Alters & Medical/Health Issues

Thanks for all this! It's helpful! Do different alters present with different emotional/mental diagnosis too eg Depression, Borderline etc? I'm guessing the answer to that is affirmative.

In the last year my inside family has begun to talk/communicate (dare I even say integrate! There is a slight uprising when I state that). For me this is 'key', albeit at times overwhelming, dialogue, dialogue, dialogue!

I am 50lbs over weight (most I've ever been) and I think it is my Depressed alter. I sometimes hobble around with her like I'm really old (like 90) (not just old, like I am).

Recently, I discovered I am also likely ADD. The reasons were so traumatic that I could and can barely mention them. It explains sooo much but I am unclear as to what physical ailments are connected there to her.

One alter used to be hopelessly allergic to milk products, but now, with a bit of digestive enzyme, and having faced, and worked through an issue around my husband, all is well, most of the time.

Other medical symptoms arise and recede depending on who's around but, I am noticing, I can tell who is presenting, by the symptom,. So there is a positive to all this fufurough !

Communicating all these alters to the outside world has been and is a task! Thanks for being here on this site! I am learning I am not alone by reading you posts and then feeling less alone.

Take care, everyone and thanks again for asking this question. I feel almost normal (I know there are so many implications when I use that word) when I hear I am NOT the ONLY one!

I don't do hugs super well but this time I am VERY appreciative!

I would have to say YES, many alters carry different emotions & memories for us as well as different medical problems and at times different mental health issues... DID is defiantly a disorder to be reckoned with (one way or another).

'Reckoned with', yes, Rhapsody, that is a good way to describe the challenge that it is.

That is why it is so neat for me to have been able to read some posts here. To read the struggles and success, more struggles and more successes from the very people going through them has been such a relief to me. For many years, I have wanted to have some kind of 'get together' with others in my predicament but to no avail until learning of PC.

Somehow, this format, of typing and reading seems to work for me. To be able to carry on with the work I need to do. To alleviate some of the lonliness.

"That part has integrated.Bercitis in my shoulder and arthritis in my elbows(not documented)That part of me has been integrated."

I am wondering how you know and how you integrated. Off the topic here but since I am working on this I am wondering, if you don't mind sharing, briefly, what your steps to integration are, were?

Integration is done with a trained T over a long period of time, and it can involve many things.... from psychotherapy, journaling, exploring your base belief system, hypnosis, validation, time with each alter, a life line map, mock confrontations with those that wronged you, to supervised anger management with a tennis racket and a pillow used as the source of your pain, etc.

I was lucky to have found two specialist trained in DID treatment and an out patient program that dealt specifically with DID... I struggled and over came a lot with in the eight straight years I spent in T as an in & out patient and during this time I went from 15 indiviual alters down to just two w/ a few fragments.

I am able to cope better with life now and my emotions are slowly becoming mine to own... this happened as the integration of my alters took place over years of therapy... some of the alters went without me knowing it (I later felt the loss of there presence, pain, issues) while others said their final good byes - my oldest and most wise alter literally died at age 78, but not until she let me know that I was strong enough to care for the little ones.

Living with DID is a very complicated and often stressful time in life for both the patient and their family / friends.

Dear Rhapsody,

"I am able to cope better with life now and my emotions are slowly becoming mine to own... this happened as the integration of my alters took place over years of therapy..."

I long for and look forward to this concept coming to fruition in my life. Thank you for sharing what a picture of 'integration' can look like.

"Some of the alters went without me knowing it (I later felt the loss of there presence, pain, issues)"

Did you miss their presence? I don't mean the 'painful' ones so much but the others that all of a sudden you realized were gone that had helped you?

"while others said their final good byes - my oldest and most wise alter literally died at age 78,"

I'm just loving the way you put this. You show love and respect for them.

"but not until she let me know that I was strong enough to care for the little ones."

Brings tears to my eyes to read this and see the care and concern and love. They left you quite a legacy, it appears. I would like to know more about the taking care of the little ones, if you want to PM or say. Or, if not, that is fine too.

Although, I have been doing this for eight long years too, I am now on the threshold of walking more fully into the integration. Yes, some has occured subtley but I know some will need some conscious bidding farewell.

I'm new at this PC site and it has been a joy to find people like me at all stages of health. I have not known others like me, to talk to on an ongoing basis, throughout these many years, so, as you can imagine, I am a little overwhelmed. I am also very grateful to have this site.

"Living with DID is a very complicated and often stressful time in life for both the patient and their family / friends"

Yes, it has been awful at times but also amazingly has brought us together in a manner that I don't think will ever be really fully understood except to say: "Amazing!"

Thanks, so much, for sharing your process.

Grateful, very grateful

I can't say that I missed them per say... as I was already working hard in T to integrate all my alters back into just one (me) - but I can say that I felt the loss (absence) of their ways, thoughts and actions - that which told me they had left and I had become stronger.

Dear Self,

I am realizing now that all my ailments (see profile) only occur one at a time, which is leaving me to think that most of them are DID related - brought on or out depending on which alter is active... now to figure out which ailments are real and need medical help "verses" which ones are more of a body memory and can be dealt with as needed.

Sincerely,
Carolyn -

Dear Carolyn/Rhap
I just had the same conversation with my dr. Each time i see her (monthly) and go over symptoms, she tells me they are emotional. The last time, when she asked about my symptoms, i lost my temper (and "whoever was in front" moved) and said "They're all emotional!!!" (half hysterical) "Why should it matter then!?!?!" My poor dr looked at me with a wise look and said "You're a smart girl... it must be difficult for you. When you heal all those core wounds, you'll do anything you want to do!"
@_@ Carolyn, I feel your pain, compassion for self, frustration, and the urge to "get to the bottom of this"... In there with ya, Kiya

Wow, Kiya, I am kinda jealous of your dr. He seems to really care about you.

We have something that happens to us that is medical. Medicines do not seem to work on us. What I mean is that pain meds and psych meds do not seem to be effective on us. Drives us bonkers. It made a dental problem I had this past week-10 days so much worse. the day they did the root canal on an abscessed tooth no amount of painkiller worked. We finally took 3x the amount normally given and it did not even kill the pain and we did not even know we had it inside our system because nobody was at all blurry. it's not that we think it is ok to be taking too much pain medicine, but it just wouldn't work on us. boy i hate this when it happens.
ggrrrr.

leslie and her pixies

Made me think...

some times I have to take double the dose to get some Rx meds to work... maybe its because I need one and she needs one?
- - - - - some thing to think about.

Leslie - yeah i am really, super lucky to have found this dr - she really does care about me (and sees herself in me, too, she told me once).

On the medicines... there is no constant. Often I am really super sensitive to things... only to have them suddenly not work at all; sleep meds, forget it. It is hard to regulate when it's all over the map and *how* they work varies.

Well Kiya, we sure don't get bored do we??? we may feel all sorts of things but boredom, nope!!! hugs, kiya!

leslie/pixies

Wow I can't believe it.... I was watching Scrubs on TV and what were they talking about, Broken Heart Syndrome, a woman was admitted to the hospital with heart failure, but had no signs of heart blockage - her condition was emotional and not physical.... so I looked it up and Broken Heart Syndrome does exist... TV can be educational.

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/press.../02_10_05.html

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/asc/faqs.html

hm! we're so smart we could be on Scrubbs
very interesting about that condition!!

Rhapsody,

Thanks! This is so interesting! One reason I went into therapy was for what I thought was anxiety. After being in therapy a number of years I noticed that the tightness around my heart didn't leave. Why, even though therapy was excellent. Well, through a series of events my GP asked me to do a stress test, which I did. My heart did it's thing (which I used to think was anxiety). But no, it wasn't anxiety, it was what they diagnosed as mild aterial (sp) ventricular tachychardia. Sounds big but really it's rapid heart rate. It is a common form of the rapid heart beat. When I get it now I have to cough, sing or drink a cold glass of water.

I was reading the info on the sites above and thinking, yes, that happens to me too (not an emergency thankfully but feels like what they describe).

So to unravel this PTSD, tachychardia, cardiomyopathy (type symptoms) I have to:

Sleep, eat and exercise well, not too much caffein, go to my OEI therapy, breathe deeply and calmly, use a relaxation tape, do calming activities like yoga or ?, have relaxing bubble baths, walk, swim, do artwork, remove myself from stressors (if possible), become aware when I am obsessing and say it's now and not back then, do nice things for me and others, post on PC, take care of my grandchildren. There is so much to do, I think this will take me the rest of my born days. Oh well what else was I doing?

Ice

I have found this to be the ability in.............disability
it is what I percieve as a heathy discipline......to take care of all of me....
definately interesting......and eventually predictable.....not like before
morning meditation
internal communication
exercise......I do what I like....something that keeps my interests.....
I try to eat healthy.........healing foods....or chi food
and study complimentary alternitive medicine.............energy work

This is just a brief description of were and how I started and continue to this day. I had to do something I could take with me werever I went,
because of did, homelessness is a major part of my story.I moved and bounced around to four different places last year.....that was just one year of many. I strive today for external stability, but it starts with internal communication.

Thanks Ice.........................ST...............focusing on the solution

Sparrowstail,

Someone lives life, another observes.

I love bird's tails!

The bird they are connected to usually is able to care for itself/ves and by the way have you ever tried to figure out how birds instinctively know how to move together in the sky. No one has a whistle up there, as far as I know.

See, the birds of the air don't worry.

They make a beautiful nest every year. Tents, Igloos, Doorways. Moving with the bison, moving with the cariboo, moving with the pain, moving with the seasons.

When I was in Sunday school and looked up to the window way above the children's head I wondered if God could see us through the window. He would see the sparrow, but would he see me way under the ground in the Sunday shool classroom. (this period is a matter of fact)

God sees the little sparrow fall it meets His 'Tender View'
If God so loves the little things, I know he loves me too.
But can God see through the Sunday school windows?

Frustrated.... a familiar theme of being sick and having symptoms, only to go to the dr and the symptoms don't show up. Nothing is found. Now I am at home again, with a terrible cough... and dr's saying "I can't find anything wrong with you". same with my dissability apnts... and you think we switched out during our psych eval? nope - not that he would have seen... the switch from kiya to kristin is not noticable (except to me who can tell that what ever she ate will make the body ill). so frustrating. Oh and she didn't give full reports on things, so only half the info got to him. Naturlich.

All has been CALM with in my body the last week and I have to say that CALM in my body is a strange feeling for me.... I wonder if this is the calm before the storm -

I'm still having some symptoms but over I have to say they are bearable - with a few intense moments. Will this CALM remain?

Oh I hope the calm stays a while Rhap - that would be lovely! GIve you time to get used to it =)

I am the same way! My glasses come off when certain alters are out. some of them don't even bother to remove them and just put up with the distortion. I have missed placed them before for a long period of time because they were removed.

I am glad to see that I am not the only one that has that problem. Thanks for sharing.

yeah, same here poohbear. the other night in T's lobby, i was feeling very young and noticed I was reading my book (Harry Potter) with one eye closed again... that's the reason i got glasses in the first place. Not that they were with me... the new host doesn't need them.