Suicidal Parts?

Does anyone here have a part that makes you very suicidal or need to escape that everything is doom and gloom.

I have a part that is so desperate to escape that everything is magnified 10 fold. That things will never change, everything is pointless, no one loves you or wants to be around you. It feels painful just to be conscious. All you can think about is not being alive anymore so you do not have to deal with feeling or anything.

It takes all my effort to fight this part and to beat it down back into the hole it came from. When it is out I can not get things done. I feel like I do the bare minimum to participate in daily life.

We have an alter that does that....so anguished that she cuts and we do feel sui....but when we started accepting our multiplicity and got rid of the stressful triggers like a crappy relationship, financial problems, an insolent child, and certain addictions....she quit presenting and quieted down.

Every now and then she’ll present, but she isn’t that despondent or active...just moody.

Instead of fighting this part and beating it down have you tried getting to know this part and why it feels that way and trying to comfort it? It's worth trying and might make a difference.

Yes ...............

I think Betty is right.
My part/alter Jim used to be very negative and would try to get the body to hurt itself. One day I asked him why he was so angry and we had a long talk about his wants and needs. Hes a prorector now and we are all in a much better place emotionally.

Yes I do. I have an introject part that is a combination of my mother and father that is always yelling at me to kill myself. It tried one time and I ended up in a psychiatric hospital. Now, Janus (Mommy-Daddy) is locked up in a jail cell, but I can still hear him/her. Seems every time something goes wrong or I feel a little down, I hear them. Most of the time their voice is quiet. I even heard them say, "Off with her head." I don't like having a part/parts that wants to do me harm. The rest of my "team" is supportive, even when they don't like me.

Please be safe. Don't let a part do you in. Get them help. Hang in there!

Its a firefighter part!

Yes I know but the T I have now claims it is an alter but I like the IFS model better.

The Firefighter comes out to protect the exile that has been triggered. The key here is for me to figure out what triggered the exile to begin with and I just cant seem to back track the last weeks events to figure it ou.

Anyway I took CBD oil and a small dose of xanax last night and woke up not blended with the firefighter.

That's good that you're not blended anymore.
From what I can tell the IFS model explains the roles of different parts... and in DID the major difference is the level of dissociation between them. I am sure there is more to it though and that the parts are relationships (and non-relationships) between them are heaps more complex in DID.
Still the basic roles and functions would kind of be the same.

We have a teenage alter that gets triggered into suicidal intention. She goes through the motions of "preparing" which seems to calm the whole system down. Looking at that through the IFS lens I see her behavior, her "script" as a fire fighter part to protect against exiles for sure. I think I see the dissociative system functioning the same as internal family system with the roles and functions very similar, just with amnesia and dissociation between them.

Maybe you could recognize what a good job she is doing? That is a big job and a very painful one too. How awful to have nothing but suicidal feelings and also be hated for it.

Yeah my last therapist tried to get me to be curious about it but I have been unable to feel anything but distain and hatred for it as it causes me so much misery and eventual it could cause me death.

Yes this!.....I do not understand it. I count my pills and think about which ones to mix to stop my breathing, I keep googling suicide. I can not stop but it seems to placate to this part.

When I am "untriggered" I look back scratching my head wondering what all the fuss was about.