Is this dissociation?

I'm new here and I have a question. I was wondering if what I have is a dissociative disorder. I started regressing when I was 15 years old (I'm 19 now) during a severe depression. I regress into a 2 year old and a baby of I'd say 9 months. When I'm regressed my thoughts typically race. I'm either very happy, talkative, and clingy or very scared and vulnerable. Most of the time I can control the regression although sometimes it happens by itself when I'm overwhelmed or just whenever. When I'm younger I go by the same name though sometimes I put "Baby" in front of it. My handwriting is sloppier when I'm regressed. My little self is obsessed with Barney the Dinosaur, my stuffed animals, and sucking my finger or pacifier.

I don't really think that I have DID because I can remember everything I was doing and thinking after I regressed. I never lose track of time. I don't recall that anything traumatic happened to me at any age.

I enjoy regressing immensely. I often wish I could stay regressed forever. I'm worried that I'll start regressing more often and that it will become a problem. Should I see a therapist that specializes in dissociative disorders?

kinda know what you mean,
have similar thing it started that way
sometimes kid. Call her the kid. She just wants to play
sometimes she's really scared though... as I started to feel like that more and had to actually face things, scary for something that can't understand
not sure hwat it is but ... you'r enot alone I'll try reply later I"m a bit outta it right now myself but, just wanted you to know
similar thing here... theres kinda a page on it in my blog, but I 'll tell you about how it started... that's probably more like what you're feeling i think... sorry not now

And welcome to pc

Hi Anirtak,

Welcome to PC!

I cannot really say whether or not what you're experiencing is dissociation, but there definitely is a difference between regression and dissociation. You may find this explanation helpful in helping you figure out what's going on.

Regression
Regression involves the reversion to an earlier stage of development in the face of unacceptable impulses. When we are faced with anxiety, we tend to retreat, as if in a "psychological time machine," to the point in time when we last felt secure and safe—our childhood. Under stress, or in an anxiety-provoking situation, people very often can become more childish and primitive. Even an adult may want to curl up in bed in a fetal position.

Regression is an attempt to recapture some childhood satisfaction by relating to the world in a way that was formerly effective (even though no longer so), and giving up mature problem solving methods of dealing with challenges. It is as if the person is trying to "please the world" in the way he or she tried to please his or her parents in childhood. In such cases, people do not carry out consciously planned, rational actions, but rather fall back on old childhood habits that return automatically.

Dissociation
Dissociation usually stems from a trauma, intense pain, or a serious identity crisis. It may manifest itself in disorders such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, memory loss, Multiple Personality Disorder, Dissociative Amnesia, as well as the more common phenomena of flashbacks, and forgetting something embarrassing.

However, in dissociation memories are not just lost in the subconscious (as in repression) but they are splintered and distorted. It is as if under intense stress the ability of the consciousness to include all the thoughts, emotions, and somatic sensations fails, and some aspects become separated and inaccessible. Thus, a person may remember what happened, but forget how it felt. Or, a person may feel depersonalized, like a robot.

http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Defense_mechanism

IF there is one thing I want people to be educated about DID it is that there are cases (like my self) where a person with DID is aware of what their alters are doing, feeling & saying.... even though we (the host body - the physical person) are not able to stop any actions or thoughts of the alters.

Please follow up with your doctor is you having these issues on a regular basis... you will be off for having sought help.

Thanks turquoisesea for all you said!

Orange_Blossom,

I'm not sure if what I do is regress or dissociate but thanks for the information. If it's regression then it is really severe regression. I really believe I am younger. If I raise my arm or look at how long my leg is I get a weird feeling like those can't be mine. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Rhapsody,

Sorry , I didn't know. I can make a conscious decision to stop being little but it takes some willpower.

Thank you all!

It doesn't sound like a dissociative disorder to me, but I definitely think you should get help if it's interfering with your daily life. Welcome to PC.

thanks for posting this Rhapsody... I'm curious to know more about it,... I always though you had to have the amnesia to be labeled "DID"...

Have you talked to your T about this? I think it's definitely worth asking her/him about. If you explained it just like you did for us, T would be able to help you sort it out or refer you to a specialist if that's what you think you need.

I'm wondering if it could be tied to your OCD? You might want to research that a bit as well or talk with the T or Dr. who diagnosed you. Regression and dissociation are both defense mechanisms against something we can't face.

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OCD is essentially defined as an anxiety disorder. The mind is filled with thoughts "If I fail to do something or forget to do something a negative will happen to me".

This thought is often fed from some subconscious connection of a past event in life. As an example, the person may have been told something when they were a child. “If you don't X you will get Y". Because of this a fear develops and becomes rooted deep in the subconscious mind.

It did not matter if there was any basis or actual fact that supports the reason. Because of lack of real life experience to test the statement the thought is accepted as factual.

Once that happens it becomes part of the foundation of that persons logic and thinking.Another example would be a traumatic experience.

A specific action to escape or end the traumatic event could be repeated to assure that the situation will not come back.

http://www.johnthornley.com/html/ocd.html

I kinda do this too. I flicker between adult and child. They're very separate but still very me.