[Poohbear13]

My therapist keeps telling me to work on containment of my parts. I feel like I am failing at this aspect of my recovery. I feel I have no control as to when my parts come out of their rooms in their house. I also feel that I have no control over when they come out and take over me. Their emotions and actions seem to just take over and I have no control over it. What exactly is containment and does anyone else have this problem? Can anyone give me suggestions as to what I can do to improve my containment?

[Jewels]

When you are very newly diagnosed, and even sometimes when you are years down the road, there come times when you can't control who comes out, who stays out, and who runs the show. For a T to say that to a person, imho it is way out of line. Especially when he doesn't give you any direction on how to go about doing that, or what he expects of you, etc. That is very insensitive, unempathetic and just plain wrong. Learning how to "contain" your alters takes years, and still there is no sure-fire plan to do so if something triggered you so badly that it all came spilling out during a stressful moment. I would go back and ask the T exactly what it was that he is expecting you to do, and ask him how to go about doing it. Ask him what about your not containing "them" bothers him. Is he used to dealing with alters? Is he used to dealing with MPD/DID patients? Does he have knowledge of how to teach them to begin cooperating with you?

If T doesn't know these things, then perhaps you need to switch T. It doesn't help any of us if our T doesn't know how to treat us. The same would apply to a person with heart disease. You wouldn't want to go to a specialist who deals with hemorrhoids when it's your heart that's the problem. Sorry. Just an example of how to choose your T.

Best wishes for you and your journey.

Beth protector of Jewels

[possum220]

Dear Pooh Bear,



Like Jewels mentioned - ask your T to give you instructions on how to contain the others parts.

When I have 'others' come out, they normally recede when the trigger goes away. Sometimes one of them stays out for ages... but it will settle when the stress levels are down (even if it does take days).

I have no idea how one gets 'containment'. Containment sounds like shutting a part down? Isn't that how we get DID in the first place?

Possum

[multipixie9]

reporters on tv talk about "containing a fire" or "containing an oil spill on the ocean" or "a hazardous waste spill being contained"
i only ever remember the word being used when things go wrong..."quick, lets contain "x" before the media gets wind of it". it is a word that treats alters like they are a nuisance, problem or disaster". that is SO wrong to speak of alters as if they are like the above examples!

EVERY alter you have, no matter how they are behaving came into being to HELP you. that deserves respect and compassion from you and your T. Alters helped you SURVIVE - they are not a problem, they were your solution as a child and they need help now that you are grown up and their methods don't work as well in the adult world."R.E.S.P.E.C.T. find out what that means to me" Aretha Franklin said it right for us who have alters. they need to be respected if you ever want their cooperation in working on your issues.

my T was not experienced in working with mpd/did when i first came to her. she learned on me and on others. at first i just wanted to get my alters integrated and get on with "MY" life. until i learned it was "OUR" life i did not get much progress with our issues. my alters opposed me and even sabotaged our progress for quite a while because they felt angry over my unkindness toward them.

my alts bore pain, fear, shame, guilt, terror, agony, misery, rage, horror, violence, abuse..... and more FOR LESLIE. now it is my turn to give back to them so we can all learn how to heal together.

i know this got long, but i feel so strongly that your T is missing it here. he/she does NOT really know how to look at you and your alters are parts of the whole you, of equal value and honor with the "core" or "original self".

all parts CAN learn to cooperate, with time and sincere effort to help them too. if your T can't learn a more humane attitude to the alts who helped save your life i really doubt he/she will be able to help you very much.

leslie and her pixies

[Safron]

I agree with multipixie9. It is important to remember that the 'splits' happened in order to help you cope with something you yourself could not. The idea of 'containment' frightens me because I'm afraid 'they' would simply rebel against it. Recognising these other parts of you as 'friends' may help. Even if one or two seem a little hostile. It could be that one or two are angry with you for putting up with a particular situation. Never the less, try to see them as more like quarrelling siblings than battle scared enemies. All said and done it's you, all you. I was once told that this was a kind of self-cure, a survival thing, something we do in order to survive. I was also told that people who do this, be it unconsciously, are smart people. Bottom line, fear makes the situation worse. Reading up on DID will help to put it all into some perspective and hopefully alleviate the fear.

[Poohbear13]

[quote=Jewels;950413]
Ask him what about your not containing "them" bothers him.

Jewels:

First of all thanks for you insight. I will talk with my T about what exactly I need to be doing. Secondly, not containing "them" bothers me a great deal too. I am tired of being in places I don't remember how I got there or feeling overwhelmed. I don't like it when "they" are out and I am not in control. I want to be okay with what is going on in my life but I am not. I am so afraid that something will be done that I don't have control over.

I hope you are feeling better and again, I appreciate your input.

[Poohbear13]

Thanks multipixie, possum, jewels, and safron for your input. I will take what has been said into consideration when talking with my T about containment. I think you made a good point, safron, about not being scared of them. I am terribly afraid of all my alters because I don't know what they are going to do when they take over. I don't want to end up back in the hospital again. I have had therapist who have called the police and put me in the hospital when parts came out and wouldn't go back in. This has me scared it could happen again. I just feel afraid all the time with this new T and her getting to know my alters. I feel like a freak. Like I don't have control over my life right now. There are so many triggers in my life and my parts keep coming out.

Thanks for your understanding and listening.

[Safron]

Poohbear13,

The thing to remember is that you allowed them to take charge when you needed them to. The reason they seem quite hostile now is because you want control back. And, as strange as it sounds, you want control back because you are actually coping better now than when they first presented themselves. I had this explained to me and it helped a lot. As strange as it sounds, we feel our worst when we are actually getting better, gaining more control. It's the body and the minds way of helping us deal with tough stuff.. a bit at a time. It is possible to negotiate and compromise with all the other parts of you and come to some agreement making life a little easier to cope with. Granted it is important to discover and then try to avoid what triggers us the most. Take care of you.

[turquoisesea]

thanks Safron, good to know