[Kiya]

Had a migraine at noon, took an Excedrin Migraine –an hour later, no headache. Another hour, super caffeine high/hyper-ness. Time to go home, caffeine jitters. Eat dinner, do my paper due tonight, go to choir…. On the way there I notice the car headlights are brighter than usual and hurting my eyes. I get there, am fine… we do the song with my solo – that’s fine. Next song, I notice that the piano notes are like nails through my ears. I notice we’ll be doing the 3 pieces I loathe. Next song, I have my fingers stuffed in my ears. As it continues (and the hated songs get closer) I notice my head it splitting with the jarring notes of both piano and sopranos that I moved next to to get away from the piano. The hated songs are next, I tell everyone I have a migraine and go home. Trying to get to my car, I can’t see the road because it is so far below me, my feet must not be touching the ground. I start crying because I feel so unstable, and I might fall off the ground. I can’t tell if I’ll fall down because I mis-step, or if I’ll fall up into the sky and be lost forever. I cry harder wondering how I’m going to drive the winding back country roads and no one is around to help me, even if they wanted to. I finally make it to my car, strip off my 2 outer coats, and just sob. It’s not that there’s pain in my head…. But that every noise makes a vibration that courses through my entire body and my head. The headlights are so bad I can’t go faster than 10 mph to stay on the road – I finally wear my sunglasses all the way. I pass a Target – next thing I know my car is pulling into the Target. A little has taken over and wants a toy. We can’t leave until we get a toy. She wants a My Little Pony. We go in and there’s a bag of Blow Pop Charms suckers in my hand… then highlighters... then there are no MLPs that she wants… but next isle there’s a care bear. Back out in the parking lot, there is no headache. I don’t have to drive with sunglasses… Fun Shine Care Bear is now sitting on my bed with me and there is cherry gum in my mouth from the Blow Pop.
So what happened? A real migraine? A PTSD Response to music I hate- flee? Switching?

[MissCharlotte]

((((Kiya))))

It sounds like your inner child demanded attention and you took good care of her.

I know for me, acknowledgement and taking care are two big pieces of the puzzle that I am.

Lots of hugs.

[Fuzzybear]

[MissCharlotte]

Kiya,

I think I have your little girl to thank for this.

Yesterday at the mall I was overwhelmed with the urge to go in to the Build a Bear Workshop and get myself a teddy.

$44. later I have the cutest bear. She has a growl if you press her hand and a heartbeat when you hug her. She has a little shirt with red hearts and red shoes just like Dorothy had in the Wizard of Oz.

I named her and gave her a birth certificate.

Sheesh. I never had one of these but would have loved it when I was little. But, my little girl within loves it now.

xoxoxoxoxo

Charlotte

(formerly known as sister)

[Kiya]

yessssssss there are quite the number of toys around this house, i must say.

I'm glad you put your former name in there - i'm gettin confused with several ppl changing their names.

i like the sparkly pic!! you always find the best pics