they don't have DID at all? I don't know why I ever imagined I did or why my T or psychiatrist ever thought I did too. How did they get it so wrong? The diagnostic report says it was a result of catastrophic abuse but it all feels so WRONG. I can't believe I was abused. I don't believe I was abused. Why do I sometimes think that I was? Why do I sometimes SAY I was? Does anyone else do this? I just don't understand me and my life!!!

[TrailRunner14]

Yes. I do understand.

Im in that place right now and about to go find my safe place and go to sleep.

Warm hug to you.

[Amyjay]

Derp.

And then I was just thinking about posting on another thread in another forum about the source of this particular being's attachment issues being the life-long abusiveness of the parental units (but didn't post) and then came to this forum to find this post right here.

Well hello there, DID!

I understand really well.

[dlantern]

Goals, symptoms are a good idea to know for therapy. If you think it is too dangerous to involve urself in pick in your brain. I 'd say go with that feeling it can ultimately lead to disability and other distressing things to heal from. It is always a choice to continue in therapy not because a diagnoses tells you too. Identify the problem continual is what I'm getting at not just a bunch of it is not true. It is one of those things you got find ways to share other thiings until safe to understand the definitions.

[Loose Screw x 2]

I've experienced some of what you are dealing with, Amyjay. I to did not believe for a very long time that I had ever been abused. I knew that I had had really bad experiences but, didn't know for a long time what was really going on. In fact I am still finding things out and discovering stuff about myself/selves that I'd never really thought of before but, sometimes it's like that for me because I have a racing mind which sometimes distracts me from the obvious. Saying

Possible trigger:

"life-long abusiveness of the parental units" tripped my trigger but, it's cool. I'm not pissed at you. I'm more like an intense, sullen mood then anything else. Sort of like the original but, not the happy sort. But, it's okay in a way because I know how to behave myself online.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by MavriforceK9r

I've experienced some of what you are dealing with, Amyjay. I to did not believe for a very long time that I had ever been abused. I knew that I had had really bad experiences but, didn't know for a long time what was really going on. In fact I am still finding things out and discovering stuff about myself/selves that I'd never really thought of before but, sometimes it's like that for me because I have a racing mind which sometimes distracts me from the obvious. Saying

Possible trigger:

"life-long abusiveness of the parental units" tripped my trigger but, it's cool. I'm not pissed at you. I'm more like an intense, sullen mood then anything else. Sort of like the original but, not the happy sort. But, it's okay in a way because I know how to behave myself online.

Hi there, thanks for your response. Sorry you can relate to some of the things I am going through. Sorry because that means you've had more than your fair share of crap too.
About being triggered... None of us really know what anyone else's triggers are, they will be different for every person based on their own history etc, so it is really important for each person to be able to be responsible about taking care of themselves on these forums. There are some things that can be expected to be triggering for many people and it is always good to put those in a trigger box. But it is pretty much impossible to know what will or won't trigger another person so you will stumble across them here from time to time that's for sure. It's great that you can calm things down and do what you need to do for you when you come across a trigger. Good to know you know how to behave online too. Welcome.

[Loose Screw x 2]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Hi there, thanks for your response. Sorry you can relate to some of the things I am going through. Sorry because that means you've had more than your fair share of crap too.
About being triggered... None of us really know what anyone else's triggers are, they will be different for every person based on their own history etc, so it is really important for each person to be able to be responsible about taking care of themselves on these forums. There are some things that can be expected to be triggering for many people and it is always good to put those in a trigger box. But it is pretty much impossible to know what will or won't trigger another person so you will stumble across them here from time to time that's for sure. It's great that you can calm things down and do what you need to do for you when you come across a trigger. Good to know you know how to behave online too. Welcome.

Thank you for the advice and kind words. I didn't always behave online in the past but, I/We have come a long way from that. I now know why I behaved that way and what triggered it.

Possible trigger:

I once got into it with another person with problems on an adult forum that ended badly and really stirred things up in my head then years later got in to it with a narcissistic "self proclaimed" sociopath and his clique on a video game forum which ended with me being traumatized after they all ganged up on me. Normally I could have just left but, I had bought games from one of the clique members before I found out what those people were like and was awaiting delivery so, I had to be nice to them while they were abusing me and silently holding the incomplete transaction over my head.

The end result was that I left that forum in a very damaged state, ended up hating a particular video game system that I'd loved collecting for for over 20 years and didn't start using forums again until this year. That was about five years ago. That's how bad it was for me and within the last two months I've started using forums again because facebook just isn't enough for me anymore. Sorry for the long-winded post. Just had to get that out.
So as not to derail the original topic I will shut up now. I hope that someone else comes in here who can help you to find the answers that you are looking for.

[L.P.]

Yep. Been there done that, probably will again. This stuff seems to come and go with me.

-Avery