[stahrgeyzer]

I can’t understand what happened to me. I recently woke up in the morning, but it wasn’t until later on in the day, like the afternoon, that I started to notice my personality and mood was different. Then that night I had ice cream and apple pie that I’ve had zillions of times my entire life and always have been crazy about it, but after finishing it I was like, “Ug, that wasn’t so good.” In fact I quickly became upset with myself for consuming a lot of calories for something that didn’t taste good. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I really didn’t care for either one, the cream and the apple pie. There are a lot of other things that are different. The way I pick up things such as the tv zapper. I'm fumbling it, dropping it. It's starting to frustrate me.

I feel like I’m going crazy. As stated in other threads I hear voices that claim to be “alters,” 11 of them. I only know two of their names Ryan and Sally, but they don’t want to take control of the body even though I know of at least one time Ryan briefly took over my body. I suspect they take control off my body often at night during sleep. Maybe we’ve all become one. I don't talk to them anymore. It's been at least a week because the entire situation upsets me. I feel very very very strange and don’t like it.

[stahrgeyzer]

What made me wonder if my personality had just changed was that I wasn't my usual depressed self. The complete opposite. I was doing all kinds of chores and being ultra productive as if I was a completely different person. Then I started thinking about how I felt, and I felt like a different person. A completely different vibe. In fact even my nose senses feels different. Kind of like the same effect when if I or someone squeeze the tip of my nose. That kind of a sensation. Like a chemically indescribable sensation. It sounds very weird and it is.

[stahrgeyzer]

Another thing, I was drinking the usual yogurt probiotic drink that I always love and yearn. Same brand. Now it doesn't do anything for me. It's like, ehh.

[stahrgeyzer]

One thing I should probably mention is that just prior to all of this I started having meltdowns about life to the point where I started hitting myself in my head with my fist very hard. About as hard as I can, dozens of times. Sometimes it's kind of made my head feel a bit strange, but I find it hard to believe that could change my personality and my taste for foods.

[stahrgeyzer]

So after searching the Internet it became immediately clear that it’s well known that brain damage can and does cause changes in personality along with impairment to motor skills. So WOW that is so awesome to me that I caused myself brain damage. No I’m not trying to encourage that.

So on the bright side, it appears I got lucky because I don’t have any bad side effects except minor annoying motor skill impairment, but now that appears to have been repaired already. Yes, experts are saying that minor brain damage does heal. It's very well known now that the brain can and does repair itself. There are no headaches, dizziness, lightheadedness, spinning sensation, mild confusion, nausea. Although for the moment there is a loud high pitch ringing in my ears, which is one of the symptoms, but it wasn’t there when I went to bed and I’m sure it will fade. The good part is that the personality change was for the better. But hey, there was only one way to go, up haha. It couldn’t have gotten worse. I don’t feel outrageously depressed to the point where it doing chores was like moving a mount Everest.

This was like reprogramming my brain. Neuroplasticity is well known by academics. It happens throughout your entire life where your brain is always physically changing your brain. Part of it's called pruning. Maybe I broke a few billion synapses and the brain had to reprogram itself, of course not knowing where they were connected, so it started from fresh. Why not? Academics electrify your brain with high voltage, called electroshock therapy, and it’s proven to cure mental disorders. It seems smacking your brain around can also cure mental disorders, if you’re lucky. Maybe I discovered a replacement for electroshock therapy. Wow it makes sense. Electroshock therapy obviously does something to the brain. I'm no brain specialist but I theorize what happens is it breaks synapses and therefore neuroplasticity reprograms the brain from fresh, and voila, a noticeable section of your mental disorder is now gone. Although if you don't cure the cause of it, then I'm guessing the neuroplasticity will eventually reprogram the mental disorder again.

Well the only reason I was hitting my head very hard with my fist is because I just hate this brain. It’s so horrible. Why do people cling so hard to life? Evolution! Evolution has obviously kept species alive for billions of years. That’s a lot of evolution to overcome. How? One way is that it forms bad religions and philosophies telling people they’ll fry in a lake of fire being tortured forever because they “God” who created you can’t figure out how to “save” you and wasn’t intelligent enough to foresee the obvious fact that humans would have critical thinking skills given our biological makeup, and a “God” who hides behind the scenes not given rational evidence would lead to a high percentage of humans not believing in said “God,” etc. etc. etc.

Anyway, I think I’ll stop hitting myself. I kinda feel like it was like an intuitive thing. Maybe my superconsciousness or higher-self said, "This poor mortal is never going to overcome this depression. I'll have to intervene." It kinda worked LOL!!!! …….. I just can’t stop laughing………………..

Kinda thought TBI was caused more then hitting oneself...more like crashing really hard into a brick wall.

Personally has slammed my head a many of times and no difference in mental capacity...like car wrecks and fights....blood....bruises...stitches and extreme pain. Thank God that I can dissociate pain away and eat pancakes with a blood covered face the next morning.

So...I don’t get it. Hope you figure this out..are you in therapy?
-Steve

[stahrgeyzer]

Of course you can. Try it if you don't believe me.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Kinda thought TBI was caused more then hitting oneself...more like crashing really hard into a brick wall.

Personally has slammed my head a many of times and no difference in mental capacity...like car wrecks and fights....blood....bruises...stitches and extreme pain. Thank God that I can dissociate pain away and eat pancakes with a blood covered face the next morning.

So...I don’t get it. Hope you figure this out..are you in therapy?
-Steve

TBI can happen by getting hit in the head with hands, fists, playing sports, even going on fair rides can also cause physical damage to the brain (TBI), ever hear of shaken baby syndrome that tbi from a baby just getting shaken either out of anger or playing too rough. thats why many sports activities are being put on hold for children and teens, and the adults playing sports like football , baseball, soccer, wrestling, and others this year, have new rules they have to comply with. they have discovered playing sports and getting hit in the head by balls or each other causes TBI. one of my children wanted to join the wrestling in his age grouping and I had to totally outfit this child with a special padded helmet that would fit tightly and no room for the childs head to get shaken or hurt if they get bounced or accidentally slapped or other wise accidentally hit.

my point yes TBI can happen from some hitting their self in the head. all they need to do is hit or punch their self hard enough to rattle their brain against the skull.

[dlantern]

Before you get into the nuances of the those processes make sure that you know the tendencies on that particular day to figure out why it was different on those days. As if a team, or something that you know and have read ur psychic tendencies especially if knowing something intently.

[stahrgeyzer]

I was hitting myself in the side of my head as hard as possible, sometimes not as hard, dozens of times. I didn't notice it until after a lot of hits. It always leave the side of my head feeling sore and bruised every time. It's usually sore even a week after.

I wouldn't hit the front of your head. That's your frontal lobe, the most advanced part of your brain. You might end up a zombie if you do that too many times. That's the only part of my brain that I cherish. Some parts of the brain is primitive, mostly the back part of the brain.

[stahrgeyzer]

I had no clue it would cause temporary and even permanent brain damage and was surprised. Don't hit yourself hard in the head unless you want brain damage. It's very real.

[stahrgeyzer]

Everything's returned back to normal. It must have been what they call temporary brain damage. My hand motor skills is back to normal. Unfortunately my depression and strong desire to end myself has returned as well.

R u ok??

[Michael W. Harris]

Electroshock therapy just erases memory. Sometimes and only sometimes removing a bad memory or thought pattern may help. I personally believe that shock therapy is abuse. It is a con game played by morons in the mental health professions.

My Mother was given massive doses of shock back in about 1967. It did not help her mental health problems. I damaged her memory. You see, it hurts just like being tazered by the police. Eventually the patient will decide that he/she does not want to be hurt anymore. Then they just tell the mental health professional what they need to hear to stop the pain. This psychology should be common sense. Common sense does not seem to be taught in psychology or psychiatry!!

[stahrgeyzer]

Beating myself in my head completely took away my depression for 10 days. It always gave me noticeably bad hand coordination for a few days. My dumb brain reconnected all of the synopsis. Scientists used to think the brain can't heal itself, which was as stupid as believing machines can't fly. These days scientists know full well the brain not only heals itself, but they have tons of visual proof that the brain is constantly changing on a physical level. It's called pruning and plasticity.

I've been hitting myself even harder lately whenever I get angry. So far no bad side effects.

[Michael W. Harris]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Beating myself in my head completely took away my depression for 10 days. It always gave me noticeably bad hand coordination for a few days. My dumb brain reconnected all of the synopsis. Scientists used to think the brain can't heal itself, which was as stupid as believing machines can't fly. These days scientists know full well the brain not only heals itself, but they have tons of visual proof that the brain is constantly changing on a physical level. It's called pruning and plasticity.

I've been hitting myself even harder lately whenever I get angry. So far no bad side effects.

Isn't hitting yourself in the head the same thing as when people cut or burn themselves? The physical pain somehow eases the emotional pain. Or at least that is what I am told.

[stahrgeyzer]

It isn't the same for me. When I use to cut myself it felt good. Like a deep satisfying feeling as if you're crushing something really bad. Or maybe kinda like picking a scab and crushing it. When I hit myself in the head it's an anger outburst.

Cutting gave me a quick pleasure, but doesn't last that long. Heading myself in the head never gave any quick pleasure, but took away my depression for about 10 days but that might have been only by luck. I probably just got lucky one time hit myself in the right place.

[Michael W. Harris]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

It isn't the same for me. When I use to cut myself it felt good. Like a deep satisfying feeling as if you're crushing something really bad. Or maybe kinda like picking a scab and crushing it. When I hit myself in the head it's an anger outburst.

Cutting gave me a quick pleasure, but doesn't last that long. Heading myself in the head never gave any quick pleasure, but took away my depression for about 10 days but that might have been only by luck. I probably just got lucky one time hit myself in the right place.

I just get drunk when I am that bad. I subconsciously will shame myself. I will do things that shame me so bad if I was normal I would want to commit suicide. I now understand that this comes from my Mother and Brother shaming me constantly during my early toddler years. They did not care about my feelings: psychological and emotional welfare. So I have alters that take the place of my Mother and Brother. Or you can say that subconsciously I have a drive to shame myself. That is how I self harm.

[stahrgeyzer]

Does anyone have alters who are like a master or who have the answer to everything?

[stahrgeyzer]

Supposedly I have "brain impairment."