[Monty_girl]

I know this is an anxiety issue. I'm just more comfortable posting it in DID forum. Just feels safer here for us. With that said. :icon_sad:

I don't leave the house much. I go to the grocery store once a week on sundays and to the gym 2 times a week. Small gym, when we go I'll be the only person in the exercise room on the trademills. And I go to therapy once a month. This is the only time I leave the house. As long as I know what time and day I leave the house I'm OK so to speak.

Talked to hubby a little while ago and he informs me, we need to go to the mall in the morning to pay the cell bill. THE MALL !!!! I'm wigging out. It's like I can feel the panic setting in. I can feel the panic attack almost coming on. Why can't ppl just leave things a certain way. :girl(sad):

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((((Monty))))))))))))) Can hubby go pay the bill by self or can you wait in the car while he goes in the mall? I understand the anxiety associated with the Mall.

Please take gentle care of selves Monty.

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((Monty girl)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Do you need to go with him to pay the bill?

BB

[Monty_girl]

BB, I want to get out of the house. I just can't handle going anywhere. Does that make any sense?

Wantt, I'm not sure if I can handle sitting in the car alone.

I guess what bothers me is that I actually feel the emotions now. This is what I mean. This is the second time I've been homebound like this. The first time we were 19, I would cry and get upset anytime we were made to leave the house. But back then I didn't "FEEL" the emotions. I had them but didn't feel them. Like I was numb to my own emotions. So I would get upset. But it didn't bother me. I didn't sit at home and worry about the next time I was forced to leave the house.

Now I feel the anxiety/ panic. I feel my body as well. Can feel the heat and sweat in my body. The shaking and the lack of breath that's happening. It's like I get a panic from feeling the emotions.

(((((((((((((((((((( Monty girl )))))))))))))))))))))

Good luck today.

I wonder if there is somewhere less scary you could go, so you could still get out of the house? I think the mall is really hard. I wonder if you could stay home while H goes to the mall, and then you and he could go somewhere a little easier? A walk in the park, maybe? A bookstore? (those are the two places *I* would pick! lol)

Thinking of you...

[Monty_girl]

Maybe he can drop me off at the bookstore across the street while he goes into the mall to pay the bill. The days I go to T I go to the bookstore after T. I have a wait sometimes to pick H up from work and have an hour or so to waste till he's off from work.

Live out in the country, so it would take a lot of gas to go alone then come back to get me to go to the grocery. I like going to the grocery now.

[Monty_girl]

OH I figured it out. I found a store that wasn't in the mall we went to pay the bill at. HAPPY DANCE

[bipolar_bear]

I am so happy you found that store.

BB

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Monty ))))))))))))))
:Heart:

[silver_queen]

Originally Posted by Monty_girl

OH I figured it out. I found a store that wasn't in the mall we went to pay the bill at. HAPPY DANCE

((((((( Monty ))))))))

I am glad you found a place to go which wasn't in the mall. And well done on getting out of the house at an unscheduled time, too

[Monty_girl]

I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm already gotten myselves upset about having to go to T next week. I drop h off at work normally and have the car to go to T then pick h up after my app. Last month someone inside took us out to the country. It was a few hours before we got home and alomost missed our app. But that's not scaring me as bad as actually being alone outside of the house. I'm alomost to the point of being terrified. What happens if I get pulled over or something. Or have an accident. I can't let that happen. I need to stay home.

[multipixie9]

MontyGirl,

Someone is doing something that may sabotage your healing time with your T.

Please don't let anyone stop you from going to the T. That is how you will get your life back. Can you talk to your insiders and ask them to cooperate and help you get to the T??? If another part likes to go for drives in the country maybe you and your h. could go for a Sunday ride in the country...

I am struggling with not wanting to go out or even move from my chair. I sympathize with how scary it is to finally feel the emotions. Eventually we find out emotions just are. They don't hurt us, they are us being human.

I know you will find a way to work this out; I just wanted to say please don't let anything take away your time to work on issues with the T, that time is just tooo important!!!

Leslie and Her Pixies

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((monty))))))))))))))
I'm so sorry you are struggling so. I hope things calm down for you soon.