Question for Multiples

Hey all, this might sound like a dumb question but I would like to ask those who are living as multiples about your system. I've sometimes heard different kinds of alters referred to by jobs or roles, like one will be the protector for the system, one will be an interface or communicator, etc. and there are Littles who are those that stayed little children, right? OK well here is my question ... when dealing with things that hurt you (all) TODAY ... not stuff that hurt you long ago like abuse stuff but things ppl do to hurt you TODAY -- mean things they say, lies that they tell, mind traps they try to put you in, etc. -- do you find that it's a grownup in your system who "takes that" (endures it) for the others? Or is it a Little???

And if it's a Little ... why does a Little get stuck doing what seems to me should be a grownup's job in the system? Because, in the "outside" world, is it not the grownups who buffer, protect and shield children, and not the other way around?

So do any of you ever find that when someone is being hurtful or mean to you here, now, today, that it's a Little that gets stuck having to put up with it, having to feel the feelings it causes, a Little who feels it and reacts to it? I'm just wondering. If my question sounds stupid or is in some other way offensive I apologize.

the only time a child comes out when something bad is going on is if that child is specifically triggered out. for instance, there were some posts about a week ago with some "bickering". well shelley came out. she doesn't like arguing or discord of any kind. another reason i think she came out is the fact that she does have a role. she hid the children when we were younger, so she was checking out possible need there.

as far as other children coming out here, it's rare. they have to be triggered out and for a very specific reason. now, they come out and play, etc and i don't remember a thing. one night i stayed in a hotel by myself recently and don't remember much of the night because i think the children were having a free for all! all my makeup was out, clothes, etc.

other than that i just don't know alot. there are mostly adults that deal with things here when necessary i think, i don't remember most of it. i'm getting to where i can sense if a child'd scared now. at the hospital the other day when we went to see little brother, a child knew that he was locked in and was afraid the same would happen to us.

i think children aren't made to come out to deal with things too much for them. i think children are triggered out due to what they're role was for the child. they need to check the safety of it or whoosh, they're just pulled into the front because of the trigger that applies to them. not necessarily that the "system' has gotton together and decided they're going to make a child go thru something unpleasant. that's the way it is here anyhow.

i know also, if a child's out enjoying and something triggery happens, well, the child might get upset cause they're already out or close to "the front"

i know i'm not explaining it well. it's hard to put into words, even for t.

i hope that answers it for you as far as one multiple goes. in fewer words, children here aren't made to come out and deal with something. if it's something they handled for the child and a trigger comes along about whatever it was they did, they're triggered and react more than anything.

be safe,

kd

by the way, that's a very good question. one i've asked myself. it's a good point and hard to understand. the only understanding i have of it is what i told you. i'm VERY interested to hear what others say possibly that i can look at it in a different light as well.

you were not offensive in any shape form or manner.

kd

Generally the little ones stay hidden
Angie

I only have 2 children inside, that I know of anyways. One never comes out, the other is like my safety valve. She doesn't do any other 'job' besides her own, just like the rest of us do. Plus she only comes out when it's safe, when I'm alone. So she doesn't have to "take that" in the real world.
It is a good question though! It's not stupid. They say the only dumb question is the unasked one.
Love,
RhysMadison

You're question is not stupid and yes many are children who come out and protect or get triggered out. They are not like children who have never experianced anything. They are childeren with many experiances so some times they really do not seem to child like. Don't know if that makes any sence to you. More like children who've had to grow up quickly in a sence.
larks

Thanks everyone for your answers. They have been enlightening and informative.

In my experience with DID people, there are both types of alters... those who only dealt with what happened THEN and those who also deal with what is happening NOW. For instance, if IRL some teenager is giving the DID person static or "lip" then the "teenager" inside would be the one to deal with it. (Perhaps what is called being triggered.)

There can easily be more than one adult, also, even if the reason for the DID was formed in childhood. Some alters don't age, others do. So one might have an adult who does the bookkeeping, another who makes the calls for information and social contact, and still another who goes to work!

Some alters have personal names, others take the names of their "job" and still others might not have any name in effort to stay safe or anonymous. And there are those alters who need to be protected, often "littles" who may not have experienced anything negative, but were protected by the creation of an alter.

Many child alters, while retaining many aspects of a typical child, can also have mature thinking or abilities that they" received " from an older alter. (Such as use of some words, being able to type, or color well.. etc.)

well done, sky.

kd

ty kimmy I needed to hear that at least one more time...

Auntie Sky
Amy

That explains it pretty well. My people don't have fancy names; they are named for what they are.
Love,
RhysMadison

Hello. SOME times no body handles it. Some times I get stuck wsith stuff because it will not hurt me may be be cause I am too dumb to understand what is going on. ONE time all the adults and nona too were so upset wsith the T that no one drove us home and I sat in the car for hours. Guess it just depends what went on.

Yo!
I realize you posted this back aa while; but "we" are 8 individuals/every has their "speciality"; a situation calls for a specific problem, we take a vote & someone volunteers. Unfortunately, the "little ones" sometimes get triggered & freaks before "another" can respond to the situation. But after 18 years of this diagnosis; you learn, every one inside grows = to the actual, physical body personality. Hope this helps a little? Any more questions about Multiples? I'm a PRO! Godspeed.......

Hi, I don't think it's a stupid question. And no two multiples are ever the same as well. When it comes to dealing with a situation it just really depends on what kind of situation it is. In my system there are 23 of us, so it gets really noisy and confusing a lot of the time. We have atlers and fragments. But many of my alters who deal with things are my emotional alters. Since I'm still learning what emotions are and how to express them in the right way. Many times if I'm triggered one of my emotional alters will take over for me. I know of one who my T and I are having to deal with now has grown with the body and is young then I am, but she is not a child. But I have a large number of child alters. And one who Loves to come out and watch TV. She also has my husband wrapped around her little finger and can get him to buy any toy she see's in the store.

Monty

((((((((((((((((((((monty)))))))))))))))))))) so good to see you here!!!!!!!

TY ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Wantt ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm still nervous about it all yet.
Monty

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Because, in the "outside" world, is it not the grownups who buffer, protect and shield children, and not the other way around?

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we do not find your question stupid but would like to point out the incongruity of the above statement were the grownups to buffer and protect this body when it was young would we be here? doubtfully

sorry we were just a bit hurt by that statement and needed to voice an opinion and be heard to make things right with us
thank you
KC

Hi Malady,

This is the problem that i'm having bigtime now- every time someone doesn't understand something that a part does or just gets unreasonably angry and dumps on or even threatens me i switch to a little one. It's an unconcious thing. i can't help it. i need to find a way not let this happen because we're getting so upset and exhausted, losing it and crying in public out loud like a baby every day- because my family is not helping , not supportive at all.
When a little is out, they don't think that there is a big one. i remember later that my little opened a car door in the middle of the road and stepped out and cried uncontrollably yesterday in the middle of the afternoon near my workplace after being picked up from work.

Today a little cried like that again- a horribly loud and out of control sobbing because of threatening unfair personal criticism and negativity at home. We can't handle it when we're little. i don't know how to change it because i don't have communication. i wish it didn't happen. It is the worst feeling that you can ever have. It's like there is no one in the world that cares about you. There's so much a lack of control it's scary.

You're right, it isn't fair for a child part to take that kind of a. but it happens with me a lot and i don't know what to do to change it. i can't control switching or comfort my littles because they don't know me.

It's a mess. i wish i knew what to do.

kerria
(we've been away for a while and sometimes too afraid to post again. It always seems to end up that there aren't any answers for the dilemmas that we get ourselves into).

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Hi Malady,

This is the problem that i'm having bigtime now- every time someone doesn't understand something that a part does or just gets unreasonably angry and dumps on or even threatens me i switch to a little one. It's an unconcious thing. i can't help it. i need to find a way not let this happen because we're getting so upset and exhausted, losing it and crying in public out loud like a baby every day- because my family is not helping , not supportive at all.
When a little is out, they don't think that there is a big one. i remember later that my little opened a car door in the middle of the road and stepped out and cried uncontrollably yesterday in the middle of the afternoon near my workplace after being picked up from work.

Today a little cried like that again- a horribly loud and out of control sobbing because of threatening unfair personal criticism and negativity at home. We can't handle it when we're little. i don't know how to change it because i don't have communication. i wish it didn't happen. It is the worst feeling that you can ever have. It's like there is no one in the world that cares about you. There's so much a lack of control it's scary.

You're right, it isn't fair for a child part to take that kind of a. but it happens with me a lot and i don't know what to do to change it. i can't control switching or comfort my littles because they don't know me.

It's a mess. i wish i knew what to do.

kerria
(we've been away for a while and sometimes too afraid to post again. It always seems to end up that there aren't any answers for the dilemmas that we get ourselves into).

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Kerria,

I am deeply thankful for your post here. At last I don't feel like a freak or like I'm all alone. Even though I'm not MPD/DID, what you describe is exactly what I experience. I become little myself, or else I become "a little" the same way a MPD/DID person would only without the MPD/DID if that makes any sense. It just hits all at once and there's nothing I can do. There's no one there to take care of me. One time Little Me left the car when Big Me's boyfriend was yelling. He drove away and left "us" there, probably thinking I was being a jerk and would come to my senses. I did, 6 miles to the nearest gas station with tears running down my cheeks and blisters on my feet having to call him to come get "us". I'm not making any sense I know but it was the Little Me that did that and in a perfect world someone else would know it was a little kid not the adult it appears and do what's necessary to take care of it.

Thanks again for posting.
Mal.