I don't know if im in the right place, but.. I need some sort of advice, please?

Hi.

I'm not greatly sure how this goes but I saw a few people post things asking for help or advice and I'm not sure if this is the right forum, but i completed the sanity score test and it pointed to this but im not entirely sure if its right or not and I was just wondering if anybody.. Had.. any.. anything..

About a year ago I had two or three blackouts.

with the blackouts came memory loss, nothing major, just short term. And some drowseyness.

Once again, nothing major.

I went through the normal routes of the hospital, saw a neurologist, had all these checks, but nothing could be found. So we waited it out and things sort of went ok.

every now and again, i see things as if im looking at myself. like for some reason my vision is now behind me in the top corner of a room. that might not be strange but sometimes i just seem to, drift away form myself, and, it's like, my concious takes a backseat and the rest of me just goes on ahead.

Its a bit like a dream. in the way that, when you know your dreaming, your doing things you'd probably normally do, or reacting how you'd normally react, only, you have no real control over it? your just acting on impulse of what you would usually do, or what your meant to do.

i feel, like,when people talk to me, i watch their lips, and the short distance for information to get form my eyes to my brain is now a massively long distance.

and to reply, it's much the same.

it's almost as if everything relays from my body to my brain and back again in sloth mode.

but even then it just doesn't appear to be me.. to me..

this is really confusing, i admit im not great at explaining anything, but, it's like im viewing things from the lens of a camera..

you take the picture and you have a real moment, just... a plastic version of it.... argh this makes no sense, it's so hard to explain..

but to cut the story now, this had been happening on and off for the last year. lately it's getting worse. I just kind of drift off sometimes, not to sleep or anywhere in particular, but i'll find myself mid conversation and i wont remember what was being said.

or somebody will be gesturing toward me as if prompting a reply to a question i havent heard.

it's getting somewhat more worrying now and I am pretty, weirded out by it, and im scared to hell incase im insane. which is probably not the coolest thing to say but, i just need advice..


thank you for your time.

I see what you are saying as it use to happen to me when I was in my early stages of DID and Therapy..... are you seeing a T for this issue?

You may find your answers by talking to a RLP. If it is DID, a T will be most helpful in learning to manage this special gift and most importantly, finding a healing balance with whatever caused the DID.
Best of Luck

unsureofeverything,

There is so much help available today. When things began to surface for me there wasn't too much understanding around. I spent a long time thinking I must be going crazy before someone pointed out that only 'normal' people think they might be crazy. Crazy people don't question it or worry about the fact. The fact that you are asking questions and seeking information proves that you are not crazy. You are simply dealing with some perhaps serious issues. Information goes a long way to help us understand ourselves, even if others don't. Take care of you.

Hi unsureofeverything.

I know how unnerving it all can be. It sounds exactly like what I went through. There are different types of Dissociative Disorders though, not just DID. You might want to read about Depersonalization and Derealization.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=47621

Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder

The distinguishing characteristic of depersonalization disorder is the feeling that one is disconnected or unreal. Mind or body may be perceived as unattached, seen from a distance, existing in a dream, or mechanical.

Chronic depersonalization is commonly accompanied by "derealization," the feeling that features of the environment are illusory.

It should be noted that depersonalization as an isolated symptom may appear within the context of a wide variety of major psychiatric disorders like schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, panic disorders and even depression.

Mild episodes of depersonalization have been reported following alcohol use, sensory deprivation, mild social or emotional stress or sleep deprivation, and as a side effect to medications. However, severe depersonalization is considered to be present only if the sense of detachment associated with the disorder is recurrent and predominant.