Newbie Seeking Advice

Camreno · Apr 10, 2018, 02:55 PM

First of all I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. I have just begun my search and this is the first place I stumbled upon so forgive me if I’m not in the correct place, if not some referrals would be greatly appreciated.

The older I get the more I am learning about myself and wanting to change, and this is one of the biggest problems that I face. I am not 100% sure but I’m pretty positive I have a form of dissociation. I know most of you are probably not doctors, I’m not looking for a diagnosis, simply advice.

For as long as I can remember, during confrontation, whether it’s someone getting angry with me, yelling at me on the phone, or worstly, being in an interview, I go completely blank. It’s not just a simple case of nervousness, I completely forget everything, I have no memories, I can’t think. From the research that I’ve done I’m going into flight or fight mode and in my case freeze. During interviews it can get so bad to where my throat will start closing, so I have a hard time getting air which makes talking even worse, extreme sweating, it’s as if my body and brain are being overloaded with adrenaline.

From the research that I’ve done, dissociation is generally caused by trauma, which I can think of none. The only thing I can possibly think of is, I had Tourette’s for roughly 10 years when I was a kid starting out with episodes that are pretty much seizures, which I have no recollection of ever having. Slowly over time I got better and better and eventually I grew out of Tourette’s all together. If this is not the possible reason then I was just born this way.

Now most of you will probably just tell me to go see a doctor or physiatrist, which I may end up doing if I can eventually afford it. But I like to try and work through things myself before seeking help as I’ve always been very independent and self-sufficient. Do any of you have any advice other than seeing a therapist that I can’t afford, that I can do to work towards overcoming this?

Thank you so much.

Skeezyks · Apr 11, 2018, 01:31 PM

Hello Camreno: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral!

I hope you find the time you spend here to be beneficial.

May I suggest you introduce yourself over on our New Members Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

Honestly I'm not knowledgeable enough, with regard to psychology in general, to really offer you much in the way of guidance with regard to what you are experiencing.

The only thing I guess I could say about it is that I have had all of the experiences you describe at one time or another.

I've always simply chalked my experiences up to my high levels of anxiety. So I presume the things you're experiencing could simply be symptoms of a high level of anxiety. I don't know at what point these types of experiences become diagnosable as dissociative disorder. That is, I think, a determination that would have to be made by a psychiatrist or other mental health professional.

Apr 11, 2018, 01:42 PM

Hi Camenro, welcome to PC!

Is it possible to find a T at a clinic that charges on a scale based on your own income?

All I can suggest is learning grounding techniques if you haven’t already. Do you know any?

Camreno · Apr 11, 2018, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Hi Camenro, welcome to PC!

Is it possible to find a T at a clinic that charges on a scale based on your own income?

All I can suggest is learning grounding techniques if you haven’t already. Do you know any?

I have read about that but haven’t the slightest clue on how to get started. One would need a therapist no?

Apr 13, 2018, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camreno

I have read about that but haven’t the slightest clue on how to get started. One would need a therapist no?

You would need a therapist to get a diagnosis and help, but you can learn grounding techniques online or asking around.

When anxiety hits me through sensory triggers like loud noises, bright lights, colors (think of a supermarket)....it’s like I get immersed in a sea of derealism where everything doesn’t ‘feel” real, So I pick up an object and focus on it reading the label, reading the ingredients, looking at the contents ignoring my environment till the feeling goes away.

Sometimes a splash of cold water helps, are a sharp slap against the arm or leg,...anything that can pull yourself up and out of the dissociative distress.

Call around to mental health clinics and ask if they offer such a system.

Camreno · Apr 19, 2018, 09:26 AM

But would you guys call this a form of dissociation or just severe anxiety?

Michael W. Harris · Apr 19, 2018, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camreno

First of all I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. I have just begun my search and this is the first place I stumbled upon so forgive me if I’m not in the correct place, if not some referrals would be greatly appreciated.

The older I get the more I am learning about myself and wanting to change, and this is one of the biggest problems that I face. I am not 100% sure but I’m pretty positive I have a form of dissociation. I know most of you are probably not doctors, I’m not looking for a diagnosis, simply advice.

For as long as I can remember, during confrontation, whether it’s someone getting angry with me, yelling at me on the phone, or worstly, being in an interview, I go completely blank. It’s not just a simple case of nervousness, I completely forget everything, I have no memories, I can’t think. From the research that I’ve done I’m going into flight or fight mode and in my case freeze. During interviews it can get so bad to where my throat will start closing, so I have a hard time getting air which makes talking even worse, extreme sweating, it’s as if my body and brain are being overloaded with adrenaline.

From the research that I’ve done, dissociation is generally caused by trauma, which I can think of none. The only thing I can possibly think of is, I had Tourette’s for roughly 10 years when I was a kid starting out with episodes that are pretty much seizures, which I have no recollection of ever having. Slowly over time I got better and better and eventually I grew out of Tourette’s all together. If this is not the possible reason then I was just born this way.

Now most of you will probably just tell me to go see a doctor or physiatrist, which I may end up doing if I can eventually afford it. But I like to try and work through things myself before seeking help as I’ve always been very independent and self-sufficient. Do any of you have any advice other than seeing a therapist that I can’t afford, that I can do to work towards overcoming this?

Thank you so much.

I have experienced exactly what you have experienced. Severe cases of stage fright. Choking on exams when I had worked every problem in the book and knew the material backward and forward. Being subconsciously ashamed to be in front of people. Panicking in interviews. Thinking that I was not worthy of the job that I was applying to get. This all goes to extreme low self esteem and confidence.

These symptoms can be caused simply by being shamed extremely during the toddler years. It does not have to be serious physical abuse which causes psychological damage to a toddler. When parents are insensitive to the toddler's emotions and feelings they can accidentally cause these psychological problems that we have later in life. It is extremely easy to traumatize a newborn to three year old toddler. Parents do not seem to realize that even newborns have the same emotions as adults. Newborns can feel fear and anxiety or grief and sadness, or excitement and glee, etc. But the toddler does not understand these emotions and cannot process the feelings. My Mom traumatized all her children during the toddler years because of ideas that someone had put into her head. She never thought about her toddler's emotions or feelings.

I have thought about Tourettes disorder quite often in my own journey to understand my problems. I never had it but I met a guy who had a severe case of it in college. I have always believed that it, just like stuttering, was caused by trauma, abuse, or shame that occurred during childhood. I am glad that you have over-come it.

Shazerac · Apr 19, 2018, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camreno

But would you guys call this a form of dissociation or just severe anxiety?

The reason we are suggesting you visit a therapist is because we are not doctors or therapists. We don’t know anything about you and certainly can not dispense any medical advise.

Welcome to psych central

Apr 20, 2018, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camreno

But would you guys call this a form of dissociation or just severe anxiety?

I couldn’t tell ya, I do the same. For sure it’s due to my low self esteem, self loathing, lack of confidence, fear of people, I still it today...especially when I’m in a group of people.

In a meeting, my mind is in high alert, blood pressure increases, I stutter, mind is a blank, sweating, mind spinning, hold my breath, eyes bulging from pressure, the silence is deafening, voice wavers, heart pounding, intense pressure in my head as I try to climb out the back of it...all short of passing out.

I attribute all this to anxiety leading to a panic attack.

When I dissociate, I don’t experience such symptoms. I simply freeze, daze out, vision splits, go to the back of my head because I’m confused of what to do (especially in confrontations) then the Others go “oh my what do we do?” then an alter will step up and take over to continue.

My dissociation tends to lead to a switch.

For the anxiety/panic...I try slow deep breathing, distraction, a little mindfulness and calm meditation, and focusing on an object trying to stay out of my head instead of focusing on my fears and immediate state mental/physical state. I think that I’m panicking because I am panicking on panicking, forseeing an emotional breakdown...so I stay away from focusing on the panic.

It takes practice, but since you can identify a problem...you can work on it. Good luck.

YoucancallmeFlower · Apr 20, 2018, 09:22 AM

AlwaysChanging2-I have often experienced what you describe in your
first post here, and it was diagnosed as Sensory Overload. Not saying
that is what you have, but it sounds very similar. Your solution of
focusing on something is very smart. Unfortunately, mine hits me so
quickly there is no time for rational thought. Goes right into panic attack
mode. I had to quit driving because of it. Wonder if it is connected to
PTSD?

To the original poster-I agree that you need to speak to someone.
Things you can do in the meantime-read and study about this disorder,
keep a daily journal, eliminate as much stress from your life as you
possibly can. Take some of the quizzes here, read the articles on this subject. Stay involved and keep posting. Best of luck.

dlantern · Apr 20, 2018, 12:06 PM

Find out what you do well, what are the typical interview styles where you are seeking employment. I'd practice associating to words settings dictionary and to the behavioral interview model that they tell us to practice. Use videos make sure that you practice as if someone on the video, use chairs in your home and also use the mirror. Being in control is definately what I recommend when interviewing, I think you can do it does take a in university approach just like an like transition. And to add be careful on the journey it can get worse since there is toll in anything that you do.

Apr 20, 2018, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YoucancallmeFlower

AlwaysChanging2-I have often experienced what you describe in your
first post here, and it was diagnosed as Sensory Overload. Not saying
that is what you have, but it sounds very similar. Your solution of
focusing on something is very smart. Unfortunately, mine hits me so
quickly there is no time for rational thought. Goes right into panic attack
mode. I had to quit driving because of it. Wonder if it is connected to
PTSD?

To the original poster-I agree that you need to speak to someone.
Things you can do in the meantime-read and study about this disorder,
keep a daily journal, eliminate as much stress from your life as you
possibly can. Take some of the quizzes here, read the articles on this subject. Stay involved and keep posting. Best of luck.

I experience sensory overload like walking into a superstore with all the registers ringing, people talking and shuffling, rows and rows of patterns and color, the din, ..it triggers my dr/dp...and can lead to a panic attack, but I do grounding techniques like focusing on an object to analyze it.

When it came to meetings or meeting new people...it’s same but different. Its the fear of every looking, listening, focusing on me and my system being judged for I already judge myself as a whack-a-doo. All mostly more like complex-ptsd. W

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