[Kiya]

it is interesting to stand back (sometimes not by choice) and be an observer to the system. Today i have been reading a book on DID/MPD which turns out to be a whole lot of other ppls experiences with living with this.

I found my nails being painted black with a blood red top coat (from halloween) and understand that this is so there will be no SI. well that didn't hold for long. Even the SI is very very mild, someone within the system (and i know who) was for some reason engaged - the thing i don't know is *why*. I didn't really see an overt trigger, didn't feel a mood change, no inner dialog took place. What i felt was more like an ill wind brush over me and it was done. Honestly i've had worse paper cuts. but the point, of course, is that it was done with intention on the self. I just didn't have any other outlet so i hope it was ok to write this here.

[Susan27]

(((((((( kiya )))))))))))
must've been a shock anyway to see the nails...
your story ont he shopping made me smile though. some of the items you bought are so sweet..there's definitely some self love mixed in all of this!

[Kiya]

Susan - glad to see you around still - I wondered where you had gone. =)

[Susan27]

hiya. i'm still here. just went thru a silent phase i guess. feeling kinda down too. have had a back spasm for 7 days and it sometimes gets aggravated when i'm typing on the computer.

i'll write more in the next couple of days i think.

thanks for noticing by the way
susan

a wind.... blowing.... I can so relate to this.... no overt trig...

it is very shocking isn't it... and hard....

(((hugs)))

[kimmydawn]

I'm sorry that you had a difficult experience with this. I hope you're feeling better tonight?

I can so relate to what you're talking about. It can be a great learning tool about self and triggers, etc.

What was really cool for me was that I also had some very, very sweet times that I could watch as well. I hope you're able to experience that soon, if you haven't already.

KD

[Kiya]

Kimmy, I like your little lion and lamb pic up there - and isn't that just it? They're both "cubs", kids... kids don't know differences and hatred until later. I could never picture the traditional "lion and lamb" with a full grown king of beasts and a little baby lamb... but this pic is much more real. Two kids that haven't yet learned that they can't play together. You were talking about observing some sweet times, and i have - a long while ago. My youngest part is pretty much integrated with one other part now, but before that happened, I did watch a really sweet point. My family being what it was, my dad often was prejudgist (can't spell today) against many kinds of people - and then if i copied him (to be liked by him) he would put me down hard. On day about 4 years ago i guess now i saw a man who would have been judged by my dad. The part that is like him did the judging for him. I asked the system how we could re-state that so that we are not being negative. My wee one answered that he is a human being and we need to respect him. I cried. It was a very sweet moment.