[Catlovers141]

Trigger warning for mention of frightening images. I won't go into graphic detail but please be aware that possibly triggering images are mentioned.

I don't have DID. I have DDNOS with dissociative inner parts. There is one part who is quite vocal and she often tells me really scary things, like "Someone attacked me" or "He r**ed me." I get shown images in my mind about this occurring. Some of it is very detailed between the stories and the images. I won't say the details here because it would probably be somewhat disturbing, but they are very specific in the way that the supposed attacks were carried out.

This has been going on for a while. Maybe a year or more. But this never happened to me. I have never been attacked by anyone, especially in that way. I am a little confused as to why these things continue to be said and shown to me. Something is said about it almost every day. Sometimes details are given, but mainly she just says someone attacked her.

I don't know how to help this part and help myself because I'm not sure what she is trying to convey with all of this? I have never been assaulted so I can't understand why she would keep talking about it. Any input as to what this could mean?

[Irine]

well - if you were diagnosed - don`t you have a therapist whom you can tell that?

If you DO dissociate...ugh...i don`t know if that would frighten you more...but IF you dissociate - it - well it can be either a false memories....or...real People who dissociate do not remember things that happen to them.

I am not SAYING that it was real..i just think that...well...its worth investigating into that..to see.

I too thought i was never raped, assaulted, abused, hypnotized and kidnapped......well....

[Miracle1986]

I'm sorry this is happening...

[Catlovers141]

I do have a therapist, but she doesn't really give a lot of straight answers as far as this. And I have a hard time going into specifics. She knows the parts talk about violence and some details, but she doesn't even know it is all sexual violence.

And don't worry, I only take what I see online and on these forums and just a possibility or a suggestion. I don't automatically assume it is true. So please don't worry that I will just believe what you said without investigating. That would be a pretty big thing that probably shouldn't just be accepted anyway.

Thank you both for your replies.

[Irine]

Is it hard for you to tell her that the images and stuff seem sexual?

[Catlovers141]

Yes, I think that is one of the hard parts. I also have trouble with the specific details. I'm not trying to be difficult, and I actually try every time to say more about what is going on. But when it comes time to do that, I just can't get my mouth to form the words. She knows I get images and verbal scenarios and she knows what few details I have been able to tell her. I've been able to say the part said she was attacked, but that's about as far as I've been able to go.

[invisigirl]

No advice or input really.. but just wanted to say I understand.

I have been experiencing the same thing. I have not actually talked to anyone about the things I 'see' or hear. They are just there in my head. I have put some down in my journal though. I just started T a few weeks ago, so I'm just not ready to delve into that with her yet.

Most days, I just wish I could find a way to make them STOP.

[mlyn]

understand. most of what I know are just images in my head from someone else (inside) telling about them. Like a dream. Do I believe? well some I do now cuz I have sisters telling me of their stories and sounds much alike. Other stuff I just figure it is possible to be true. Others say inside it is so so I can not any longer say it is not totaly false. Just me personaly have to have proof to believe but can no longer totally deny it either cuz that causes much prblms inside too.

[Catlovers141]

Thank you for your replies. I am just wondering what other things it could be besides a real or false memory? I am asking this because I considered this myself before coming here and am wondering what else it could be. When the images are shown to me, it's not like I remember it happening. It feels like it is very close to me and it is scary, but that just could be because of the nature of the images.

[invisigirl]

Originally Posted by Catlovers141

Thank you for your replies. I am just wondering what other things it could be besides a real or false memory? I am asking this because I considered this myself before coming here and am wondering what else it could be. When the images are shown to me, it's not like I remember it happening. It feels like it is very close to me and it is scary, but that just could be because of the nature of the images.

this is exactly how I have experienced it too... and I often wonder the same thing. what other explanation is there? what could this be, what does it mean?

these are not things that happened to me. just things I am seeing in my head and at times they 'feel' like memories, but they're not.

[Irine]

Originally Posted by Catlovers141

Thank you for your replies. I am just wondering what other things it could be besides a real or false memory? I am asking this because I considered this myself before coming here and am wondering what else it could be. When the images are shown to me, it's not like I remember it happening. It feels like it is very close to me and it is scary, but that just could be because of the nature of the images.

- this is what my flash back feel like - and i think it is because our conscious self has not experienced it. There was too much shock for my mind to ever experience or BELIEVE this...so ignored. Turned to the other side. = outside. And now - they feel not like any usually memories because they are more like peaces and experiences ... it is the "other self" but actually just a part of myself that i am not conscious of. This is how it is for me.

[Catlovers141]

But I thought that flashbacks involved feeling like you were reliving the experience again? In my case, it feels very close but when I look around I see no one attacking me and generally I feel nothing.

[hippiebea]

when i first began to dissociate it was because i was protecting myself and walling myself from traumatic memories.

[Catlovers141]

It just seems like a lot of people who dissociate and have traumatic memories have some sort of awareness of something happening. Like maybe they don't know the extent of what was happening. Like they knew person X did something somewhat questionable, but they also did something a lot worse. I don't have any such memories, which was part of my question.