questions: dissociative disorders version #2

Also I found out how to be real again: I didn't know I was in a bad situation last week. I got out of the situation finally and now I'm real. I'm sorry I caused a questions thread crisis.

Anyway, what's your favorite thing to cook?

I just love to cook in general, but my favourite things to make are sauce and stews. I used to want to be a chef and be the saucier (if I couldn't be the head chef!)

What makes you excited?

1 of the things that make me excited are dogs.

I'll see a dog out my window, or i'll hear a dog bark and i'll be like.. it's a doggy!. it's a doggy!. it's not a toy doggy, it's not a pretend doggy, it's a real doggy that goes woof woof and everything!. later i'm like.. calm down, it's only a dog. I think a lot of it comes from never having a dog myself, and just seeing it makes me excited

the other thing is the post!. I love when the post arives, mainly because it usually means I get some more food or drink, or a cd i've been wanting from amazon for a while,.

oh yeah, a third thing is pirates. I just love them

question: how much of your life is based on rooteen, and how much is based on just doing what ever when you want to do it?

Probably 50% routine. I'm a freelancer which is what makes that possible.

I like it but sometimes the not having a set schedule thing makes me feel jumbly and confused. It makes it easy for me to get into a situation where I lose time.

When you are feeling sick, what is your favorite thing to do to make yourself more comfortable?

lie in bed, in a nice position with a bowl or something next to me

then if I feel sick, I can just pick it up and do what I need to do, then put it down

I find when I feel sick, 1 of the absolute don't doos is walk long distances.

what is your worst habbit

I think I am officially down to .5 xanax after a miserable detox. I will get rid of the rest by mid summer. Right now I have feelings that pop in and out. Anxiety is one and panic is the other. I feel it, and for a moment I am frozen, but than I acknowledge the feeling as panic or anxiety and the feeling eases up.

My worst habit is smoking. Started smoking after like, 10 years without after my first alter announced himself to me. Seriously that first internal conversation was held over a cigar. I also smoke a pipe. Several friends were a bit surprised by the sudden habit. Oh well. Another alter, Sire, likes to stay up late and listen to his depressing music and smoke in the garage. We aren't ready to quit yet, but that is the plan. At least we're not smoking cigarettes!

What is your favorite song and why?

it's a difficult question to answer, because we're all mad about music, and all like diffrent stuff

I like, " what if", by emilie autumn, because it sums up how I feel pretty wely

michelle on the other hand really likes the song "memory" from the musical cats

I guess it just depends who you ask in our system.

if you're unhappy with something (say at a cafe or at a store), how likely are you to complain about it?, (do you just leave it?)

we always complain about things, always

if you don't complain how can things be fixed?

do you enjoy sports (either playing or watching)

My boys both played soccer. I loved watching them play. I don't really enjoy watching sports if I don't have an interest in the game, as in a person I care about actively playing in the game.

What is a sport that you enjoy watching?

horse racing

especially the grand national

what type of show (crime, news, game show, )etc, do you like best?

I don't watch much, but probably documentary or sitcom. Nothing action-y or scary or dramatic.

Do you ever accidentally refer to yourself (aloud or in your head) by your PC name?

lol.

no...

but i've refered to myself as the oracle before (which is what another part likes to call herself)

I am trying to picture myself walking around referring to myself as shattered sanity.

suppose it could work..

do your parts share your last name?, do they just go by first names, or have their own last name

Mine don't have names, at least not proper ones. Now that I'm more co-conscious and processing it all in therapy, I have ways of referring to them, like there's the old nice person, the homeless angry girl, dad, things like that. I guess when they are out they don't give names, because they are mostly so scared of socializing... and we found out the homeless girl doesn't even know how to speak English, she can only make sounds. Back to names though... I don't have any connection to the name my parents gave either. I hate my name and tend not to give it out to new people until prompted so I guess it makes sense that the parts are a similar way.

My T asked if they had names and I said no, asked if I wanted to give them names or talk to them about it and I said no again. So that's where we're at.

For people with named parts/alters, did they say that was their name or did you/a host assign the name for organizational purposes? Or something else?

Some of them told me their names, some I named, some of them sorta were always known by their names. Blue and Gnash, I kinda always knew they're names, even before I realized I had parts. I even wrote stories about them. Baby and Bunny and Yellow I named due to the associations I have about them and those names just stuck, even though those names don't really give right impression about who they are now that I know them. Aubrey and Sire told me their names, they named themselves. Ash originally had a different name that I gave him, but he hated it and it didn't fit, so we found a his name for him out of one of my stories that fits well because he resembles the character. There are others who don't have names yet because i/we don't know them yet, and they aren't comfortable enough to talk to anyone.

Do you ever do anything fun with your insiders? Do they have hobbies you share or activities that you find them engaging in with you or commenting on?

incredibly relieved, made it to my disability appointment. first was an xray and the other was a physical by a dr. That was painful and caused me to feel foggy and light headed. She was asking me to do things like walk on my toes. I havent been able to do that sense an auto accident two decades ago. I started to get frustrated and almost said something rude but was pushed aside. Feeling better now. it has taken about six hours of sitting in my home for me to feel safe. Sometimes it seems like too much.

I like making boards on pinterest and it seems some other parts of me have made boards too. I showed my therpasit and she said it is a good way to know them better.

How long have you known you had a dissociative disorder?

I found out for sure back in December of 2015. I kind of knew it but denied it since I was in my teens.

What's your relationship status?

single.

(and happy to be that way)

can you think of anything good about having D.I.D?, or is it all bad for you

I can tell myself jokes and genuinely laugh at them. I can be seriously messed up and it hide from the whole world, which means if I let someone know about my problems, it's because I chose to, and I get to appear high functioning to everyone else. Even when I'm alone, I always have company. The little ones remind me how to love the simple things in life. I can practice social skills, compassion, and friendship, internally as I get to know them and we learn to trust each other and cooperate. I can't hide anything from them, so I can't lie, and there at least two who will move in to confront me when I'm running from help. I'm not as inept at life as I used to think, because every character strength and beauty I thought I lacked is carried by my others. As I discover those parts that once frightened me and get to know them, I am finding a treasure trove of everything that I thought I lacked--they are beautiful.

Same question. (If that's okay)

I know this isn't a talk-y thread but really thanks for this Solnutty, I've been having a nightmare week and all the things you said reminded me that it's ok and there are many nice things.

So I guess my answer is: recently it's all been bad for me. But I've experienced the things Solnutty mentions too. I especially like how well I can get along with kids. I love spending time with kids. I think I have a very young part out very often who has a hard time following how adult life is meant to work, so when I'm hanging out with the 3-7 year old crowd I don't have to worry.

What is your favorite thing to spread on bread (or bread substitute, if you cannot eat bread)?

Margarine and jam or margarine and garlic salt.

Do you have any pets?

This is beautiful, thank you.

I am a foster carer for cats but I currently don't have any with me.
Are you afraid of relationships?

difficult question really.

I wouldn't say i'm afraid of them, but it's certainly something I don't want

firstly because being single works fine for me, secondly.. well, no one deserves to live through all the issues I do (even if they don't actually experience them themselves, living with someone that does is enough)

do you have a goal in life?

(I know, tough question!)