Hi

I just got out of rehab-inpatient today.
It was a journey, a strange experience to process.
I believe I have Borderline Personality Disorder as I read a book on it while inpatient; And it really describes parts of me.
But I feel so spaced out, in such a fog that i can't see ahead of me...
Can anyone understand or relate to this Experience?

Who or What am I?
Is this just another dream?
What is this strange feeling about myself?
A strange confusion about my Identity...
A strange experience with people, Master of disguises;
Faces without names, I am.

I am Very Happy to be back!

I think, therefore I Am...

Looking forward to see my Therapist and discuss these things.
Hopefully I am capable now, after the strange stressful crazy experience that has Scared me straight so to speak, Not in a sober way, but a Mental way.

I want not to be sick, but to own my problems so that I may face them.
The big question is if I am multiple, or if I am not.
Are these people I am just me? or is it parts of me doing their thing.

How are you all?

about your questions my suggestion is not to focus on whether or not you are multiple or not and all that. just keep up the good work they had you doing inpatient and go according to what ever they have you diagnosed as and on what ever treatment plans they now have you on.

in the long run it's better to focus on what your inpatent treatments and all that, that got you stabilized and to continue that.

whether you have Borderline Personality Disorder or something else you are welcome here. dissociation is a problem that happens in normal life and with in just about every mental and physical health problem so regardless of what your inpatient testing and treatments found out for you, what matters is that you are now sober and on the right track, now its a matter of you keeping yourself on track by following and continuing all that hard work you just completed.

welcome back.

dissociation can often be part of borderline personality disorder like that.

Definitely; I don't want anyone here to think that I was imposing or being misleading...
I'm learning that I am a master manipulator though, in the sense that I manipulate myself as well as others... but not in a way to get things, or attention.
In a way that keeps my real self hidden, who ever That may be... I've had to hide my entire life to keep self safe... But now I am trying to discover who self is, its just difficult because I cant see past my own hands, if that makes any sense.

Ever changing I am. Constant fog I live...
such protection, from what?

I'm sober and its no better, its worse you know?

I just don't want to feel like people here think that I manipulated them, because surely i haven't... I've just shown my true confusion here, which I am as confused if not more confused than anyone by these things.

I'm stuck in a present moment, A depersonalized world of derealization...
Frozen in time, only to survive.
Fear drives me, hatred of self has been born and causes separation...
Why hatred? because of what I have become, Weakness ... which is unacceptable!

Thus I am... present... but lost, lost in a dream...

I want dearly to learn myself, who I am, or what parts I may have hiding from me due to my extreme behaviors which have caused such separation...

I am sober and I know that I am not making much sense so I will stop writing

I just want to understand myself, I want to love myself, I want to be whole

thanks amanda, i really like you guys

this person explained what i experience pretty well... any coments about dis?

Dissociative fog? Amnesia? Switching? : Dissociative Identity Disorder Forum - Psych forums