[zbmom]

So about 3 weeks ago a therapist figured out I have Dissociative Disorder NOS. So I have all these alters that are fragmented parts of myself that got stuck at certain ages and times in my life. It makes a lot of sense when I look back at the missing spots in my memories and how I can be different at different times and feel hijacked and at war with myself. Since I’ve become aware my alters or parts have become very “loud” and demanding . They want certain things. It’s been overwhelming and scary sometimes. I have 3 main ones including the core self and my core and my over functioning adult self try to keep the third in check because she tends to do impulsive and maladaptive things like cutting, drinking, binging etc. But I also have bipolar and ptsd and so we can’t always manage her. I feel like I have child parts but I can’t identify more than 2 so far and they get triggered and flood me or I get lots of flashbacks. It’s been a lot to take in. Yesterday they wouldn’t shut up so I got my notebook and just gave each of them the chance to write a letter. It was strange to see how the handwriting was so different from each one. I have a very young little before my sexual abuse and she just wanted to draw pictures of her/our pets at that time. I don’t know what I’m doing.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by zbmom

So about 3 weeks ago a therapist figured out I have Dissociative Disorder NOS. So I have all these alters that are fragmented parts of myself that got stuck at certain ages and times in my life. It makes a lot of sense when I look back at the missing spots in my memories and how I can be different at different times and feel hijacked and at war with myself. Since I’ve become aware my alters or parts have become very “loud” and demanding . They want certain things. It’s been overwhelming and scary sometimes. I have 3 main ones including the core self and my core and my over functioning adult self try to keep the third in check because she tends to do impulsive and maladaptive things like cutting, drinking, binging etc. But I also have bipolar and ptsd and so we can’t always manage her. I feel like I have child parts but I can’t identify more than 2 so far and they get triggered and flood me or I get lots of flashbacks. It’s been a lot to take in. Yesterday they wouldn’t shut up so I got my notebook and just gave each of them the chance to write a letter. It was strange to see how the handwriting was so different from each one. I have a very young little before my sexual abuse and she just wanted to draw pictures of her/our pets at that time. I don’t know what I’m doing.

if this was me the first thing I would do is ask my therapist questions like...

what do you mean by Dissociative Disorder NOS?

reason I would ask that question is because no where in the whole world is there a dissociative disorder called Dissociative Disorder NOS. The American Psychiatric Association made changes to the american mental health system including throwing out all NOS labeled disorders and adding to other existing disorders and making new dissociative disorders.. here is a list of dissociative disorders america has.

https://forums.psychcentral.com/diss...s-dsm-5-a.html

(the two general dissociation disorders are now called OSDD and UDD, UDD is used for emergency situations and gets changed OSDD has many different things in it, each has their own names but are not listed here, none are called DDNOS. they are names like macropsia, tachypsychia and other strange and long names. your therapist will have to tell you what that strange name is if they diagnose you with OSDD, its the rules for being diagnosed OSDD.)

I would ask the therapist to see their DSM 5 and ask them to show me what they mean by Dissociative Disorder NOS. after you know exactly what your therapist meant things wont be so confusing or scary anymore.

another thing I can tell you is that one thing that helped me with getting diagnosed was that my treatment providers told me nothing changes, I just now have a name for what has been happening all my life . the only thing thats going to change was my learning better coping tools and healing so that I no longer have the problems I have had all my life.

I am now an integrated person meaning all my alters have joined together with me to form one whole person again instead of alters.

[Laurel1562]

You wrote:
"Since I’ve become aware my alters or parts have become very “loud” and demanding . "

This has also been my experience. One of my parts, Billy, has also been taking charge more. At my next appointment, my T will be teaching me containment techniques. Right now the best way to quiet everyone down is to press a pressure point between my thumb and forefinger on my left hand or to hold something cold with my left hand. I'm thinking loud jarring noises would also help, but I haven't tested it.

[zbmom]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

if this was me the first thing I would do is ask my therapist questions like...

what do you mean by Dissociative Disorder NOS?

reason I would ask that question is because no where in the whole world is there a dissociative disorder called Dissociative Disorder NOS. The American Psychiatric Association made changes to the american mental health system including throwing out all NOS labeled disorders and adding to other existing disorders and making new dissociative disorders.. here is a list of dissociative disorders america has.

https://forums.psychcentral.com/diss...s-dsm-5-a.html

(the two general dissociation disorders are now called OSDD and UDD, UDD is used for emergency situations and gets changed OSDD has many different things in it, each has their own names but are not listed here, none are called DDNOS. they are names like macropsia, tachypsychia and other strange and long names. your therapist will have to tell you what that strange name is if they diagnose you with OSDD, its the rules for being diagnosed OSDD.)

I would ask the therapist to see their DSM 5 and ask them to show me what they mean by Dissociative Disorder NOS. after you know exactly what your therapist meant things wont be so confusing or scary anymore.

another thing I can tell you is that one thing that helped me with getting diagnosed was that my treatment providers told me nothing changes, I just now have a name for what has been happening all my life . the only thing thats going to change was my learning better coping tools and healing so that I no longer have the problems I have had all my life.

I am now an integrated person meaning all my alters have joined together with me to form one whole person again instead of alters.

.

Reading through those resources I would say OSDD probably fits best. I’m not a psychiatrist but I am a clinician and some of the older therapists including the one who helped me identify I have alters still go off DSM IV. We will see what the psychiatrist at my residential treatment center thinks.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by zbmom

.

Reading through those resources I would say OSDD probably fits best. I’m not a psychiatrist but I am a clinician and some of the older therapists including the one who helped me identify I have alters still go off DSM IV. We will see what the psychiatrist at my residential treatment center thinks.

I am very very shocked and red flags raising big time. heres why...

the DSM IV is the diagnostic book from 1994. your treatment provider is diagnosing you by the standards of over 20 years ago. 23 years ago to be exact. wow thats scary. Im imagining myself going to my medical doctor with an allergy rash and getting diagnosed with scarlet fever, or going in to my medical doctor with chicken pox and being told just an allergy...

wow, just wow.

Im also shocked that your treatment provider would risk something like insurance fraud or malpractice....

heres why.... here in america treatment providers were given a grace period of two years to stop using the DSM IV TR and use the DSM 5. the TR came after what your own treatment provider is using. the DSM IV that your treatment provider is using was not supposed to be used after 1996 (2 years after the newer version TR came out)

Im also shocked because here in america the government (presidents and such) made nation wide changes to the health care system which makes it illegal for treatment providers to be using out dated diagnostics and that all americans are supposed to have health insurance.

Im shocked that your treatment provider would be committing health care fraud and insurance fraud by using the DSM IV to diagnose and treat you. the moment they bill the insurance company the insurance comp-any is going to deny payment because the disorder that they are labeling you is no longer used and neither is the coding for it. (assuming here you dont have 100-200 to pay for each therapy session not to mention the diagnostic testing that is required to diagnose mental disorders today)

Im also shocked because recently I did a research project where I contacted all the states ethics boards to find out what diagnostic manuals and mental disorders are in use in each state. the answer for your location in your profile is the DSM 5 not the DSM IV. so your treatment provider is not only doing illegal practices law wise but ethically too with your states governing board of ethics for mental health treatment providers.

wow, just wow. my suggestion is if this was me I would be finding me a new treatment provider. I would not want to be put in that situation that you are in.

Originally Posted by Laurel1562

You wrote:
"Since I’ve become aware my alters or parts have become very “loud” and demanding . "

This has also been my experience. One of my parts, Billy, has also been taking charge more. At my next appointment, my T will be teaching me containment techniques. Right now the best way to quiet everyone down is to press a pressure point between my thumb and forefinger on my left hand or to hold something cold with my left hand. I'm thinking loud jarring noises would also help, but I haven't tested it.

Me too....once their existance has been validated...we went nuts. We spent about a year hard switching, fighting for control, wanting out and in charge, enjoying our our new found freedom to being....our system was falling apart at the seams, so we decided to go back to working together with time out concessions. We made deals like the guys get the work stuff and us gals get the homelife.

So far it has been hard accepting jumping this gender divide...but we have become more comfy with it.

Not all my other parts want a say...just the loud mouthed ones do...lol.

I tried to message you... i thought this link might be helpful.
www.discussingdissociation.com
Its a blog about DID by a therapist. Maybe reading it would hel you feel better.

Wow you have come a long way in 3 weeks! It seemingly took me forever to get to the younger ones & admit & uncover the abuse. Recently, we uncovered another one after we had surgery. Sometimes mine are getting loud as we all adjust. I found DiscussingDissociation.com a big help with very practical things to do. Best advice we got was 2 fold....every system operates differently..... slow down. Didn't like either one! Wanted to fix the system now & wanted my T to give me step by step instructions!! Interesting you have a little one before the abuse. I have one too. My T says it's rather rare. Please keep posting.
Although it doesn't feel like it, you all are talking & that's awesome.







QUOTE=zbmom;6164810]So about 3 weeks ago a therapist figured out I have Dissociative Disorder NOS. So I have all these alters that are fragmented parts of myself that got stuck at certain ages and times in my life. It makes a lot of sense when I look back at the missing spots in my memories and how I can be different at different times and feel hijacked and at war with myself. Since I’ve become aware my alters or parts have become very “loud” and demanding . They want certain things. It’s been overwhelming and scary sometimes. I have 3 main ones including the core self and my core and my over functioning adult self try to keep the third in check because she tends to do impulsive and maladaptive things like cutting, drinking, binging etc. But I also have bipolar and ptsd and so we can’t always manage her. I feel like I have child parts but I can’t identify more than 2 so far and they get triggered and flood me or I get lots of flashbacks. It’s been a lot to take in. Yesterday they wouldn’t shut up so I got my notebook and just gave each of them the chance to write a letter. It was strange to see how the handwriting was so different from each one. I have a very young little before my sexual abuse and she just wanted to draw pictures of her/our pets at that time. I don’t know what I’m doing.[/QUOTE]

[kecanoe]

I had a similar experience when first diagnosed: sorry you are going thru that. Journaling like you described was very helpful in teaching parts about each other. I found trying to understand and listen to all parts helpful. I also have found SE and Brain Spotting helpful.

And a definite yes on drawing pictures. I've done tons of that as well. Pretty much anything that allows parts to safely express what they need/what their function is can be helpful IMO.

Originally Posted by zbmom

So about 3 weeks ago a therapist figured out I have Dissociative Disorder NOS. So I have all these alters that are fragmented parts of myself that got stuck at certain ages and times in my life. It makes a lot of sense when I look back at the missing spots in my memories and how I can be different at different times and feel hijacked and at war with myself. Since I’ve become aware my alters or parts have become very “loud” and demanding . They want certain things. It’s been overwhelming and scary sometimes. I have 3 main ones including the core self and my core and my over functioning adult self try to keep the third in check because she tends to do impulsive and maladaptive things like cutting, drinking, binging etc. But I also have bipolar and ptsd and so we can’t always manage her. I feel like I have child parts but I can’t identify more than 2 so far and they get triggered and flood me or I get lots of flashbacks. It’s been a lot to take in. Yesterday they wouldn’t shut up so I got my notebook and just gave each of them the chance to write a letter. It was strange to see how the handwriting was so different from each one. I have a very young little before my sexual abuse and she just wanted to draw pictures of her/our pets at that time. I don’t know what I’m doing.

[zbmom]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I am very very shocked and red flags raising big time. heres why...

the DSM IV is the diagnostic book from 1994. your treatment provider is diagnosing you by the standards of over 20 years ago. 23 years ago to be exact. wow thats scary. Im imagining myself going to my medical doctor with an allergy rash and getting diagnosed with scarlet fever, or going in to my medical doctor with chicken pox and being told just an allergy...

wow, just wow.

Im also shocked that your treatment provider would risk something like insurance fraud or malpractice....

heres why.... here in america treatment providers were given a grace period of two years to stop using the DSM IV TR and use the DSM 5. the TR came after what your own treatment provider is using. the DSM IV that your treatment provider is using was not supposed to be used after 1996 (2 years after the newer version TR came out)

Im also shocked because here in america the government (presidents and such) made nation wide changes to the health care system which makes it illegal for treatment providers to be using out dated diagnostics and that all americans are supposed to have health insurance.

Im shocked that your treatment provider would be committing health care fraud and insurance fraud by using the DSM IV to diagnose and treat you. the moment they bill the insurance company the insurance comp-any is going to deny payment because the disorder that they are labeling you is no longer used and neither is the coding for it. (assuming here you dont have 100-200 to pay for each therapy session not to mention the diagnostic testing that is required to diagnose mental disorders today)

Im also shocked because recently I did a research project where I contacted all the states ethics boards to find out what diagnostic manuals and mental disorders are in use in each state. the answer for your location in your profile is the DSM 5 not the DSM IV. so your treatment provider is not only doing illegal practices law wise but ethically too with your states governing board of ethics for mental health treatment providers.

wow, just wow. my suggestion is if this was me I would be finding me a new treatment provider. I would not want to be put in that situation that you are in.

I should clarify. This is the director of a partial hospitalization program who has been a clinician for over 35 years. He isn’t my usual therapist. He filled in one day and did an internal family systems exercise and told me he suspects I have a dissociative disorder and gave me literature to read. He didn’t officially put anything in my chart or send anything to insurance. He wanted me to learn about dissociative disorders and talk about it with my regular therapist. It’s become pretty clear that I do not have DID but I definitely have alters. I’m not worried in the slightest about his experience or opinion. I just finished grad school last year and even though you’re supposed to defer to the DSM 5 they still make us learn the DSM-Iv and a lot of agencies use both as reference materials although they do have to code with the DSM 5. It’s not some magical bible it’s an agreement between a community of professionals about a constellation of symptoms. Psychiatry is not an exact science. I do appreciate your intention of looking out for me but I don’t think the level of outrage is necessary. I’m ok really. No matter what label they slap on me I have alters and I need to deal with them. That’s what really matters.

[zbmom]

Originally Posted by cavaliers

Wow you have come a long way in 3 weeks! It seemingly took me forever to get to the younger ones & admit & uncover the abuse. Recently, we uncovered another one after we had surgery. Sometimes mine are getting loud as we all adjust. I found DiscussingDissociation.com a big help with very practical things to do. Best advice we got was 2 fold....every system operates differently..... slow down. Didn't like either one! Wanted to fix the system now & wanted my T to give me step by step instructions!! Interesting you have a little one before the abuse. I have one too. My T says it's rather rare. Please keep posting.
Although it doesn't feel like it, you all are talking & that's awesome.

Thank you. Yeah it’s pretty weird. I’m not positive she is a little before the abuse because I can barely remember the abuse and she only communicates through pictures. But if she is a little from the abuse she definitely doesn’t know what the abuse is or that it carries shame. I have one that is from after everyone found out about it and the shame and the tearing apart of the family and being interrogated by the police started. I have 2 protectors who talk a lot, one is 13-15 year old me and comes out when we feel physically threatened or in danger or abused in some way. The other is my manager and she takes over when I’m overwhelmed and can’t handle having emotions. She does my job and makes everything happen no matter how depressed I am. I have at least 4 child alters including the 2 little mentioned. I also have a nasty critical voice that puts me down constantly and wants me to kill us all. So there are at least 8 of us in the system I’ve identified on my own thus far. My protectors and the critical one don’t want to integrate. The littles won’t really talk much because one of the protectors keeps them quiet but I’ve gotten a little bit out letting them freewrite letters to our dead grandfather. It’s all very strange. I’m now insisting on being called by my core self’s name which is not my given name. That is a big step for me.



QUOTE=zbmom;6164810]So about 3 weeks ago a therapist figured out I have Dissociative Disorder NOS. So I have all these alters that are fragmented parts of myself that got stuck at certain ages and times in my life. It makes a lot of sense when I look back at the missing spots in my memories and how I can be different at different times and feel hijacked and at war with myself. Since I’ve become aware my alters or parts have become very “loud” and demanding . They want certain things. It’s been overwhelming and scary sometimes. I have 3 main ones including the core self and my core and my over functioning adult self try to keep the third in check because she tends to do impulsive and maladaptive things like cutting, drinking, binging etc. But I also have bipolar and ptsd and so we can’t always manage her. I feel like I have child parts but I can’t identify more than 2 so far and they get triggered and flood me or I get lots of flashbacks. It’s been a lot to take in. Yesterday they wouldn’t shut up so I got my notebook and just gave each of them the chance to write a letter. It was strange to see how the handwriting was so different from each one. I have a very young little before my sexual abuse and she just wanted to draw pictures of her/our pets at that time. I don’t know what I’m doing.

[/QUOTE]