Dissociated when driving on the highway. Felt like I had no control over the car what so ever. I had no trouble keeping my eyes open, but I felt how I was about to fall asleep over and over again. I had no clue of the speed... everything was unreal to me. Through every curve - I felt I was going to drive off the road. So scary!

I think I'm losing it! There's nothing left of me... I'm fading away faster and faster... heading towards disaster.

I've not dissociated much at all for several weeks because I've been concentrating so hard on getting help for my son. Now I'm so drained... so worn out... I can't hold it together anymore. My brain is overloaded...

I have to continue... but how...? My family needs me... but I'm falling apart...

[multipixie9]

daynnight,

can you show this post to your spouse or someone you trust?

this level of dissociation and being "out of control" is very dangerous to yourself and anyone like your children driving with you.

YOU MUST SEEK IMMEDIATE HELP ASAP! FOR YOU AND FOR THEM.

What is holding you back from getting medical/psych help right now?

Please do not let fear or shame or any other feeling keep you back from the help you need.

Driving a car and losing all sense of control is like driving extremely drunk - it is HIGHLY DANGEROUS.

I am VERY CONCERNED FOR YOU!!! You need/deserve all the help it takes for things to get better for you. Call someone this morning as soon as you can!!!

[multipixie9]

dear daynnight,

i forgot to tell you that i have been where you are. i had to do the unthinkable and go to the hospital because i could not guarantee that i would not hurt myself.

my daughters were 5 and 10 years old and all my husband wanted was for me to be ok and do the housework. i had to force him to give me a ride to the hospital. if i ever have to do that again, i 'll call a cab and I WILL TAKE CARE OF ME, FOR ME. I DESERVE HELP AND SO DO YOU. PLEASE HELP U!!!!

I CARE, NINA, I CARE ABOUT YOU !!!!!

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((((daynnight)))))))))))))))))))))) Please take care of you. If it is unsafe for you to drive please find another way to get around. Please call your t and use self care. Know I am here for you.

BB

[BlueFaith]

(((( Nina )))) I agree with bipolar_bear. You NEED to call your T and let them know what's going on. This is a dangerous situation for you. You've been through alot and are still going through alot with your son, but you must remember that you have to take care of yourself too in order to be able to care for him the way you need to. I wish you the best of luck, hun. You're very special to me, and I worry about you. Please call your T. Love ya.

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((((Daynnight)))))))))))))) I know how hard that is. When son was struggling so much here, my dissociation was much worse. It's so hard when the stress levels are so high and they are because it's our children and we are emotionally attached to our children. We just want them to be okay and when no one is listening and no one is helping enough or at all, it feels like it's up to us to save our children. I rarely remember driving anywhere so I understand those feelings, although I didn't know it wasn't normal until recently. Please take care of self nina. I know it's hard. People don't understand. When it's your baby, no matter how old, you have to take care of them. But we can't fully be there for them if we don't do self care. I found it also hard reaching out for support for me because all I wanted was for my children to be ok but without support, it's almost impossible to be what we need to be and do what we need to do.

I'm glad you could reach out to us here daynnight. Please talk to T. Take a few minutes if you can and take care of self. I know it doesn't feel like you have time but I can tell you from experience that without that, life goes downhill very fast.

We care about you Daynnight.

(((((((((((((((((((((((( daynnight ))))))))))))))))))))))

Stress makes my dissociation so, so, so much worse.

Are there any steps you can take to help yourself stay safe? Maybe get someone else to drive? Do you have a T?

Please be safe. I am so sorry that you are under so much stress.

Sending many, many

((( Nina )))

When I was going through the roughest of times, I was dissing so much I was driving into oncoming traffic and into ditches. There were days I felt like I was sitting in the back seat of the car. (Part of my job requires travel.)

T had me get a kitchen timer and set it so that it would keep me in the here and now. Some days were so bad I was resetting it every three minutes.

Plus, she had me leave hourly voice mails on days I had long drives.

You and T need to figure out something that will work for you. This is not something to take lightly.

The kitchen timer idea is a great one, Orange Blossom! I'm taking notes on that one.

Thank you so much for your advice and compassionate words!

I do know I need help... the question is how to get that help...

The life for me and my family is really complicated because of our son feeling so bad.

I keep searching for the right help and resources... but...

I feel like throwing in the towel... but somehow I keep going...

I feel like an idiot writing a post crying out for help and you all trying to give me advice and still I can't get that help in this country with a so called "good healthcare system". It sucks!

[wanttoheal]

I so understand nina. We struggled with similar. I'm here if you ever need to talk.

[nightbird]

[Fuzzybear]

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Nina))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry that you have not found the help you need. know I am here if you want someone to talk to.

BB

awww... you guys... you're just amazing

thank you so much for caring about little me

please know you mean a lot to me and that I think of you too

[(JD)]

Stay safe! Keep telling yourself something like "I need to drive" in such situations. Reframing how important it is, out loud if need be, should help you in situations like that.

Thanks, sky!!!!!